so im a 19 year old guy living in holland. Like many of you BB is a huge problem for me. Guess ill just start from the beginning.I was 14 years old i think and we were on a schooltrip. So I was sitting next to a guy and talking to him. It was kinda calm in the bus because we weren't moving yet. So suddenly this guy looks at me with this retarded face and saying out loud: Man your breath stinks! I could feel the eyes looking at me from all directions and i swear i just wanted to die at that moment. What a horrible feeling
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Since then I have been very careful with talking directley in someones face. Always holding my breath when someone comes close, breathing in other directions. Sometimes I held my breath for so long that I would start to sweat and be forced to breath even more heavily. Making my panic feeling even worse! Since then i always panic when people get close and i get very quiet.2 years ago i lost the girl of my dreams. For real this was the girl I would spent my whole life if it wasnt for this ****ing BB. I never kissed her in the 2 years we had something ( long distance relation and we were lucky to see eachother a few days a year). And even if we met, it was a secret to relatives so everything had to go secretley you know.. (culture thingy -.- ) Anyway one time , at night we were finally alone after so much times. Every1 was asleep and she sat next to me...****ing hell i wanted to hold her and kiss her but i couldnt.. all i could think of was my breath. Constantly trying to keep it a secret for her, breathing the other way. Almost sayiing nothing...can you imagine that we sat next to eachother for 5 hours and like..nothing happend? I was sure she was just pissed at me..i could tell (who wouldnt be? ) Then suddenly some1 woke up and we quickly went to bed...I wish i just had told her about my problem. After that night I started to lose her i could see it. When we drove back home and we arrived, i just went to my room and cried like a baby pff. I was so pissed and hurt. And felt bad to hurt my girl so much. She smsed me when she got home and said she was wathing tv and suddenly had to cry.
All because i couldnt give her what she wanted..affection and love and all that you know. I couldnt even hold her hand! Her hand was right next to mine when we sat in front of the tv that night. It touched my hand but i couldnt hold it. I had panic feelings. Couldnt think clearly and was afraid she would try to kiss me
Anway months after that she starting to hate me i could feel it. Avoided me on msn etc and then she told me we were to different...( i hadnt told her anything so she assumed i was just a sissy who was afraid to kiss i guess , a shy guy u know..pff)
After she broke up I got depressed. Something called dystimia (google it if u want) . Over the years i developed a social phobia and im in therapy now for 1,5 years now. Since the therapy it goes better but i still havent told my therapist about my breath lol... Only to my ex but it was already to late to fix the relation.
Well i got tired of my breath a year ago. So eventhough i was ashamed of telling it to anybody, i went to the doctor and told him about some yellow thing that comes out of my mouth sometimes(really awfull smell godddd). I already did the research on it and told him i knew i had tonsil stones. 6 months later my tonsils got removed in an operation. When the operation ended i thought..oh man finally a new life starts..
well guess what, eventhough the fecy smell is over in my mouth, it still stinks...I always have a dry throat and it feels like my nose is a part of the problem too. Its always so dry and its not moisture from the inside as it should be. When i breath through my nose i feel a cold chill at the back of my throat. Sometimes that part gets so dry it hurts.
I tried drinking water always blabla doesnt help either. Searched the internet for mouthwater and recentley tried retarDEX and as the name says this produkt is retarded. Didnt help shit to me :S Wasted money again. Now i am going to try Halita Mouthwater. I used it before and i kinda liked the results. It helped me (well i think it did cus the weird taste in my mouth was gone) but i never asked some1 to confirm the bad breath was gone. I used it for about a month but didnt have the cash to buy more. Now im going to try it again since i got a job now and can afford it. I will let you guys know how it works out for me.
In the meanwhile im going to keep checking these forums. Hope to find some cure for this shit. Ive read some stories here and i really feel for you guys. I know how its like
Thought about s*****e alot a few months ago. I mean, if this continues ill never have a girlfriend ..ever. I'll stay alone and ****ing no way that im going to live my life like that. Rather just die.Pff ***k with all this technologie nowadays you would think there was already cure for BB.
Just gotta keep my fingers crossed.
Bye for now
