venting

Post by **Jimi Stein** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 9:46 am

So why dont you express your feelings

Tell her how you feel about her, maybe she does not know what is going on

you were on many "dates" I mean dinners, maybe it is too late, maybe she put you in the friendship zone

if she says no, tell her to give you the money asap

spygirl · Post by **spygirl** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:43 am

Without hope, where the ***k do we go?

I understand you thanatos. I also think that your ladyfriend may not be as bad as people will usually think, only screwed up financially. She could have found a great friend in you. And although she may or may not want to go into relationship with you, she doesn't want to lose that friendship.

She signing up that piece of i-o-u note and not giving you sex in the process of borrowing money are good signs.

Tell her how you feel about her (if you can't, write). Tell her of your situation financially and how her paying you back soon would be helpful to you(- it does not have to be a one-time pay off, does it?). I bet she'll show you good gesture or you may also work out with a payment plan that is bearable on her part. It is very useful to ask her whether you are in the friend zone or further. She may feel trapped because of the loan, so tell her that nothing will change in your feelings whatever her answer may be.

Be careful in how you talk to her. Don't make her feel cheap just because she owes you money. This could be the reason why she is backing away from you. You dropping by and checking on her everyday. She may feel constricted.

Now if you still like her afterwards, work out your friendship and worm your way through. Be the same person as you were when you were still going out with her.

Be cool and don't act like a love-sick puppy. We girls in general like confidence and sense of humour in guys.

thanatos · Post by **thanatos** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:42 am

thanatos · Post by **thanatos** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:47 pm

spygirl · Post by **spygirl** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:25 pm

Take things easy. Find something to be busy with. Good luck to you thanatos. I'll continue praying for you.

Busted · Post by **Busted** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:39 pm

thanatos wrote:Either it flatters her or it'll make her want to pay me off ASAP so she can run away.

What did u write? Your love or my money back?

thanatos · Post by **thanatos** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:47 pm

waitingforrelief · Post by **waitingforrelief** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 10:03 pm

hmm, why don't you just call or visit her? you may have bb, but she sounds like a girl who wants the guy to be more active and initiates more. it doesn't sound like the bb is a problem to her really.

just go for it (her-you know what i mean). don't let good things and people go by like this. i'm sure she'd have smelled your bb by now, but it still sounds like she feels close to you. if you lose her now, i doubt it'd be because of the bb.

don't let this hold you back. be pro-active! good luck!

thanatos · Post by **thanatos** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 5:40 pm

thanatos · Post by **thanatos** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:23 pm

Iris · Post by **Iris** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:23 am

Thanatos, I understand your feelings and probably I would feel the same if someone would not reply a love letter. However, it is much easier someone from outside to see different things. After reading your story with this woman, I felt sensitive and praying for anything positive to happen. It seems she did not reply or did not call you. It is sad. However, why do not you wait more days to judge her or her feelings? Maybe she is very busy now and she waiting things to get well in order to call you. Maybe she is really surprised with your letter and she does not know what to say to you right now. If I were you I would wait.... I know it is easy to say this things when I am not the person who is hurt.

Ch_Adams · Post by **Ch_Adams** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:24 am

Thanatos I guess you are a good person for helping her. But remember that when you help someone don't have to wait for a reward or an academy award. You did it... that's great, good for you. But do not wait her to fall in love with you for doing so. Love is free and has no conditions. Moreover for you to love her, you have to start loving yourself and your life other way you will not have much to offer to her or any other person arounds you. Love is a state of mind that keeps us alive so I invite you to fall in love with your life before any other thing. This is the way it works from my point of view. There exist a cure just give it a hope. Go ahead friend.

mike987 · Post by **mike987** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:07 am

Ch_Adams wrote:Thanatos I guess you are a good person for helping her. But remember that when you help someone don't have to wait for a reward or an academy award. You did it... that's great, good for you. But do not wait her to fall in love with you for doing so. Love is free and has no conditions. Moreover for you to love her, you have to start loving yourself and your life other way you will not have much to offer to her or any other person arounds you. Love is a state of mind that keeps us alive so I invite you to fall in love with your life before any other thing. This is the way it works from my point of view. There exist a cure just give it a hope. Go ahead friend.

Well said

Thanatos,
You've done a good deed. And with that, you should never expect compensation. Be happy knowing that you've saved her life and her daughter's.

You've done so much, and now all you can do is keep your honor by forgetting all about it.. As a reward, accept the pride you earned for doing so much and receiving so little, but don't let it be attached to anything.

thanatos · Post by **thanatos** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:57 am

Busted · Post by **Busted** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 12:45 pm

Man seems like you are putting almost everything you got into this. If she says no, you will surely become even more depressed than you are now.

But you had a lot of other gfs in the past. So you must know how to deal with this I hope. I think even if you dd not have bb, there could still be a chance that she only sees you as a good friend. But of course because of this bb problem, we're all just more desperate. But if it's really the bb, then there's isn't much you can do about it.