My Diary, Yup, here it be

[hopelessone]

My Diary. Yup, here it be.

This is it. I'm gonna plunk it right here. The place where i vent, sputter, fume, and try to put together the pieces of this mystery enemy of mine, hiding in the shadows, and wreaking havoc with my mind, spirit, and body.

I don't know HOW this monstrosity started. What a horror it is. Sneaky onerous intruder.

I may have candida. I took the "spit test". Yeah, my spit in that glass of water started having these loooong tendrils, like one o' those really big jellyfish .......

Sooooo i started oil pulling yesterday with coconut oil, and just did it again after i got up, before eating anything. Yup, there be the tendrils....but maybe not as bad as yesterday.

[hopelessone]

So i got the Crest regular toothpaste, Closys mouth wash, Listerine mouth wash, and Act mouth wash. Started Dr Ellie's program today. I'm also eating the coconut oil, and oil pulling with it.

This morning i oil pulled with grapeseed oil. The coconut oil is great, but it tastes a lot like movie theatre butter...kinda rich. I wanted something more neutral tasting this morning.

i'm going to spit in a glass of water to see if my spit has bigger tendrils, the same, or less.

ok, the spit is just mildly bubbly,,,,but maybe that's because i ate a teasoonful of coconut oil about 45 min ago.....

there's no tendrils, at all.

i'll try this again in the morning, after i get up. Right now it's 2:38am.

G'nite.

[hopelessone]

Ok, around 9am i got up and checked the glass.....only a couple very small tendrils were in there. I just spit in there again, and whoop, there they be, those loooong tendrils hangin down from the spit that stays at the top of the water.

i'm oil pulling right now with coconut oil.

You know what i think about sometimes? How furious i am with the sawwwy medical community who IGNORE this horrendous malady. What an ignoble and downright negligent and incompetent thing to do.

if i had the funds, i'd start a foundation to raise money and award money to those scientists researching every aspect of this horror and thus developing remedies to deal with the root causes of this hell.

[hopelessone]

it boggles me mind, how family sooooooooooooooooooo does NOT have a clue. Seriously. You would think FAMILY would at least have a BIT of a clue........but nooooooooooooo!

[hopelessone]

i am seriously thinking of starting a club for sufferers afflicted with severe bb.

THEY will be my family, my friends, my world.

[hopelessone]

i'm convinced the most damage and devastation is done to our psyche with this horror of a curse. It's almost like we are the opposing magnet in a world of polar opposites. it's indescribable. it is also a miscarriage of the medical community's vows to NOT address it. It's like ignoring the giant pink elephant in the middle of the room. The blatant denial that the medical community practices is immoral and should be dealt with.

Hellooooooooo! Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

[hopelessone]

SHAME on the medical community for not addressing this..ugh! There is a DESPERATE NEED for counselors, therapists, career counselors, company builders, lawyers to legally claim this disorder as a medical disability, advocates who would FIGHT the nonsense that sufferers deal with day in and day out, 24-7.

Isn't there even a newsletter for sufferers started by those suffering or who have recovered??!!!

This is ridiculous.

[hopelessone]

i joined a site a while back...i think it's called badbreath4u, or sumthin' like that.

All the while, i'm wonderin what good they possibly are. There was NO venting, or "real talk" about the horrors of this. It was like milk-toast. Made me wanna barf.

We NEED honest-to-goodness communication that gets to the nitty gritty and is HONEST and transparent.

Dealing with this malady, well ya need to VENT. Geeeeesh!!!! and if the site is FOR those suffering in indescribable ways, THAT is where ya vent.
Hellooooooooooooo!!!!!

What GOOD is it if ya can't vent? Huh???!!!

What a crock of a site.

[hopelessone]

yeah, me again...

got the xylitol....have been oil pulling....followed the female doctor's (dentist) program from her website....

and my breath is abominable...

i may have gum disease...the periodontist was s'posed to call me late Sept and she didn't...

i eat healthy...except for yesterday...just HAD to have KFC with a Pepsi and fries and a biscuit...it was sooooooo good....(it was AGES since i had KFC or anything like i used to eat)

An ig'nant family member of mine coughs whenever i am in his presence...to day he was sputtering...so i finally just came out with it and told him i knew why he was coughing...that it's my breath...the weasel lied and says it's cause he has a cold...

nevertheless, i kept talking to him just to spite him and i enjoyed every minute of it and ignored his sputters and talked even more, directing my comversation directly to him, asking him questions.....i was relentless

bwaaahaaahaaaa!

[hopelessone]

there's a movie out called "Despicable Me", isn't there?

i may adopt it as my new nickname

[brightonguy]

nevertheless, i kept talking to him just to spite him and i enjoyed every minute of it and ignored his sputters and talked even more, directing my comversation directly to him, asking him questions.....i was relentless

bwaaahaaahaaaa!

I reckon this is a great thing to do, it's a win-win. If he is coughing because he is ill and you don't have bad breath then it makes no difference if you talk at his face but if he is a lying rude weasel who uses your BB to subordinate you by reacting so badly and lying to your face about why then he deserves to be exposed to your BB. Stay strong hopelessone, find some hope, find some positives that come out of this affliction.... think about what you've learnt about the lack of humanity in some people and how others have been kinder to you... if you didn't have BB then you may never realise the true nature of some people.... it's a good way of flitering out dumbass rude insensitive fools! Peace.

[hopelessone]

LOL thanks. What boggles me mind, is that i'm NOT judgemental of others, no matter HOW disgusting they are. I loathe kicking people when they're down, and i'm usually the one rising to their defense.

This bb is relentless. What a bully.

[brightonguy]

We sound similar in that respect, I like to think I've always judged people on their personality. That makes the BB at least a bit easier to deal with right? Knowing that YOU wouldn't judge yourself if you were someone else.

[Phantasist]

Hopelessone,
It seems that your diary isn't working very well. And you're becoming unhinged. We all know the psychological pressure this condition puts on us and the continuous suffering it produces. But deliberately blowing your breath into someone's face is not the answer. First of all, it can't possibly do any good, and secondly, some people will not tell you that you have bad breath simply because they don't want you to feel bad (embarrassed, humiliated).
It might be more productive, if you would try to determine the cause of your breath odor. We have seen in this forum that there are many different causes (sinus, wisdom teeth, tonsils, periodontitis, stomach, lungs, intestines, etc.) Sometimes the body can give you a clue as to what's wrong. For instance, if you had a sinus infection, you would probably have sinus headaches and excessive PND. If you had partially impacted wisdom teeth, you would know that also. And if you had too much of the wrong bacteria in your intestines, you might have very irregular bowel movements or some abdominal distress.
Try to zero in on what the underlying problem might be. If you don't know the actual cause of the bad breath, how can you possibly eliminate it?

[hopelessone]

i didn't "blow" my breath in anyone's face, i merely kept talking to him. and made it a point to. This person i kept speaking to is ig'nant. This ig'nance comes as natural to him as breathing.