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what do you suggest I do in this situation

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DanielPine
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what do you suggest I do in this situation

Post by DanielPine »

Hi everyone

Im going start by saying I havent really been dealt good cards in my life. I have crippling anxiety and of course, severe bad breath. And they dont mix very well together to say the least. And ive come to realise that I will probably not be cured. i simply dont know what to do with myself. I am very quiet and I dont talk very much to anyone except my friends at school (having this problem as a 16 year old is TORTURE btw). Two of my friends know about my problem, but they are ok with it, they still chat to me and stuff. I have one friend outside of school who I am super close with and he has a 20% sense of smell most of the time which is great. I have another very close friend and he puts up with me pretty well, he likes it when i sit next to him despite my problem. So my friend situation is pretty good :D

However, school itself SUCKS. Class is terrible. Whoever I sit next to covers their noses and when I sit next to a girl I cant even concentrate because I know I am disgusting them. So in about 40-50% of my classes I sit alone, if I have friends in my class I sit with them. I am pretty unpopular and I dont really talk to anyone outside of my group. Some people only know me for my BB, they smell it, then dont talk to me again. So in 50% of my grades mind I am probably "poo boy" or something lol. Sometimes this cute Asian girl tries to flirt with me, but of course I smile and nod then run away to the corner of the room like my backside is on fire lol. I frequently catch girls staring at me, but unfortunately I cant exactly flirt back can I? Anyway, school is terrible.

My family situation is not good. My family lie to me (just a note, I dont blame my family for lying to me. If my sister or mum had BB I wouldnt tell them if they asked and I would cover my nose around them ((we are only human)) and probably avoid them. I went to see Skyfall with my family the other day and boy did my dad react. He oriented his whole body away from me. (You know, your screwed when your own family avoid you lol ((I think I will mostly see movies by myself now)) ). My dad seems to have this philosophy engraved into his head "My son (me) lives in an upper middle class caucasian family in a first world country so therefore he should not have any problems and if he does they are stupid" (my dad isnt a moron, hes just a bit closed minded). So if I bring up my BB he lashes back saying something like "its the time of your life and your worried about bad breath?". So what do I do? go to my mum. My mum is a lovely woman. She semi-admits I have BB and is willing to help me, she makes doctors appointments for me and really tries to help me. But when I get sad and cry to her she also gets really sad, more than me and is depressed for the next few days until I tell her im ok. So I guess I cant really cry to any of my parents, but I have so much crying to do due to my bad breath and severe anxiety. (This is a really sad story: a few days ago I got my report card from school I got 6 As and 2 Bs and my parents were ecstatic my mum was glowing! But I thought to myself "what are all these good marks worth when I wont be able to get a job because of my BB" so I just started to cry and my mum got so sad. She would have been glowing for days but I just went ahead and ruined it all for her, i was so guilty). My extended family think im rude because I never talk to them, but really its just the BB. However, I have one cousin that I go on holiday with every so often and we play videogames together for a week and have BBQs and stuff which is a pretty big break from depressing school. He reacts to my BB but he puts up with it pretty well, considering we are around eachother 90% of the day. The family situation is not too great

My biggest concern is my future. I know it will be hard to work in an office or with lots of other people so I am probably going to need an outdoors or home job. I will join the army reserve, but that is not enough to support me (20,000 a year) and I am not good enough to join the full time army. I am a good writer and my school wants to publish a short story I wrote in some book, so writing could be a career that I could do from home. But besides that, I dont know what I could do :( The one thing that eats away at me is the idea that I will probably not get a wife or kids. Not many girls will put up with BB like I have.


halitosisux
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Post by halitosisux »

Daniel, you mentioned once that your sister told you that you had BB. What does she say when you ask her now?

I've asked you this once before but you didn't reply - so if it's because you don't want to, then it's ok.
happylife05
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Post by happylife05 »

Daniel -

Regarding your carrier: Do what you really like to do. If you are good at what you do, people will be ok with you BB, you can always showcase them that you are still trying to find a cure and they will understand your situation. One day you will definitely find a cure.

Regarding School: Study well, don't let bb situation effect your studies. Play sports that you are good at - your bb doesn't come in between for this. You got two lovely friends, always be good to them as they are coping with your bb. Regarding girls, if you feel like talking to a girl, go do it. Manage your bb by chewing a gum or something. If one girl hates you leave it there and go for another girl, don't take it to heart, i know it is not easy but, it will be easy once you don't take all the negative things to heart. You may find a girl who is ok with your BB, as you found your two other friends. Remember you will have great days with some girl, when you are free of BB, be hopeful!.

Work with your mom: You got a wonderful mom, thank god for that! work with her regarding your BB, be communicative to her and your doctor, as they understand your problem. You both should be patient in this journey of finding a cure. As we all know sources for BB is not one. Some people got cure by removing tonsils, some by removing wisdom teeth, some by treating their H.Pylori etc., and lot of people like me are still searching for a cure. If we succeed we share our story and someone will be benefited by that.

Summary: Be good to yourself and others. Help yourself and others.
Don't let BB make you depress - hope for a cure and keep trying (baby steps)
Note down in a diary about all the things you are trying to find a cure. Discuss with mom and write to the members of this forum. Good luck!
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MrChips
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Post by MrChips »

Your are young Daniel. Im very positive you will cure your bad breath problem one day. This forum is the correct place to be. I am 31 now, I really wish I had these forums and information at my fingertips when i was a teenager.
Keep positive.... \:D/
needcurefast
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Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 6:51 am

same situation with me

Post by needcurefast »

Daniel, you will be okay I went thru the same thing in highschool a year before I graduated to be specific, and I didn't want to start college, because of it. Now I have to. I need an excuse so my parents won't put me out the house. So I'm starting college January, 2013. So you won't be alone, I am 20 years old and I do have a girlfriend, but its a struggle I went on and told her my problem and she understood.So theirs girls out there whose okay with it if you trying to cure it. Some will even help you, what shock me was my girl told me she was in love with me. Mind = Blown.

I concur with its being hard to concentrate on school work cause you worried someone smelling something. I'm glad your mom wants yo help you because my mom doesn't care. Shes mad at me because I don't wanna go have fun with them today and go skating, in my head theirs a lot of ppl there and don't wanna smell my breath so why go. My parents told me I make feel like I'm a shame of them. Like I'm the one embarrassed I feel their a little selfish for not considering my feelings.
DanielPine
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Post by DanielPine »

Thanks for the responses everyone :)

@ Halitosisux, my sister said it is an insult/joke a few times. When I asked her about it again she said I didnt have BB.
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