Well, i have a good friend who knows i have BB, and i want to discuss it with her. boz i dont wnat her to think its bcoz of bad oral hygeine, as most people think
She has never said any thing or given any bad reaction, which makes me want to discuss it with her, but i dont want to put her in an situation where she feels uncomfortable. I maybe over arection and she may be OK discussing it, but i dont know!
Has nayone else discussed it with friends, family, partners, and how did you go about bring it up?
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How can i discuss it?
Tell her you went to see a dentist and mentioned your bb problem. He said everythin was ok. I hoped he didn't say that, but he said that there nothing wrong. I had hoped he could tell me what was causing my bb. He asked me how many times I brushed my teeth. I said about 3 to 5 times a day, because I know I have bb.
(This may eliminate her thoughts of it being caused by bad oral hygiene)
Then you tell her that you went to see a doctor next, and he said that the smell might be coming from the stomach. He gave me some medicines, but it didn't really help. I'm really confused right now, cause I thought that doctors should be able to tell what is causing it. But right now I'm really nervous and afraid to say anything because of my bb.
If you don't feel comfortable discussing this problem with her face to face, maybe you should try IM.
Well this is just what I would say...but I don't think someone would really care for some reason. That's why I don't think I would ever discuss it with anyone.
(This may eliminate her thoughts of it being caused by bad oral hygiene)
Then you tell her that you went to see a doctor next, and he said that the smell might be coming from the stomach. He gave me some medicines, but it didn't really help. I'm really confused right now, cause I thought that doctors should be able to tell what is causing it. But right now I'm really nervous and afraid to say anything because of my bb.
If you don't feel comfortable discussing this problem with her face to face, maybe you should try IM.
Well this is just what I would say...but I don't think someone would really care for some reason. That's why I don't think I would ever discuss it with anyone.
hi findacure! hi all guys. i'm new here and this is my first post, findacure i think you don't have to directly discuss it with her, how about if you send him an email with a link to this forum specially the personal stories, it realy tells a lot, maybe more than you can say. yet it is all copy of all of our painful stories, don't you agree??!
Last edited by Ahmad on Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:18 am, edited 2 times in total.
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emotional rescue
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Hi findacure,
Just tell her, but not by the net or email, meet with her, and make sure you got plenty time to talk, cause one´s you start to talk about it, you will feel the need to tell her about this and all that you were keeping deep in you most of you can.... You will experience some kind of catharsis, and it will give you so much relief to let go all this things....
Also is probably that if this friend really loves you, she will feel even more next to you, cause our stories are so sad, and anybody can feel related to the effort that we do to keep our head up in life and keep being nice to everybody and be a good person....
Also, don´t stop there. Look for a psicologist, i´m looking to this for me right now. There´s a heavy psichologycal problem underlying in bb problems and that´s the soooo lower self autosteem that we all have. We all are our worst judges, we all are so hard we ourselves, and that´s why it´s so hard to get better. We are soooo outstandig about what the other people would say about us that we aren´t available to find mind relief for even 5 minutes.
And all this can be changed. Not the fisical part of the problem. But this psicologycal part. This is something that is common not just to people with bb, but to all kind of people with phobias or some autosteem disorders like bulimia, anorexia, and all kind of phobias. Panick attacks are psicologycal problems too.
Well, this all happens with bb too, and although we have a real fisical problem, this psicologycal problem also exists and it starts to grow and take control of all aspects of your like as you feel you´re not been available to find a relief. And it´s maybe worst that bb itself.
We need to wash our heads and start all over. And in life with possitive thoughts and feelings. It´s the only way to have a meaningfull life as we hang on for a cure, that will be there in a couple of years for sure. Also, a possitive attitude that it helped me so much in this dark years was to convinced myself that there will be a cure for this in the future and i have to prepare myself most of i can to be ready to get the best of those years taking the best of them. Like a project.. And that´s how i get the strenght to go to college and get my title, learn guitar, fill me with knowledge of all kind that i feel that could lead me to be a more complete and better person....to do the effort that not live like an hermit and althougt it´s psicologycal hard hanging around, keep seeying my friends..... we have to fight for our lives! and keep searching for a cure also. But in a possitive way.
Findacure, i talk my problem with my dad, and with my mother. With my mother i also break down in tears. Other time i strated to scream to her all kind of things cause she didn´t believe me and all this stuff (cause i always try to seem a normal guy, who has no problem) But the weight is sooooo much....we have to tell our problem to our loved ones, and admit and let them know that we aren´t perfect....that we have a problem that we can´t fix. and that we need help...and maybe compassion.....
This change of mind is very difficult to do, but it´s not impossible. Im´working on this for many years, and some times i´m better and sometimes worst, but we can go better facing the problem and making of this bb problem not a taboo anymore.
Not any psicologyst would be available to help us with this complex problem, just the same way not every ENT or doctor can helps us with the fisical part of the problem. Cause they are people too and they aren´t perfect either. But some of them can, try to look for people to seem to have the facility te be relate to the others, so a reasonable psicologist could give you a big hand. as you start to let go out all this years of psicologycal opression....
good luck to all
and stay possitive
Just tell her, but not by the net or email, meet with her, and make sure you got plenty time to talk, cause one´s you start to talk about it, you will feel the need to tell her about this and all that you were keeping deep in you most of you can.... You will experience some kind of catharsis, and it will give you so much relief to let go all this things....
Also is probably that if this friend really loves you, she will feel even more next to you, cause our stories are so sad, and anybody can feel related to the effort that we do to keep our head up in life and keep being nice to everybody and be a good person....
Also, don´t stop there. Look for a psicologist, i´m looking to this for me right now. There´s a heavy psichologycal problem underlying in bb problems and that´s the soooo lower self autosteem that we all have. We all are our worst judges, we all are so hard we ourselves, and that´s why it´s so hard to get better. We are soooo outstandig about what the other people would say about us that we aren´t available to find mind relief for even 5 minutes.
And all this can be changed. Not the fisical part of the problem. But this psicologycal part. This is something that is common not just to people with bb, but to all kind of people with phobias or some autosteem disorders like bulimia, anorexia, and all kind of phobias. Panick attacks are psicologycal problems too.
Well, this all happens with bb too, and although we have a real fisical problem, this psicologycal problem also exists and it starts to grow and take control of all aspects of your like as you feel you´re not been available to find a relief. And it´s maybe worst that bb itself.
We need to wash our heads and start all over. And in life with possitive thoughts and feelings. It´s the only way to have a meaningfull life as we hang on for a cure, that will be there in a couple of years for sure. Also, a possitive attitude that it helped me so much in this dark years was to convinced myself that there will be a cure for this in the future and i have to prepare myself most of i can to be ready to get the best of those years taking the best of them. Like a project.. And that´s how i get the strenght to go to college and get my title, learn guitar, fill me with knowledge of all kind that i feel that could lead me to be a more complete and better person....to do the effort that not live like an hermit and althougt it´s psicologycal hard hanging around, keep seeying my friends..... we have to fight for our lives! and keep searching for a cure also. But in a possitive way.
Findacure, i talk my problem with my dad, and with my mother. With my mother i also break down in tears. Other time i strated to scream to her all kind of things cause she didn´t believe me and all this stuff (cause i always try to seem a normal guy, who has no problem) But the weight is sooooo much....we have to tell our problem to our loved ones, and admit and let them know that we aren´t perfect....that we have a problem that we can´t fix. and that we need help...and maybe compassion.....
This change of mind is very difficult to do, but it´s not impossible. Im´working on this for many years, and some times i´m better and sometimes worst, but we can go better facing the problem and making of this bb problem not a taboo anymore.
Not any psicologyst would be available to help us with this complex problem, just the same way not every ENT or doctor can helps us with the fisical part of the problem. Cause they are people too and they aren´t perfect either. But some of them can, try to look for people to seem to have the facility te be relate to the others, so a reasonable psicologist could give you a big hand. as you start to let go out all this years of psicologycal opression....
good luck to all
and stay possitive
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Jimi Stein
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my suggestion is that if you did not have sex with her do not tell her
That happened to me with my first gfr, we dated 1 month and almost had sex, I was afraid and she figured it out it was my first time and later i told her about my bb. " days later a note waited me in the front door - that she is left.
The next time I was more careful. First I had sex with them, then when wefall in love I told her and cried like a baby, it was really hard for me. She stick with me, but the love was not so strong if I would not tell her, but keepng that from her was no possible.
She cheated on me also. The next chick the same, I told her after 3month, I was really in love and she also.
I cried again, she did not left me, but I got such a pain in my penis like an infection so she had to go ***k somebody after that. I almost left her.
YOu jsut know if a girl really loves you or not, you feel the vibe, you somehow know what is happening with her, and I knew she was cheating again.
THe third gfr I did not tell at all but my mother did I think.
The next one I almost did, but decided not to, but I brake up with her becauseshe was agressive. But she was a nice person.
If I look back I do not regret anything, I had wonderful girls and the love is i guess not perfect. They cheat and you can not do anything.
It seems so that if a girl knows you can not cheat because of bb she will do it. It is a woman menthality .
I mean I had really hot chicks that were really hot and everybody was picking on them. Every man wanted to ***k them
So my suggestion is the few people know about it more chances you wil lget to find a girl. The best is not to tell her at all, but if you must wait till you fall in love and you have sex for soem time.
If you did not have sex she wil probably dump you.
Sorry for the girls on this forum if I offended them, but the reality is like that
That happened to me with my first gfr, we dated 1 month and almost had sex, I was afraid and she figured it out it was my first time and later i told her about my bb. " days later a note waited me in the front door - that she is left.
The next time I was more careful. First I had sex with them, then when wefall in love I told her and cried like a baby, it was really hard for me. She stick with me, but the love was not so strong if I would not tell her, but keepng that from her was no possible.
She cheated on me also. The next chick the same, I told her after 3month, I was really in love and she also.
I cried again, she did not left me, but I got such a pain in my penis like an infection so she had to go ***k somebody after that. I almost left her.
YOu jsut know if a girl really loves you or not, you feel the vibe, you somehow know what is happening with her, and I knew she was cheating again.
THe third gfr I did not tell at all but my mother did I think.
The next one I almost did, but decided not to, but I brake up with her becauseshe was agressive. But she was a nice person.
If I look back I do not regret anything, I had wonderful girls and the love is i guess not perfect. They cheat and you can not do anything.
It seems so that if a girl knows you can not cheat because of bb she will do it. It is a woman menthality .
I mean I had really hot chicks that were really hot and everybody was picking on them. Every man wanted to ***k them
So my suggestion is the few people know about it more chances you wil lget to find a girl. The best is not to tell her at all, but if you must wait till you fall in love and you have sex for soem time.
If you did not have sex she wil probably dump you.
Sorry for the girls on this forum if I offended them, but the reality is like that
It is well said. I also think the psicologycal issue is worst than the BB itself. For the couple of months I have been really paranoic that nothing else matters than what people are going to think about my BB. Many times I had to say no to invitations just because of this problem. Today, I cried a lot when I had to talk a little about my problem with my ex-boyfriend on the phone. Since he is now my best friend, we always tell each other our problems. He was the one who rose this subject because I mentioned some months ago that I want to do a TMAU test. He said that he could not understand what I was talking about because he could not smell anything bad from me. Then he asked me if this is why I used not to kiss him in the morning. I said yes. Then he said that maybe he has a serious problem with his sense of smell because he could not smell anything. When I said to him that my husband can smell me from time to time, then he almost believe I was saying the truth. Oh, I cried so much that he decided to change the subject. It is like that when I decide to tell someone about this problem. Even with doctors I cry when they ask me question to personal or questions that remember how sad is to live with such problem. I really do not know if my ex-boyfriend was telling the truth or he wanted to make me feel better or he really has problem with sense of smell.emotional rescue wrote: this psicologycal problem also exists and it starts to grow and take control of all aspects of your like as you feel you´re not been available to find a relief. And it´s maybe worst that bb itself.
by the way. when i said you send her a link of this forum i didn't mean to make of this bb problem a taboo. am myself told 2 of my best friends, plus my mother and of course so many many doctors. And bleive me nothing has changed, i mean they already know about it, let's not be stupid to assume that our close family and friend doesn't know about it. they do. what they don't know is that how serious is it, and how bad you're feeling because of it .... and you don't have to try hard convincing them that it is not due to your carelessness, they wil not believe you. the only way you can convince them this problem is a serious one by showing them how many ppl are hopless bcoz of this prb. you may discuss it but this will not be enough in my opinion unless they themself see how seriouse it is and how worldwide it is.
LOL, Jimi i am a girl, and believe me not all girls are like that!!Jimi wrote: Sorry for the girls on this forum if I offended them, but the reality is like that
I had a partner who cheated on me, and it made me feel worse about my situation, it made me think my BB was the one driving him to do it, bcoz i didnt really show affection i didnt want to expose him to the stench that i was giving off, he always wanted to kiss, and cuddle but i couldnt alow myself to be so intimate.
Hmmm i usally think what if i didnt have this problem and i was to meet a guy that i really like who had BB would i stay with them?! and the answer is probably "yes", and the kind of person i am i would probably never mention it to them, just for the fear of them being worried or nervous when their around me!
I always have this flash back, I sat next to this old lady at a birthday party her breath was really really bad, i didnt want to be near her and i always think is that what people smell when i talk to them, it makes me cringe the thought of it. but in her case hers was poor oral hygiene because i met her again at a family members house some time after and her breath wasnt bad!
She may think im saying she got bad breath, i think that would be the wrong move but i do understand it will give her an understanding that this is a serious problem for many people all over the world,Ahmad wrote:hi findacure! hi all guys. i'm new here and this is my first post, findacure i think you don't have to directly discuss it with her, how about if you send him an email with a link to this forum specially the personal stories, it realy tells a lot, maybe more than you can say. yet it is all copy of all of our painful stories, don't you agree??!
"This condition doesnt discriminate"
