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Wrestling With God

Here you can pray for yourself, for others, to Jesus, Alah, Jahve, Krishna, Buda etc
hopelessone
God
Posts: 587
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:53 am
United States of America

Wrestling With God

Post by hopelessone »

i have wrestled with God more times than i can count....because of this angst-ridden-surreal-befuddling-soul crushing-killer of a malady.

I have asked for healing. I have wanted to die. Seriously. I have been angry, resented those without the condition, that don't have a clue.

More times than i can count, i'd ferget i was "diff'rent" and be chatting animatedly, laughing, etc. And whoop, there it is.....the reactions.

Almost like something saying to me "here's a little something to wipe that silly grin off yer face, KA-POW!!!!!

It seems i fergot i was "diff'rent"...how DARE i?

It's a REAL surreal journey, when you're a Christian, a child of the Most High God. Oh the convrsations i've had with Him. THe not speaking to Him. The being FURIOUS with Him, and telling Him to just take me off the planet.

Yet I DO return. I miss him too much not to. And Last night He was working in my heart BIG TIME.

Let's pray together. Do you know how HARD it is to find prayer partners or sites that address THIS problem. It seems they're all oblivious.

Don't get me started.

All right, back on track. Idiocy is NOT gonna get my feathers ruffled. I'm focusing on God. HE is my Redeemer, my Healer, and the Lover of my soul.

Jimi don't know it, but God is using him mightily. May Jimi be blessed in more ways than he can fathom, and quickly.

God bless you Jimi.


hopelessone
God
Posts: 587
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:53 am
United States of America

Post by hopelessone »

still praying for all of us, especially Jimi. Jimi reminds me of Oskar Schindlerm a rescuer of hopeless ones, where they could find refuge and safety. He did not know possibly that starting this site was a shining light for so many who had NOWHERE else to turn.

May God bless him thousand fold, and more, and pour HIs grace upon him.

Father may it be so, in the name of Jesus the Christ, the only begotten Son of You, the living God, the God of the living, and our Healer, our Defender, and our Abba, Who hears our cries, and rejoices over us with singing, amen.
hopelessone
God
Posts: 587
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:53 am
United States of America

Post by hopelessone »

God be with us today, in the name of Jesus the Christ, the only begotten Son of You, the living God, the God of the living, and our Healer, our Comforter, Protector, and defender, amen.
ihatethebus
Master
Posts: 229
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:03 pm

Post by ihatethebus »

@ Hopelessone. if i had 10% of your character in me , id prolly be 20 times better than the person i am 2day. keep on inspirin people. the world cud wit more pips like you..

(((((hugs)))) (TM.lol)
Phantasist
Sheriff
Posts: 484
Joined: Wed Jul 21, 2010 8:32 pm

Post by Phantasist »

Hopelessone,
It seems that we all have a heavy cross to bear, but God is not responsible for our bad breath. God allowed us to have intelligence and free will, and that means that we are responsible to solve our problems. When you pray, give thanks to all the good things that you have in your life, and all the bad things which could have happened to you, but didn't. You didn't get cancer, you didn't die in a plane-crash, you didn't lose your eyesight. So be thankful. You call yourself "Hopelessone", but there may yet be hope. There are many different causes of bad breath, and you may yet find yours and eliminate it. You obviously believe in God, so you must believe in good and evil. Concentrate on the good. I know it's hard to be positive with this nightmare problem of ours, but it does no good to wrestle with God.
The hand we are dealt is fate. How we play the cards is free will.
hopelessone
God
Posts: 587
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:53 am
United States of America

Post by hopelessone »

yes, i am a child of God, but i be hurtin' reeeeal bad...and when i wrestle with HIm it's cuz i regress to a wounded 7 yr old, in a dark corner, crying tears that would fill the ocean and then some. i cry out to Him, have told Him i hate Him, told Him to leave me alone, told Him to let me die, accused hIm of allowing such evil. There are times i'm so crushed i cannot speak to him.

It's those times i have more than i can bear, and He's no where to be found, and leaves me in a crumpled, wounded heap.

It's hard to explain.

Shame and rejection are killers. And this horror of a condition tweaks that very thing. Inexplicably.

It rears it's ugly head, and there's no way to fight it. It just takes over. What a curse.

Reminds me of the song called "Praise You In This Storm".....in the lyrics it says "i thought You would save the day"...etc.

That's how i feel about my Abba....why doesn't He rescue His daughter> In my most crucial hour of need. Why?

I'm just sharing my pain. It's the worst horror i've ever had to endure. And i've had other hardships. But nothing that stabs a knife smack into the heart of my vulnerability like this.

Today wasn't as devastating at work. But that's cuz my toughness kicked in, and i kept thinkin' of that joke i read here on the site and kept chucklin' and not lettin' ignance get inside my head. i also thought of ev'ryone here, and kept my head up fer yer'all sakes, as i remembered i'm not alone. WE all gotta stick together.

This site is a God-send. I don't know why God allows this bb, but in the meantime, knowing that there are others who struggle like me, helps me face one more day, and not let it conquer me.

This site is like a Lighthouse, shining light into the darkest of places.
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