Im doomed and I cant take it anymore

meowkity1 · Post by **meowkity1** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:11 pm

I dont know what to do anymore but lately Iv been having a lot of visions of just giving in and dying. One minute I feel fine, and the next I dont. I want a normal life. I thought my nasal fart was gone but it must still be here. Last week I got my teeth cleaned like I do every 5 months, and the dentists dont seem to notice anything in my mouth that could cause it, he even said maybe its your nose if you have sinusitis. I do have sinusitis, but would that really cause people to sneeze, cough, rub and walk away from you. After I get my teeth cleaned I feel quite fresh and polished but it only seems to last a day. Im still putting acid on my tongue to get rid of the tongue coating/hairy tongue and these white hairs grow baqck within a week and bretah is worse and travels farther. I do get some relief when I do the acid, but i cant keep poisoning myself. Two days after cleaning last week, I took my sons skating. Another mom was sitting down knitting. I went and sat across from her, and she sneezed and left to sit on the other side of the room. Now this is with my mouth closed. I go to visit my aunt in the hospital and was talking to her and someone started having a sneezing attack in the hallway. Then my aunt says, "have you ever tried a tongue scraper? I say "yes, a scraper, tongue brush, and all other sorts of things. I didnt bring up my bb, but she did. The wierdest thing is that since getting tonsils out, I dont even taste or sense anything stinky, and actually for awhile was living kind of decently. Im venting right now because its so fricking frustrating that I am not lazy, I brush my teeth 3 times a day and go to the dentist every 5 months instead of 6 and I still have to live like this. I truly cannot take it anymore. I worked two years on a degree and I feel like I cannot even go back to work. My mouth is always dry, sticky, hot but I dont taste fecal or poo. Im tired of living like this. Im at the computer right now but I just looked over at my neice and nephew and my nephew sneezed, and my 3 month old niece woke up out of her sleep and rubbed her nose, and this is with my mouth closed. I feel reuly helpless. I WANT MY ****ing LIFE BACK

mike987 · Post by **mike987** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:48 pm

I'm about there myself...

I was speaking with my father a little bit ago. I said I would like to visit.. but asked if he could help me with some doctors appointments and things if I came home and visited.. This is me reaching out for help Dad.. And he says I can't, because I have no insurance... And he's right, it would be so expensive.

I don't even know what I'm looking for... I just need help. I need some help and some direction and a reason to think this is ever going to stop.

If there's no way I can begin to try to solve this again, why should I even visit home? So I can embarrass myself in front of everyone? It's excruciating.. it's cruel. It's disgusting and weird and it logically makes no sense.

Why can't I close my eyes and wake up, and be someone else, somewhere else.. Or not be sick??? It feels like a nightmare, so why does it just keep going and going and going, every second of every day, the same shit, the same worries.. the same brief satisfactions shutdown by something that seems completely counter productive to being human.

I'm not saying I'd do it, but if anyone's arranging a group s*****e I kind of want to be there with them.

Shit4Breath · Post by **Shit4Breath** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:18 pm

I totally feel you guys pain. It's the holiday season again and while the world is preparing for feasts, black friday, gifts, and Xmas decorations we are thinking of ways to hide our bb just to make it through another painful family gathering or if you are like me thinking of excuses to get out of them. Every year around this time is so painful to me because I can never get into the holiday spirit with everyone else. I have not celebrated the holidays merrily since 2007. Though my life now I feel is a complete waste, my faith will not allow me to give up. I keep waiting on the lid to open and a stream light to cast down upon my face, illuminating me in this dark pit I feel I've been living in for sometime. It gets harder and harder but faith is all I have to hang on to now.

DanielPine · Post by **DanielPine** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:50 pm

I know meowkitty, it sucks so bad.

Im only 16 years old and I have to wake up knowing that there is like a 5% chance that I will be cured. I have to live knowing that I will never have a wife or kids, and i will be lonely when im older. I cant get a girlfriend now

and i probably never will, im assuming my parents will think im gay because of this

. I feel like my life is such a waste. I hate when my family lie to me, this is the worst thing about bad breath. My own parents and sister lie to me whenever I ask them about it, even my asshole freinds tell me i have it, but my parents cant! Im angry at them for letting me suffer and also very confused. Its going to be a rough life when I finish growing up, so im trying to have as much fun as a teen as possible. I am honestly very scared mewkitty, im afraid

dick.karma · Post by **dick.karma** » Sun Dec 02, 2012 5:03 pm

i just cant let myself "disappear" since I love my parents and my brothers. It will be a lonely christmas for me again