Felt like I wanted to inject some positivity to the site today...
In the past six months, I've changed the way I think about this problem. I'm still working for a cure/solution, and I get good ideas from people on this site. So thanks and please keep contributing.
With that said, I've had a few fantastic dates with women the past month. In the past few months, I just decided to be the confident person I always was before bb, got into really good shape, kept working towards my goals and interests, and not only do I have a pretty good social life and work life, I now have some love interests as well. Funny story... The woman I dated over the weekend said she loves the cartoon "Pepe Le Pew" (sp?) and also said she loves "skunky" beer. I speculate that that was her way of telling me she likes me despite the problem. After that, major, fun, exciting make-out session ensued. I also wore great cologne. And she told me how good I smell. And dudes, let me tell you, this girl is gorgeous and successful.
All to say, bb doesn't have to rule your life. If people are not accepting of you, ***k 'em. Tell yourself and really BELIEVE it, it's THEIR problem and THEIR loss. Otherwise, keep working on yourself and good things can happen.
Hank
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Dating and bb
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adventure_girl
- Total Newbie
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:30 pm
Hey, that's pretty awesome. Congrats!
I honestly think that you are truly lucky to find someone, that likes you for who you are and still continues to see you despite the bb issue. My guess is that your bb is not so terribly bad.
But sometimes, confidence, looks and a great personality just doesn't cut it for most people if the person they're into has bb. It gets in the way with a lot of things especially the intimacy factor of a relationship which is obviously crucial.
This is my case, I get approached by people in new classes, parties and everything, I get along with people easily and (no arrogance) but have a pretty rocking personality and I am attractive but that just doesn't cut it. BB really ruins so many things. They would be interested but once my bb becomes more apparent, I get the friend card.
May I ask what is the possible cause of your bb? And what you do to manage/mask it, in a way that is what seems to be totally working for you.
Glad to hear that someone having bb issues is still living it up! We hear a lot of depressing stories of bb and most of us have been and are still going through it, this is refreshing and it gives some kind of hope and positivity.
I honestly think that you are truly lucky to find someone, that likes you for who you are and still continues to see you despite the bb issue. My guess is that your bb is not so terribly bad.
But sometimes, confidence, looks and a great personality just doesn't cut it for most people if the person they're into has bb. It gets in the way with a lot of things especially the intimacy factor of a relationship which is obviously crucial.
This is my case, I get approached by people in new classes, parties and everything, I get along with people easily and (no arrogance) but have a pretty rocking personality and I am attractive but that just doesn't cut it. BB really ruins so many things. They would be interested but once my bb becomes more apparent, I get the friend card.
May I ask what is the possible cause of your bb? And what you do to manage/mask it, in a way that is what seems to be totally working for you.
Glad to hear that someone having bb issues is still living it up! We hear a lot of depressing stories of bb and most of us have been and are still going through it, this is refreshing and it gives some kind of hope and positivity.
Adventure Girl,
Appreciate your positive comments.
Sounds like you're a great person. Just keep being great and hopefully you'll find an understanding guy who accepts you for all the great things you bring to the table.
As for my routine, I really do a bunch of random things, which is a compilation of suggestions I received on this board.
Lately in morning and maybe before going out, I:
- Do oil pulling with olive oil
- Brush tongue, whole mouth, with special emphasis on roof of mouth (which in the past I've mostly ignored) with special tooth paste called Peelu which has unique ingredient suggested on this board supposed to help with oral health (can't remember ingredient just now)
- Gargle/rinse with regular Listerine, with water added, and maybe even some hydrogen peroxide (like I said, really random stuff). However, one thing I do is lay down on my back, push tongue to roof of mouth, and gargle in that position for as long as I can take it. I think it gets further back in throat and maybe even seeps up into nasal passages, which is where my post nasal drip comes from. Maybe helps fight the PND a bit.
- Chop up some lemons and chew/suck on pieces in the car when I'm heading somewhere
- For a while I was gargling with water with a splash of bleach, but if I do this too much, my tongue bleeds. Not good, but somewhere heard that bleach/water is solution for periodontal disease. Bleach kills germs basically. If you do this, just use a little bit of bleach.
- Gargle with type of medicinal clay solution, which someone suggested on this board. Once again can't remember name right now (Benonite clay?).
Who the hell knows if all this is helping however. I think for me it's mostly just a psychological thing. But I did all this before my last date and last nite out with friends and didn't have reactions. Then again, I do this in morning before work and get reactions from co-workers.
This week I'm getting some upper GI tests and barium swallow done and h pylori test because I've had bad acid reflux in past and have really slow digestion. I'm also taking nasal spray and antihistimine for stuffy nose and PND. Doesn't seem like that's having any effect. In past, I really ignored docs and dentists cause they didn't seem to help. Now, on suggestion from people on this board, I'm using them as a resource.
In conclusion, focusing on diagosing possible stomach problems, basic good mouth hygiene with emphasis lately on roof of mouth and maybe getting to PND. Couple docs I've seen said "Yes" right away to PND, so that's my focus lately. Crappy smell comes from roof of mouth when I brush there.
Funny story about my last date... At end of date, I used restroom and did a quick gargle with mouthwash. I came out, and she smells me and said, did you use wash, why?
Now you might think all of this is evidence of my not having a problem. But let me assure you this problem as f'ed up my life majorly. Left high paying job because of everyday bad reactions. Personality turned into shit because of self-consciousness about problem. Problem entered into my every thought when going out and being social. Every customer I saw pinched their nose. Co-workers pinched nose, turned away, etc, etc. Most still do, but I'm just paying less attention to them and being more confident. But having a job where interactions with others is basically minimized has helped a lot. I also focus much of my social activities with others on outdoor activies like running, tennis, hiking, etc where you're not in face to face contact all the time. I also try not to go out to eat with friends because I think food makes it worse.
Long post, but hope you get some ideas.
Sincerely,
Hank
Appreciate your positive comments.
Sounds like you're a great person. Just keep being great and hopefully you'll find an understanding guy who accepts you for all the great things you bring to the table.
As for my routine, I really do a bunch of random things, which is a compilation of suggestions I received on this board.
Lately in morning and maybe before going out, I:
- Do oil pulling with olive oil
- Brush tongue, whole mouth, with special emphasis on roof of mouth (which in the past I've mostly ignored) with special tooth paste called Peelu which has unique ingredient suggested on this board supposed to help with oral health (can't remember ingredient just now)
- Gargle/rinse with regular Listerine, with water added, and maybe even some hydrogen peroxide (like I said, really random stuff). However, one thing I do is lay down on my back, push tongue to roof of mouth, and gargle in that position for as long as I can take it. I think it gets further back in throat and maybe even seeps up into nasal passages, which is where my post nasal drip comes from. Maybe helps fight the PND a bit.
- Chop up some lemons and chew/suck on pieces in the car when I'm heading somewhere
- For a while I was gargling with water with a splash of bleach, but if I do this too much, my tongue bleeds. Not good, but somewhere heard that bleach/water is solution for periodontal disease. Bleach kills germs basically. If you do this, just use a little bit of bleach.
- Gargle with type of medicinal clay solution, which someone suggested on this board. Once again can't remember name right now (Benonite clay?).
Who the hell knows if all this is helping however. I think for me it's mostly just a psychological thing. But I did all this before my last date and last nite out with friends and didn't have reactions. Then again, I do this in morning before work and get reactions from co-workers.
This week I'm getting some upper GI tests and barium swallow done and h pylori test because I've had bad acid reflux in past and have really slow digestion. I'm also taking nasal spray and antihistimine for stuffy nose and PND. Doesn't seem like that's having any effect. In past, I really ignored docs and dentists cause they didn't seem to help. Now, on suggestion from people on this board, I'm using them as a resource.
In conclusion, focusing on diagosing possible stomach problems, basic good mouth hygiene with emphasis lately on roof of mouth and maybe getting to PND. Couple docs I've seen said "Yes" right away to PND, so that's my focus lately. Crappy smell comes from roof of mouth when I brush there.
Funny story about my last date... At end of date, I used restroom and did a quick gargle with mouthwash. I came out, and she smells me and said, did you use wash, why?
Now you might think all of this is evidence of my not having a problem. But let me assure you this problem as f'ed up my life majorly. Left high paying job because of everyday bad reactions. Personality turned into shit because of self-consciousness about problem. Problem entered into my every thought when going out and being social. Every customer I saw pinched their nose. Co-workers pinched nose, turned away, etc, etc. Most still do, but I'm just paying less attention to them and being more confident. But having a job where interactions with others is basically minimized has helped a lot. I also focus much of my social activities with others on outdoor activies like running, tennis, hiking, etc where you're not in face to face contact all the time. I also try not to go out to eat with friends because I think food makes it worse.
Long post, but hope you get some ideas.
Sincerely,
Hank
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captain_cooch
- Newbie
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 3:46 am
Hank, I think you are spot on with this. Before I knew I had bb (or knew & didn't care) I was so happy, had a HUGE social circle, a g/f and many females interested. Most of the people I know nowadays would NEVER believe me if I told them how I used to be. I am such a different person now.
Because I was positive, confident, and truly had an I dont give a shit approach -- this goes a long way, especially with women.
I let comments from others (probably jealous friends) destroy my confidence and slowly but surely ruin my life. Some people are better at not letting this happen than others.
This says a lot about our condition. Although it is very real and like you I am not done trying to eliminate it, I think we all have to fit in the possibility that we are stuck with it for life.
I know.. it sucks and the whole being positive thing is a lot easier said than done... but it works and I know from experience.
I have not yet worked up the balls to turn this around though. My life is progressively getting darker and more isolated every day. I don't think I'll be able to do this to myself forever.. it's no way to live.
Because I was positive, confident, and truly had an I dont give a shit approach -- this goes a long way, especially with women.
I let comments from others (probably jealous friends) destroy my confidence and slowly but surely ruin my life. Some people are better at not letting this happen than others.
This says a lot about our condition. Although it is very real and like you I am not done trying to eliminate it, I think we all have to fit in the possibility that we are stuck with it for life.
I know.. it sucks and the whole being positive thing is a lot easier said than done... but it works and I know from experience.
I have not yet worked up the balls to turn this around though. My life is progressively getting darker and more isolated every day. I don't think I'll be able to do this to myself forever.. it's no way to live.
Captain Cooch,
Appreciate your post. You and I are on the same page here. Hang in there bro. I was totally where you are at now. Holy crap was I in the dumps. And I still am much of the time. But more and more, I'm just discounting negative feelings... I tell myself, I need to focus on what I have control over... My thoughts and behavior. Everything else is out of my control, so I need to let it slide. It's also not good to compare yourself with others (like with people that have good breath). What does their life have to do with yours? They got their own problems, believe me. And any other person you may see is relatively happy/unhappy. What turned things around for me was I signed up for a 10 mile organized run 3 months ago. And I was only in shape to run 1-2 miles. Therefore running became my focus to train for the event. The training was great. Exercise gets your mind positive. Then when I finished it, I felt great with the accomplishment. That postitivity spilled over into other aspects of my life. But like you, I"m prepared for the possibility that this will never get solved. If so, I'll just meet some great gal from this site, and we'll make out with nose plugs on.
Hang in there bro.
Hank
Appreciate your post. You and I are on the same page here. Hang in there bro. I was totally where you are at now. Holy crap was I in the dumps. And I still am much of the time. But more and more, I'm just discounting negative feelings... I tell myself, I need to focus on what I have control over... My thoughts and behavior. Everything else is out of my control, so I need to let it slide. It's also not good to compare yourself with others (like with people that have good breath). What does their life have to do with yours? They got their own problems, believe me. And any other person you may see is relatively happy/unhappy. What turned things around for me was I signed up for a 10 mile organized run 3 months ago. And I was only in shape to run 1-2 miles. Therefore running became my focus to train for the event. The training was great. Exercise gets your mind positive. Then when I finished it, I felt great with the accomplishment. That postitivity spilled over into other aspects of my life. But like you, I"m prepared for the possibility that this will never get solved. If so, I'll just meet some great gal from this site, and we'll make out with nose plugs on.
Hang in there bro.Hank
Thanks for the post Hank! Ive actually been in the same situation lately. As soon as I said im going to start thinking positive and not let the bad breath control me, things started happening where it didn't matter wether I had bb or not, and it pretty much did not exist. Ive made out with a few girls for long periods of time with no bad reactions.
Give yourself the power, not the bad breath. Be in the present moment!
This is great Hank! I feel really positive about this!
Give yourself the power, not the bad breath. Be in the present moment!
This is great Hank! I feel really positive about this!
You go Grizz!
Keep up the positivity. But I will say that it's a daily challenge to stay positive and requires mental discipline. I'd like to say that I don't care or never think about it, but I definitely do. Even though I've had some positive experiences lately, I'm still really self-conscious, but it's just something to try to get over. I need to prepare myself for the periods of no-luck-with-the- ladies, when it will be more of a challenge to stay positive. What a powerful effect that attraction and the reciprocation of attraction has on the human psych/emotion. That's why this is such a debilitating problem, when social aspect of life or attraction is so hampered by bb.
Hank
Keep up the positivity. But I will say that it's a daily challenge to stay positive and requires mental discipline. I'd like to say that I don't care or never think about it, but I definitely do. Even though I've had some positive experiences lately, I'm still really self-conscious, but it's just something to try to get over. I need to prepare myself for the periods of no-luck-with-the- ladies, when it will be more of a challenge to stay positive. What a powerful effect that attraction and the reciprocation of attraction has on the human psych/emotion. That's why this is such a debilitating problem, when social aspect of life or attraction is so hampered by bb.
Hank
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longislander
- Total Newbie
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:38 am
I really agree with you adventure girl. I am a decent looking guy and I am so easy to talk to and pretty much get a long with everyone. I didnt have a bb problem until I was about 23 (I am 27 now) and it started ever since I broke my nose..before I had the bb problem I never had a problem with relatinoships... My first dates always go so well..I feel like people are willing to deal with the bb problem for a date or too.. they think.. oh maybe he ate something weird or something.. or i just caught him on a bad day.. after i see them a few times...they realize it doesnt go away..and at that point it usually just fizzles out..I mean I have had some woman be soo into me at first, calling me, sending me texts, saying how they havent felt like this before, blah blah blah... and then after they realize how bad and chronic the issue is... its over..gone..its really disturbing and can pretty much destory any ambition you have for dating.adventure_girl wrote:Hey, that's pretty awesome. Congrats!
I honestly think that you are truly lucky to find someone, that likes you for who you are and still continues to see you despite the bb issue. My guess is that your bb is not so terribly bad.
But sometimes, confidence, looks and a great personality just doesn't cut it for most people if the person they're into has bb. It gets in the way with a lot of things especially the intimacy factor of a relationship which is obviously crucial.
This is my case, I get approached by people in new classes, parties and everything, I get along with people easily and (no arrogance) but have a pretty rocking personality and I am attractive but that just doesn't cut it. BB really ruins so many things. They would be interested but once my bb becomes more apparent, I get the friend card.
May I ask what is the possible cause of your bb? And what you do to manage/mask it, in a way that is what seems to be totally working for you.
Glad to hear that someone having bb issues is still living it up! We hear a lot of depressing stories of bb and most of us have been and are still going through it, this is refreshing and it gives some kind of hope and positivity.
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Archimonde
- Super Angel
- Posts: 885
- Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:14 pm
Wow, what kind of exercise do you do Hank?
I recently went to a movie theater, I knew I'd hear the signs sooner or later being stuck in a stale air environment. Then came on the coughs and sniffis, I could smell myself and it wasn't pretty. Throughout the entire movie I felt like that but I stayed confident with my head up. That really helped the situation, I left the theatre feeling confident but knew people around me weren't comfortable, but I felt ok, instead of me being the victrim, I turned it all upside and made everything normal.
My social activies regarding people have been reduced to drinking alcohol and smoking ciggaretes, I think i will visit the gym more often even though I"m confident in my at home exercise routine, I think exercising in a gym is the best way since most people there are stuck on themselves instead of trying to pry into other people's business.
I'm currently experimenting on more natural cures.... Out of everything I've tried, exercise seems to give the most benefit. Maybe the stress relief is the reason, either way it's been my gate way out of this hell. I hope to come out renewed and energized out of this conflict no matter how long it takes.
God Bless
I recently went to a movie theater, I knew I'd hear the signs sooner or later being stuck in a stale air environment. Then came on the coughs and sniffis, I could smell myself and it wasn't pretty. Throughout the entire movie I felt like that but I stayed confident with my head up. That really helped the situation, I left the theatre feeling confident but knew people around me weren't comfortable, but I felt ok, instead of me being the victrim, I turned it all upside and made everything normal.
My social activies regarding people have been reduced to drinking alcohol and smoking ciggaretes, I think i will visit the gym more often even though I"m confident in my at home exercise routine, I think exercising in a gym is the best way since most people there are stuck on themselves instead of trying to pry into other people's business.
I'm currently experimenting on more natural cures.... Out of everything I've tried, exercise seems to give the most benefit. Maybe the stress relief is the reason, either way it's been my gate way out of this hell. I hope to come out renewed and energized out of this conflict no matter how long it takes.
God Bless
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goldenbrown
- Total Newbie
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 10:59 pm
My approach of getting comfortable around people is use any opportunity to let people know that i know that my breath stinks. I will create silly jokes like bringing down the building with my breath. We all laugh it of and life still goes on.
I choke when i get less chance to express myself and let people know I am aware of the problem.
I choke when i get less chance to express myself and let people know I am aware of the problem.
Hilarious. You have a good attitude about it!Bishop wrote:My approach of getting comfortable around people is use any opportunity to let people know that i know that my breath stinks. I will create silly jokes like bringing down the building with my breath. We all laugh it of and life still goes on.
