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Back after a s*****e attempt. Now trying to cope with life.

Tell us what happened to you today. It can be sad or happy thing.
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coconuthead
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Back after a s*****e attempt. Now trying to cope with life.

Post by coconuthead »

Back in mid January, I tried to commit s*****e. I've been dealing with BB since I was 10 years old, and it's made life a living hell. Everyday is a challenge for me, as I'm sure it is with the rest of you all. I tried hanging myself, but fortunately the belt snapped and I hit the floor. Once I fell, I then realized that I didn't want to kill myself, I just wanted to kill the pain, but killing the pain would mean killing myself and I didn't want to die. I also didn't want to put my family through pain; especially, being that they'd be the ones to come into my room after wondering why I hadn't come out in a while and seeing my lifeless body just hanging. I didn't want to put them through that. I'm very fortunate that belt snapped, because had it didn't, I wouldn't be here today. I'm starting to be more thankful of life now. Yes, my breath stinks, but I'd rather live the rest of my life with the most awful breath, than to end life because of it. I'd then look like a weak person who just gives in when things get too tough. I didn't tell anyone until now about my s*****e attempt. I don't want anyone to think I'm crazy and that I need some type of psychological help, fearing I may attempt s*****e again. I WON'T! I have everything to live for, and a failed s*****e attempt hurts like hell. My neck was sore for two in a half weeks after that.

I recently fasted for a week, on water alone, because I read that it could cure bad breath. It didn't cure me of bad breath, but I did feel much more energized afterwards and I did lose 7lbs, which I guess isn't too good, because I'm already a fairly thin person standing at 5'3 and weighing 96lbs, so my weight plunged to 89lbs, and I gained it all back in like 5 days. School's still a living hell. It's getting the best of me, but I'm going to continue to hang in there. I left my job shortly before the s*****e attempt, so right now I'm just a full-time student. I'm just hoping for a miracle, a cure. I won't stop until I find one.


Jenc0
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Post by Jenc0 »

i have nothing to say to you meight, but being happy you realised that bad breath isn't the worse thing it can get you in life(for example, be on wheel paralize, toasted face,etc.)

We should live as we are given to, life is long and it could change anything, our life must have had some targets all the time and no matter how hard I smell...i even don't fuc.... care anymore.
I've got great idea for my head strength to start running maratons 42km, this will give the real will shoot :)
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Shit4Breath
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Post by Shit4Breath »

Hi Coconuthead : )

Glad your still with us! I just sent you a pm..
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mostlylogical
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Re: Back after a s*****e attempt. Now trying to cope with li

Post by mostlylogical »

coconuthead wrote:Back in mid January, I tried to commit s*****e. I've been dealing with BB since I was 10 years old, and it's made life a living hell. Everyday is a challenge for me, as I'm sure it is with the rest of you all. I tried hanging myself, but fortunately the belt snapped and I hit the floor. Once I fell, I then realized that I didn't want to kill myself, I just wanted to kill the pain, but killing the pain would mean killing myself and I didn't want to die. I also didn't want to put my family through pain; especially, being that they'd be the ones to come into my room after wondering why I hadn't come out in a while and seeing my lifeless body just hanging. I didn't want to put them through that. I'm very fortunate that belt snapped, because had it didn't, I wouldn't be here today. I'm starting to be more thankful of life now. Yes, my breath stinks, but I'd rather live the rest of my life with the most awful breath, than to end life because of it. I'd then look like a weak person who just gives in when things get too tough. I didn't tell anyone until now about my s*****e attempt. I don't want anyone to think I'm crazy and that I need some type of psychological help, fearing I may attempt s*****e again. I WON'T! I have everything to live for, and a failed s*****e attempt hurts like hell. My neck was sore for two in a half weeks after that.

I recently fasted for a week, on water alone, because I read that it could cure bad breath. It didn't cure me of bad breath, but I did feel much more energized afterwards and I did lose 7lbs, which I guess isn't too good, because I'm already a fairly thin person standing at 5'3 and weighing 96lbs, so my weight plunged to 89lbs, and I gained it all back in like 5 days. School's still a living hell. It's getting the best of me, but I'm going to continue to hang in there. I left my job shortly before the s*****e attempt, so right now I'm just a full-time student. I'm just hoping for a miracle, a cure. I won't stop until I find one.
i just want you to know that i know how you feel.I haven't attempt s*****e, probably i won't, though i had really bad times at coping with this situation i'm in.Like really really bad times.Being a student makes things worse, social impact of BB at that kind of environments is just too hard to cope with,especially when you have little or no support from the ones you care for.(i don't know much about your story though, this is just a generalisation).Professionals have no magicwands, though they can help(it depends).
Still there is no reason for you to be pessimist.As i get it, you're at your young ages, which means there will most likely be a solution at one point, a very simple one most likely, that'll make you have a nice laugh.
Well, i'm just glad that you're alive :)
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jess
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Post by jess »

All I will say is thank God you weren't successful at your attempt and i'm glad you're still with us Coconuthead.
My heart breaks when i hear stories like this, especially about young people like you who has your whole life in front of you. But theses stories don't have to repeat themselves because the main reason why people try to kill themselves is not really because of the bad breath they're suffering from, but rather because of the isolation it brings to their lives. A lot of people here have gone days, weeks, months, even years not connecting with other people in their lives and not being able to have a social life. But it doesn't have to be like this anymore. In this day and age with the advancement in technology there are many ways people from every place around the world are connecting with each other and supporting each other. As of right now we have the facebook page which is active and members are connecting with each other, chatting and getting to know one another. We even go to skype and have group calls where people are talking, laughing, and enjoying life once again, despite of this condition. We all hope and are looking for a cure, but in the meantime we're not letting life pass us by anymore.
So my point is I encourage all of you here one more time to come join us on the facebook page. It is a secret group, so privacy is not an issue and I guarrantee you will not regret it.
Stankie

Post by Stankie »

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Last edited by Stankie on Sat Aug 17, 2013 6:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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jess
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Post by jess »

People feel the need to connect to others because we are social beings and from the beginning we were made to live and be with other people. We are lucky because in this day and age we're living in there are many ways we can connect and support each other around the world through the internet.

All of us need to be more proactive and participate in things such as the facebook group and the group calls and chats we've been having on skype. Don't think you're too good to talk to other sufferers like yourselves. We're all normal, intelligent, beautiful and very kind people of all ages and if you saw us on the street you probably wouldn't think that we're dealing with this condition.
Stankie

Post by Stankie »

.....[/code]
Last edited by Stankie on Sat Aug 17, 2013 6:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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jess
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Post by jess »

Stankie wrote:You severely misunderstood my post.
Sorry if I did. Please clarify if you don't mind.
ItsgoingtobeOK
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Re: Back after a s*****e attempt. Now trying to cope with li

Post by ItsgoingtobeOK »

coconuthead wrote:. Yes, my breath stinks, but I'd rather live the rest of my life with the most awful breath, than to end life because of it. I'd then look like a weak person who just gives in when things get too tough.
Look at it this way, and I quote,
..perhaps when i meet God face to face I will understand why I had to deal which such a horrible, embarrassing "sickness". Perhaps, if I didnt have this I wouldnt be so sensitive to others and their feelings, perhaps Id be arrogant and over look other people, maybe I would make fun of people and talk behind their backs if they had bad breath. Because I have this I am very caring & sensitive towards others, I notice things other people don't.
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