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Another miserable day...

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 3:14 am
by daveparker
At work, customers come in and tell them what they want to know, they may buy something or they might not, but when they are leaving and are talking to their friend/spouse/sibling, i always hear or think i hear them talking about a smell. That always puts me in a depressing mood, and get thoughts of s*****e running thru my mind. Than after work today, i went to a gas station, i tried small talking with the cashier, and i was in the middle of talking and he just said OK....god even when i think my bb is in control or not too bad, i get the reactions....fuckin i hate this shit so fuckin much!!!!!

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:48 pm
by Busted
It can can still get 10x more miserable. The only way to make it look like a bit more positive is by telling ourselves that it could have been 10x worse. And when it is 10x worse, it could have been 100x worse. :roll:

Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 5:52 pm
by daveparker
u kno whats even worse, when u look away to get something the customer asked for, they mumble something like "smells like shit" or "o shit," my heart just sinks, i was so outgoing and likable b4 all this, i can't even talk in public anymore, i always keep silent, i cant even open my mouth to laugh....on top of people thinking my breath smells like crap, they think i'm some sort of wierdo/psycho...i am so sick of it. I'm only 20, im afraid to go to school, i havent had a friend or a relationship since i was 15...whats suppose to be the best years of life have been beyond miserable.

Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:58 pm
by Busted
Same, but I think you may care too much. It doesn't matter what some random strangers think about u. Screw them !

Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:25 pm
by BBRuiningMyLife
I know what you mean Dave. It sucks. I'm in 11th grade and my day was horrible today. I didn't want to live. I felt so alone and my heart sank just like yours did. I'm afraid to ask people for help because I don't want my mom or anyone to think I'm weird. I like this one girl soooooo much, but I think she even knows. People talk all over the school, and even though I sometimes don't care what people think, I do care what they say. So it still hurts a lot. I want to be a happy guy, but people tell me I'm so depressing. I mean, seriously, what am I supposed to do? Act outgoing and then take what people say about me? I'm human, and it hurts to hear those things.

I also used to be sociable before all of this, but now I feel more lonely, depressed, and suicidal everyday. My mom thinks it's because of my medications, but I know the real reason. I'm just so scared of what will happen if I tell someone. I want help, but I don't want to be thought of differently. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 4:19 pm
by xiaohuochai
BBRuiningMyLife wrote:I know what you mean Dave. It sucks. I'm in 11th grade and my day was horrible today. I didn't want to live. I felt so alone and my heart sank just like yours did. I'm afraid to ask people for help because I don't want my mom or anyone to think I'm weird. I like this one girl soooooo much, but I think she even knows. People talk all over the school, and even though I sometimes don't care what people think, I do care what they say. So it still hurts a lot. I want to be a happy guy, but people tell me I'm so depressing. I mean, seriously, what am I supposed to do? Act outgoing and then take what people say about me? I'm human, and it hurts to hear those things.

I also used to be sociable before all of this, but now I feel more lonely, depressed, and suicidal everyday. My mom thinks it's because of my medications, but I know the real reason. I'm just so scared of what will happen if I tell someone. I want help, but I don't want to be thought of differently. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
dont be so depressed and try to talk this thing with your parents.They love you so much and they can understand you.I did,now my parents always look for solutions for me.i must live bravely to requite their love in the future. so do you!!!

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:11 pm
by BBRuiningMyLife
@xiaohuochai

OK, I'll try...