At the end...

Maria · Post by **Maria** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 5:28 pm

All my friends are gone.I mean none of them even call me any more.I guess at the begining they were thinking its kind of infection,or digestive sys. problem or.....and will cure but then after 5 years they got tired and now I am alone.All them recently tried some how to tell me in different ways that bb is embaressing specially when they wanted to introduce me to others.any way I am at home all weekends.No family,no friends,.....oh god I'm tired.

At work every single day is like being in the hell.Though I think they had been nice people so far not to let me go!but still I have a new story every day there.some days all by sudden nobody talks to me and the next day they will talk.one day all run away from me and as soon as we are face to face they frown and try to show how much they hate me ,the other day they become nice ,try to help me in every thing they can,give me good news of getting training,or even helping me in my personal stuff such as fixing some thing in my car!!!!!!!
I am just CONFUSED! I became paranoid.Where should I go.I wish our imaginary island exist.
I think I'm waiting till I lose my job then,being alone,no job ,no money in one word no life,then I have enough resone to do some thing ....
I had been thinking of it for long time.
I tried every treatment possible.You name it.All resolutions here every body mentioned I had already tried.well there is no help any where in this world.no body cares about us.I am tired of runing away from people.while ago I wrote to a world class institute and assked for help,gave them address of this site,but "WHO CARES", right?
I though they should know we exist.Oh god,I'm just tired even don't know what stops me,guess still I have hope which will fade sooner or later.
I'm not a native english speaker and even dont know you people here understand me.

Post by **Jimi Stein** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:06 am

I feel like you Maria, hold on, it will be better, or condition is still better than being blind, or deaf, you have to look it like this dear.

It is not worth to do something stupid Maria, not worth it.

jc · Post by jc » Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:19 am

Yeah, life with bb sucks but I feel like a cure will be found in a few years time. So hang in there Maria.

emotional rescue · Post by **emotional rescue** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:59 am

Maria,

We understand you very well, and your english is great,

Please keep the faith, i also think that a cure will be found in the next years and someday this will be a bad bad dream, the voice is running....the solution will come sooner or later....

In the meantime, try to stay busy with something, try to be a better person, a most talented and prepared person, prepare yourself to your future cause your future will be without bb, i´m sure!!!

we must always focus in something to do

Also, i remember that you said that you were from Canada....did you found some member near you to meet???

good luck girl....

Maria · Post by **Maria** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 10:06 pm

Thanks ever body.
But Jimi when you say situation is better than being blind or deaf doesn't sound right to me.The blind or deaf ,they can at least socialise with ppl.they are accepted as handicaps.they are accepted by society.No body will run away from them or push them back or give them the SHUT UP signs!
what a bout us?what?
emotional rescue, I realy tried to keep the faith.thats why I stick to my job and do it perfectly.I am back to school and learning some thing to BUILT THE FUTURE BETTER!!!!
But what future.it's been 5 years and every year worst than before.I lost a lot.most important thing is it changed my personality.I can feel it.I hate myself.I am not the same person any more.I have noting.

I did asked some canadians here to be in touch or meet.but no response.i guess ppl here afraid meet each other or are not real ppl.
None of them response.some just send one PM.thats all.
i needed to meet ppl with same situation but no luck!

what should I say??????
Thats why I am confused?I don't know even if evry thing is real?i don't know where am I?why I come back again?
I just dont know any thing,NOTHING.......

thanatos · Post by **thanatos** » Sun Apr 27, 2008 12:57 am

I'm also afraid of meeting people here. Most say that when they're around others they can't smell each other's breaths. I know everyone will smell mine & that I'd ironically become the only guy in the group of halitosis sufferers that has bad breath & I'll have to go away and let them converse in peace.

jc · Post by jc » Sun Apr 27, 2008 2:20 am

thanatos wrote:I'm also afraid of meeting people here. Most say that when they're around others they can't smell each other's breaths. I know everyone will smell mine & that I'd ironically become the only guy in the group of halitosis sufferers that has bad breath & I'll have to go away and let them converse in peace.

That`s what I thought too. I even warned Jon that he might have some allergic reactions to my breath but to my surprise he could not smell me, the same way I couldn`t smell him. So you`ll never know who can smell who until you`re actually in the meet -up. Don`t be afraid guys , it doesn`t matter if they can smell you or not cuz they`re in the same boat as you.

halihope · Post by **halihope** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:56 pm

MARIA WHERE ARE YOU!!

I hope you are doing fine despite your bb, please let us know how you are doing or have you tried something new.

Post by **Jimi Stein** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 7:51 pm

I know we are all suffering

Today I drank a little of baking soda and went to a couple I had business with, they were really nice, a man was so close to my face like 1 inch and did not react at all. He was just nice probably. 1 Hour later when I went home he was talking about his dog, how he always rolls in cesspools, and than he smells, also his wife was telling the same thing how their doog smells like shit and I was just, I know I have bb. They evn said their dog smells so bad that it is unbearable. And that really broke me.

I

Maria · Post by **Maria** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:25 pm

Hi guys,
Thank you for thinking of me.That really feels good to know that ppl you barely know each other are thinking of you.I am very down but stil alive.God had done every thing to the end to me.I am even such a coward to do any thing!

Jimi I get every single day a hint from boss.
This work place is kiling me and now my cousin move to this city and wants to meet each other and this is my new problem.I went to visit them for 3 hour I was there and they nice BUT suffering.
you know ppl will be nice couple of times but after will give shit.

like as my boss who is asking everyday when I am going home.
any way ,I just dont know what I want to do.one of these day willresign and then I don't know.
thanks again

halihope · Post by **halihope** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 6:04 am

Maria if you are getting hints from your boss then why not have a talk with boss or give boss a letter and explain you have no control over your bb and that you are doing everything possible to find a solution to this problem and remind your boss you are doing a great job at work!!