August 2008 Diary

Same shit as last month, I am trying peroxide, it does help, i feel fresher but my mind is *censored*ing with me. When I think I have good breath and try to talk to people I get horrible reactions and when I think my bb is horrible, I don't get back so horrible reactions.

I tried almost everything till now. Right now I am using baking soda for bushing teeth, using tung brush, using pure peroxide for sinuses and inject probiotics directly into my ass. Can you believe this shit. I am prepared to do everything, and this *censored*ing bb is just getting stronger and stronger!!!!!!!!

I am practically vegan most of the time, I have binges once per week. But this *censored*ing disease is so complex.

We don't even know where it is coming from . Not even one of the *censored*ers who are constantly making fun of us don't tell us, where it is coming from .

Halitomafia ignores us, because we are bad for business. Scientists don't probably give a *censored*, because we are minority!!!.

Having this disease is like getting a jackpot for few millions, probably even the percentage for having bb is less than becoming millionaire.

I am injecting *censored*ing probiotics directly into ass. I am humiliated, I am doing liver flushes, this week it has been probably my 10 th liver flush and I don't get any real improvement.

I mean bb is so bad people from a apartment above me react by walking like *censored*ing elephants and holding noses in front of my apartment. *censored*ing animals. It must smell to their apartment.

Sometimes I am pissed I just breathe out of window directly up so they can smell it even more. After a minute I can hear foot steps and that fat elephant closes his window. In fact right now I will do it. I ust think why do I care, why I dont just open y mouth all the time, I mean nobody likes me anyway, so why hide this hideous condition. BECAUSE I CARE FOR PEOPLE AND I FEEL SORRY FOR THEM; SORRY FOR THEM HAVING TO SMELL MY BB:

But it varies bb. On some day it is really good, not perfect, on some day I can be smelled like 50 meters or more in the outdoor. I dot know if that is possible but still.

My mind is triggering intensity of bb really a lot. I think we have some kind of mind trauma that is triggering bb. If that trauma would be cleared we would be cleared in a second.

Still need to have a therapist once per month, to help me cope with life.

I haven't have a real girlfreind for 2 years now. I see everyday what fat and ugly guys get cute chicks, but not me. Many people have told me in the past how good looking i was. But no getting a girlfriend is a hard one.

This *censored*ing life, i know there are more serious disease than we have, but still we have to live in isolation .

My parents, my mother would *censored*ing kill me if she could, that *censored*ing *censored* started to hate me when the bb first started. She had that *censored*ing idea that meds will help me so she desperately believed shrinks will cure me.

This *censored*ing animal, I am so sad that *censored* ever gave birth to me. I really *censored*ing hate this *censored*. SHe is the worst kind of an animal . She would just bury me alive if she could. Before when I still had no bb I was the best son, now she hates me to death.

I don't deserve such a *censored* for a mother, burn in hell. I had to go through so much pain only because of bb, she beat me, I had to sleep in a car when she was verbally and physically attacking me, she is on several psych meds, and she is like a *censored*ing mind zombie.

*censored* you you *censored*, you were never my mother, my mother died when i was 14 and I got bb, then you *censored*ing monster take over. I miss that mother, but now she became a *censored*ing zombie with no soul.

Yes believe your shrinks and take *censored*ing meds you *censored*. I never wanted something to happen to you, but you wanted to harm me. I am still better person. So I don't want to see you, talk to you, smell you, hear your *censored*ing lying voice, see a email from you, see a phone message from you, *censored* you. But still I never wanted to destroy your life like you did mine. GO live in peace, enjoy but no more contact from your son, I guarantee you that!!!!!!!

THIS IS WHAT BB CAN DO TO A HUMAN LIFE- CREATES HAVOC AND DISASTER!!!!!!!!

FROM A BELOVED BOY I BECAME A MAN WITH BAD AND FRUSTRATING MIND. ONLY BECAUSE OF BAD BREATH: AND STILL HALITOMAFIA IS SUCKING MONEY OUT OF EVERYBODY. STILL IN THE NEWS WE READ BAD BREATH IS CURABLE; STILL ON CNN THEY CLAIM HALITOMAFIA HAVE THE CURE; STILL NOBODY GIVES A SHIT; STILL THEY ARE USING ONLY CHLORHEXIDINE; A DANGEROUS CHEMICAL AND NOTHING ELSE

*censored*ING MORONS

sorry for rants, but this site is like a therapy, I need to show to everybody how I really feel and to beg parents of children with bb, PLEASE LOVE THEM; IT IS NOT YOUR CHILD FAULT; YOU MIGHT PASSED A GENOME TO THEM DIRECTLY; SO IT IS YOUR FAULT; BUT STILL THEY ARE GOING TO SOME TOUGH TIME, LOVE THEM, SUPOPORT THEM, DONT LIE TO THEM, SHOW THEM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM, SHOW THEM YOU WILL BE THERE FOR THEM ALWAYS, THEY ARE YOUR CHILDRENS.

PLEASE I BEG YOU, DONT BECOME LIKE MY PARENTS TURNED OUT. PLEASE DON'T.