All too familiar

[solitude]

Hi,

I only found this site a few days ago. Wouldn't normally sign up but thought i'd give it a go.

Reading other stories is so surreal. It's like you guys have been watching me suffer on my own and shared my thoughts for me, if that makes any sense. I couldn't imagine anyone going through the same things as me but although I wouldn't wish this feeling upon anyone it's just such a relief to know that others suffer the same things.

First noticed when i was about 13 when a friend told me, and ever since i have constantly chewed gum. 10 years later and it's been getting worse, which has led me here.

I have a strange tongue...slightly fissured but not as bad as some of the pictures that google images will return. I have always thought that my BB must be related to it but i could wash my mouth constantly and it horrible feeling will be back once the mint has faded.

It's nice to see some people have found cures but, although negative, i don't think there is a cure for me. I've led a fairly social life up to now, even had a (hot) girlfriend for about 2 years who never mentioned it to me. I know i am good at hiding it sometimes, but surely not that good. Sometimes i look at this time and think, maybe i am just being paranoid, but i know that is just wishful thinking.

I get those white spots at the back of my tongue, and wake up with a coating in the morning.

Now, this comment from a friend came before i took up the lifestyle which consumed my early teens of a lot of drinking and a lot of pot smoking. Now i rarely drink but smoke at least 3 joints a day. I don't smoke cigarettes and have gone like a month without smoking before with no difference. Like others that come on here, while not horribly skinny, i'm quite lightweight and struggle to put weight on through eating but have no problem with exercise or my metabolism. I think food just passes through me quicker than in most.

My thinking is, that my tongue is at fault. You can appreciate with a cracked tongue, scraping or brushing isn't exactly great. Part of me thinks that over the years of chewing gum constantly i've made things worse. What was once requiring 1 packet to last a full day, now sometimes i feel i need 2 packets on standby just to get me through to lunch.

I am a good looking guy (or so i'm told) but don't have much luck with the ladies. A total lack of confidence, lack of conversation and as a result i think i come across as, to paraphrase someone else on here, cold or moody. This is the part that gets to me the most. I'm starting to get really lonely without a girl by my side and just can't see any way of getting back into that swing. I don't really want to stop any of the things i enjoy doing which just makes me more depressed. I've thought about ending it all before. It's an extreme thing to say but it is even more extreme thinking it. I've told myself that would be extremely stupid and hence i am still here and have no plans on leaving. I've got myself out of worse situations, while this BB was all going on in the background. I'm really fed up though. Although i don't want to end it, i scarily have no issues with someone or something else taking it away.

Most of the time when i see other people getting on with their lives in a positive way doing the things i stop myself doing, i just feel like if i didn't have this problem i'd be able to do the same things.

Sorry for rambling. This post started as a way of getting this of my chest and it's just turned into a moan. The last part about life isn't for attention which I think you all understand. But I kept it there because, to repeat myself, hearing other people say things that i was and am feeling was really positive for me. The girl who ran out after her appointment crying, cried on the way home, and cried when she got home. To me that's just so real, and again i stress, i don't take pleasure in your pain, but the emotion is just so similar.

Anyway, thanks for reading if you got this far. I imagine if anyone does respond to me they will tell me to stop the smoking pot. If anyone reads this and doesn't respond then I am still grateful for that. I stress for the last time, that just knowing this community has a bigger population than just me, means a whole lot.

[halitosisux]

Hi solitude. As sad as it is, its good to find there are other people going thru the same, and who you know can empathise. For so many years I thought I must be the only person in the world going thru this lonely agony because of something as STUPID as bad breath, since most people with it dont even realise they have it and just get on with life oblivious - even if people drop them hints or yell at them that they stink, its as if they are in some kind of denial - and good for them, because BB is actually only a problem for those who are subjected to it, and those who have the evil inside them who chose to make it into OUR problem. And unfortunately, some of us are vulnerable and susceptible to those evil people and this is where the whole rut begins.

I can empaphise with so much of what you've said, and the emotions which we all go through. To watch everyone around you getting on with their life while all yours seems to be about is surviving it.

Actually, it took me a number of years to realise that BB was at the crux of everything that felt wrong in my life. For years in my late teens and before the internet opened up a whole new world of knowledge, my whole life seemed to be heading off on the wrong track. I could sense myself slipping deeper into this skewed world with each day that passed. I could write a whole book on how my life was changing at that time, all relating to my own self-imposed isolation. And although reading everyone's story on here can have the negative effect of making you believe even deeper that you'll never get out of your situation, the chances are that as long as you keep trying, you WILL succeed in identifying the cause of your BB. There is always hope while there are new things to try.