need a little encouragement

sillygrrl08 · Post by **sillygrrl08** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:16 pm

Hi.....Here's my problem. A couple of years ago I worked for a company from hell. Because of my bb, these people treated me less than human. They disrespected me, said nasty things about me just in earshot, and well just completey broke me down. During this time is when depression and thoughts of s*****e and attempts were unmanageable. I suffered at this job for 2 years until finally I was able to get another job that requires less people interaction.

Well because of my new job and my job requirements I am now face with having to go back to the company from hell for a weekly correspondent with a client I have there. God must be testing me. My anxiety has reached through the roof. I don't want to go but I have to go...I can't tell my boss i'm dropping this client, she'll wonder why. As I sit here and write this letter I should be on my way there. But my feet will not move. I litterally can see them all snickering and laughing behind my back. (I feel like the outcast in high school) And the horrible memories of the things they said about me is all flooding back. My hands are shaking. . . . . God please give me strength.

DRASTIC · Post by **DRASTIC** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:45 pm

Hi sillygrrl08,

Be strong. Consider yourself fortunate since you have a job.

Take it from me. I am unemployed and flat broke. I am trying to apply for some jobs in many fields and no positive response so far.

You have a job = Money = some freedom to buy products to help you.

Dont ruin it. Take the clients. Just go there and do your best job and be strong.

God will help you if you will only be strong.

Right now I wish I had a job. I was laid off months ago and still nothing. Some opportunities I wasted because I was too afraid to go to interviews because people interviewing me would cough and cover noses when I tried to talk.

So, take it from me you could be worst off like me FLAT BROKE AND NO JOB>That will lead to worst negative thoughts. And you dont want that ever.

It will hurt when people say things and snicker and laugh at you.
BUT toughen your skin and bear it. LOOK HOW JESUS TOK THE CROSS FOR US> I am sure he felt like giving up a couple times but didnt.

Keep strong and just do you best job. GOD IS WITH YOU>

DRASTIC

sillygrrl08 · Post by **sillygrrl08** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 7:58 pm

thanks for the enourgement Drastic. I finally got myself together and decided to go. I held my head up high, I was polite and I went on about my business. They were actually nicer to me than they were when I worked there. I don't know if they snickered and laughed after I left .....but I decided that I don't care. I shouldn't let people decide how i'm going to feel about myself.

halitosisux · Post by **halitosisux** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:17 pm

Hi sillygrrl08,
I saw your posting earlier but in the short time i had i couldnt think of anything that wouldnt likely make matters even worse. Glad to hear you got thru your awful prospect today. We are considered to have a BB problem, but actually its others who thrive on bringing us down who have the problems.
I dont know anything about you yet, but i hope you find the help and support that you need on here.

meowkity1 · Post by **meowkity1** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:18 am

I understand completely. I havnt worked since my bb started about3 years ago. I wish I could get disabilituy. I dont know when Ill be able to face people. Almost every job requires you to talk. And if not you have to be around people so theyll still smell your nose. I just wish it didnt come out nose, then I would just keep my mouth closed. It used to be that way. Not anymore. Im so smart but I think my brain will go to waste because Imm too embarassed to go to school or work. GOD plesase help us all. Its just not fair

meowkity1 · Post by **meowkity1** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:19 am

SORRY i forgot the encouragement.