Hali Dream
I had an interview yesterday and to me ,there were obvious signs that the interviewer was reacting to my BB with nose rubs,moving back and coughs..etc. i had a bad,weird dream about my halitosis/halitophbia last night. Can't remember all of it ,but alot of people from my past were saying they smelled my BB all along and were quiet about it. In the dream I was in school or something and I was finally able to ask people about my bb . Well ,people were saying how bad it always was and could not stand it for long. Everyone knew for years and years about my famous BB and it was Not Funny to them . Some people were respectful and tried to understand but still repulsed . Some were disgusted and thought i was diseased in some way ,and gave the old bs remedies from afar "brush your 4uking mouth! it stinks up the whole place !" My Dad was there . He was trying his best to help , having the same old ideas about brushing and that ,wasnt much help but very emotionally supportive though . The whole day I was basically begging for answers or help with my bb at this place for school or work or wutever it was. No nurses or doctors helped . As the dream went on ,more people knew that the stink was coming from me , I started to get that sick paranoid feeling . Like asking for sympathy or help but people are to afraid to come near because they don't want to be associated with one so gross i guess. In the end of the dream ,Some older wiser people had put on paper masks .When I looked around ,everybody was wearing them =/ . I wanted to cry, it was like the only way to fix it in everyones mind . The only solution ? I kept my mouth closed and had to humble if someone asked my anything .
I woke up feeling so bad and anxious . I often have had Zombie themed dreams since childhood, this was really no exception but More based on reality and not really abstract.
I've been back on the high raw fruit diet ,and i know it helps at least a bit. I really just want at least 1 person that I can be honest with about this BB,that will 4uk!ng be honest with me too. I understand how its hard for a person to be put in that spot though ,but its So Much harder for us to be in limbo about whats is really going on with out BB.
Its worse than the bb itself to not know and Worry. Someone could make a Billion dollar to invent a Real working pocket halimeter . We would finally know what works or doesn't . Meantime ,we worry that others smell us.