I went to a birthday party last night and it was a sleepover.
I had so much fun with my friends but my mom always tells me
that nobody likes me because I'm not outgoing or fun enough
to be liked. So I went to the party and it was really fun and it was
a sleepover. We talked alot about guys and people asked me if there
was a guy for me in life. But I never talk to guys even if I really want to
but I can't because of bb. So I lied to her that I'm not ready for a relation
ship... I was feeling confident and I thought my breath wasn't as bad
as before. So I was really happy and my breath got better.
But then this morning as I was about to leave and fold up my
sleeping bag, my friend who invited me to the birthday party gave
me a goodie bag. I was so happy because it said my name on it
and she told me she sprayed body spray on it to make it scented.
I felt so happy since the goodie bag looked like it was especially
designed for me. So I went in the car and was excited and I always like opening up goodie bags. So I opened it and I was extremely shocked. Inside was a pack of 5 gum and a small bottle of Crest mouthwash. At first, I tried to lie to myself that the mouthwash was really blue nailpolish remover. But then I took the bottle out of the pink goodie bag and I
almost cried. But since my parents were in the car, I held back my
tears. Then my mom asked me if she could see what's in the
goodie bag. Then I refused and she told me that was the reason why
people didn't like me. She said that why would you not let your mom
see what's in your goodie bag and I badly wanted to answer that
question. But I couldn't. I had a really great day yesterday and
today but my friend just ruined it. Our vacation just started and I thought
I was going to have a fun time but now I can't stop crying. Nothing's
making me feel better. I'm even scared to go to facebook to see if
my friend is online. And I have to talk to her tomorrow at church.
I really don't want to see her but my mom is going to be mad at me again.
And also I don't have that many friends or even one close friend
to talk to about my worries. I wish I had one.
INTERESTING AFFILIATE LINKS
DESTROY DEPRESSION
BAD BREATH FREE FOREVER
TEETH WHITENING 4 YOU
CANDIDA CRUSHER
HEARTBURN & ACID REFLUX REMEDY REPORT
I can't stop crying.
-
KeepTrying09
- Sheriff
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:14 pm
- Location: Thailand
All I can say is wow. So many people misunderstand bb, and what bb sufferers go through.
But just for the sake of giving your friend the benefit of the doubt, did you check if she gave the same gift to everyone who attended the sleepover? If she did then perhaps it was just a gag gift for everyone. If she gave only the gum and mouthwash to you, then yeah, I would say that was a very "direct" indirect way to tell someone that they had bad breath.
But you know Smiley, I have found that sometimes people can be cruel without even knowing they are being cruel. To your friend, perhaps she felt uncomfortable to talk to you directly about bb, so instead she thought that giving you gum and mouthwash would "cure" your bb. She might have thought that she was just trying to help you, with no malicious intent behind the gift. Maybe she doesn't realize that you know about your bb already, so in her mind she is just helping out a friend. I don't think that she purposely thought "I'm gonna invite her to my sleepover just so I can give her gum and mouthwash when she leaves so I can hurt her feelings and humiliate her." I don't think she thought that especially since you said you will meet her at church. Hopefully if she was a kind and compassionate Christian she wouldn't have had those thoughts in her mind.
Honestly though Smiley, I know it's hard to talk about bb because it's embarrassing. But if I were you, I would just ask my friend directly "Why did you give me gum and mouthwash at the party. Do you think I have bad breath?" I know it's easier said than done, but you really only have two options, confront it or ignore it. If you confront it then your friend might understand what you are going through and stop doing things that inadvertently offend you. If you ignore it then your friend will not change her behavior, and you will continue to get the same treatment from her.
Regarding your mom, I'm sorry that she tells you nobody likes you. Don't believe that, and don't let her tell you things like that anymore. Just tune her out when she starts saying things like that.
But just for the sake of giving your friend the benefit of the doubt, did you check if she gave the same gift to everyone who attended the sleepover? If she did then perhaps it was just a gag gift for everyone. If she gave only the gum and mouthwash to you, then yeah, I would say that was a very "direct" indirect way to tell someone that they had bad breath.
But you know Smiley, I have found that sometimes people can be cruel without even knowing they are being cruel. To your friend, perhaps she felt uncomfortable to talk to you directly about bb, so instead she thought that giving you gum and mouthwash would "cure" your bb. She might have thought that she was just trying to help you, with no malicious intent behind the gift. Maybe she doesn't realize that you know about your bb already, so in her mind she is just helping out a friend. I don't think that she purposely thought "I'm gonna invite her to my sleepover just so I can give her gum and mouthwash when she leaves so I can hurt her feelings and humiliate her." I don't think she thought that especially since you said you will meet her at church. Hopefully if she was a kind and compassionate Christian she wouldn't have had those thoughts in her mind.
Honestly though Smiley, I know it's hard to talk about bb because it's embarrassing. But if I were you, I would just ask my friend directly "Why did you give me gum and mouthwash at the party. Do you think I have bad breath?" I know it's easier said than done, but you really only have two options, confront it or ignore it. If you confront it then your friend might understand what you are going through and stop doing things that inadvertently offend you. If you ignore it then your friend will not change her behavior, and you will continue to get the same treatment from her.
Regarding your mom, I'm sorry that she tells you nobody likes you. Don't believe that, and don't let her tell you things like that anymore. Just tune her out when she starts saying things like that.
Smiley - Take it from a 38 yr. old woman that has been dealing with bb since she was 18 - Take advantage of this opportunity and tell your friend that you know that you have bb and that you are trying desperately to find the cure. People are much more understanding when they know that you know and that it is not a case of bad hygeine. I am almost positive that she was trying to help you out, but went about it the wrong way. If she stays your friend then you will have made a great friend. Believe me, I have weeded out some pretty awful, potential friends with this breath. The ones that have stuck around are gems. I finally let each one know about my problem at different times so they would stop offering me gum and mints. It is so heartbreaking to be offerred gum and mints in the middle of talking - it angers me immensely!
If I were you I would say, "Hey, about the goody bag, were you trying to tell me something?" And take it from there. If she says no, just say, "Oh because I do have a bb problem and I am trying to find the cure, but it has been tough." Let her know that it has been eating you up inside.
That sucks about your mom. I have told my mom and she says she cannot smell it, but she believes me. I was 30 when I told her though. Had I been a teen she may have blown me off. My hubby cannot smell it either. I met him when I had a 2 yr. period without bb. I was exercising and taking vit c a lot. Then, I got pregnant and my bb came back 100x worse. I know I have bb. I am not a psycho, believe me! I have had more experiences like yours then anyone deserves. And I taught 4th grade - those kids were brutal!!! I used to cry A LOT like you. Now I am hardened. I sometimes want people to smell my bb. Like the other day there was this slow cashier asking everyone strange questions so, when I got to the counter I blasted him with my sewage breath and he about killed over. He shut up real fast - it was priceless!
I take comfort in knowing I am not alone and try to focus on all the blessings I have - starting with the essentials - shelter, food, clothes, all my working body parts, ect. I think of how many people in the world would kill to be me, bb and all. This is what helps me through the tough days. Also, I think of what my granny told me - she had read somewhere that people with bb are actually healthier than the average Joe because their bodies produce more of the sulferic bacteria that fight off foreign bacteria when breaking down food. This helps me feel superior.
I will never stop looking for a cure, yet I try not to let it rule my thoughts. I take breaks every now and then. I chew A LOT of Eclipes gum and mints and take breath assure and chlorophyll. This seems to lessen the reactions.
Hang in there and remember - you are not alone...
Hugs!
T
If I were you I would say, "Hey, about the goody bag, were you trying to tell me something?" And take it from there. If she says no, just say, "Oh because I do have a bb problem and I am trying to find the cure, but it has been tough." Let her know that it has been eating you up inside.
That sucks about your mom. I have told my mom and she says she cannot smell it, but she believes me. I was 30 when I told her though. Had I been a teen she may have blown me off. My hubby cannot smell it either. I met him when I had a 2 yr. period without bb. I was exercising and taking vit c a lot. Then, I got pregnant and my bb came back 100x worse. I know I have bb. I am not a psycho, believe me! I have had more experiences like yours then anyone deserves. And I taught 4th grade - those kids were brutal!!! I used to cry A LOT like you. Now I am hardened. I sometimes want people to smell my bb. Like the other day there was this slow cashier asking everyone strange questions so, when I got to the counter I blasted him with my sewage breath and he about killed over. He shut up real fast - it was priceless!
I take comfort in knowing I am not alone and try to focus on all the blessings I have - starting with the essentials - shelter, food, clothes, all my working body parts, ect. I think of how many people in the world would kill to be me, bb and all. This is what helps me through the tough days. Also, I think of what my granny told me - she had read somewhere that people with bb are actually healthier than the average Joe because their bodies produce more of the sulferic bacteria that fight off foreign bacteria when breaking down food. This helps me feel superior.
I will never stop looking for a cure, yet I try not to let it rule my thoughts. I take breaks every now and then. I chew A LOT of Eclipes gum and mints and take breath assure and chlorophyll. This seems to lessen the reactions.
Hang in there and remember - you are not alone...
Hugs!
T
Sleepovers/spending nights over at friends house is always difficult people dont seem to understand and whenever you stay over at friends houses the food you tend to eat makes BB worse (pizza chips etc) Im not sure how old you are? (whether your old enough to drink) but alchohol really makes it worse as well and makes you feel cut off from other people at the party in the mornings.
not talking to guys either (girls in my case!) is really true as well, quite a few times girls have shown interest or been quite foward but I havent been able to really get as close as I want to for fear of driving them away. I have slept with girls before (only two) but it really is difficult with bb
anyway just saying I feel your pain
not talking to guys either (girls in my case!) is really true as well, quite a few times girls have shown interest or been quite foward but I havent been able to really get as close as I want to for fear of driving them away. I have slept with girls before (only two) but it really is difficult with bb
anyway just saying I feel your pain
-
clelandjones
- Newbie
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2009 7:54 pm
Damn yeah that is hard. I really feel for you and can't believe people think it's fine to treat you, me and other sufferers like this. As KeepTrying09 said, check and see if any of your friends got the same as you. It could of been a joke but if she was doing that to in-directly tell you something... that is low.
