Im only human

[menthol]

ive been a lurker on this website for few years now, although i seldom go to this site lately.. This is quite long..

my story:
i was a mouth breather during my childhood till my uni days.I was always aware of bad breath but im not sure if i even had bad breath. No one had ever complain about my breath.

One day a lecturer was talking about cleanliness (the topic was about hygiene). He made me and few friends as examples of how to clean our body. My friend who had curly hair that time was associated with shampoo,another who had very mild body odor was associated with soap and i was associated with brushing teeth. Actually he was making fun of us and although it made the class laugh it did brought tears to my heart.

My life was never the same after that. I learned to breathe with my nose and control my breathing when i talk. I learned about tongue cleaning when i was searching for bad breath. I become self aware of how i smell. I lost confident in myself and I become too sensitive about peoples reaction.

I see friends started to talk behind my back, coughing, moving back abit, rubbing noses and covering their noses when talking to me.Its obvious now that i have bad breath. I felt that friends now become enemies.

I was feeling down. I started to spend less time with friends. Lectures and tutorials were my worst nightmare. Sitting close with people during class scared the sh*t out of me. Sometimes i would skip class because of it.

After graduate, i switched jobs. It was all temporary anyways. I worked as a waiter, clerk, kitchen helper. None lasts more than a month. I cant cope with reactions from others. It really made me weak inside.

I have been a primary teacher for nearly 10 years now. Kids always tell the truth but i never heard them say anything about my breath. My bad breath never fill a room. Teachers and parents show signs about my bad breath.

I am much stronger now as I age. I dont hurt easily like in the past. I used to hate people who make fun of me behind my back. Now i try to accept it with an open heart. I know its not their fault and I know I have done my best to cure my bad breath.

Some of the 'best' few reactions that i get are:
-Teacher sprays air freshener as soon as i enter the classroom
-Teacher making sure to rub her nose when she passes me although i pretend not seeing it which i think pisses her off and then will make fake coughs
-Teacher rubbing nose whenever he/she sees me looking at him/her
-Teacher talks loudly about film stars that have yellow teeth and says that they dont brush their teeth while looking at me
-Teacher talking to me about their member of family that had bad body odor and bad breath which lessen with the use of some type of supplement
-Teacher talks about once there was a teacher who never took a bath/shower and his pupils didnt want to enter his class because of his smell
-Being offered pop corn by a stranger when watching movie
-Teacher randomly talking about brushing teeth with a smelly drain when walking with me while passing a smelly drain
-Friend status shows that 'you smell like cat shit'

Those examples did not come from the same person. It clearly shows that I have bad breath although i was never been told directly about my bad breath.

Some things that i try but doesnt seem to work:
-use of different types of toothpaste and different types of mouthwash
-hydrogen peroxide as a mouthwash
-baking soda as a mouthwash or toothpaste or both
-soap as a toothpaste ( once for experimenting purpose only)
-taking black seed supplement
-taking probiotic pills
-taking virgin coconut oil
-taking garlic pills with the thought of killing candida
-taking b-complex mixed with vitamin c pills
-eating honey
-liquid chlorophyll
-milk thistle pill

I had seen a doctor and few dentist about my bad breath which they recommends using listerine mouthwash. After few research on the net, I then took out two lower wisdom teeth through operation. My breath did not get better.

I was a smoker and still am. I know smoker will have bad breath and bad body odor but my friends never had any except for the ashtray/smoke smell. They did not have reactions from others from my observation. Smokers breath smells like smoke and not nasty like sh*t.

I am still doing my routine with brushing teeth, mouth and cleaning the tongue with normal toothpaste at least 3 times a day.Not using mouthwash anymore because sometimes it just gets worst. Now Im taking magnesium pills and zinc pills. Im not confident that it will work but at least I am not giving up yet.

I have not taken TMAU test. I dont know where my bad breath comes from,maybe its leaky gut, my lungs or from my mouth. Even after washing my face when i rub my nose crest, it smells like sh*t although my mouth smells like toothpaste after brushing which doesnt last long.

Hopefully we will be free from this problem soon. No matter how people treat you, try to give back kindness. God knows everything we do, maybe some day all this problem will go away, Amiin!