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I can't take it anymore!

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XXdEaThBrEaThXX
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I can't take it anymore!

Post by XXdEaThBrEaThXX »

I recently required a reference from someone, he was a two-faced homosexual who liked to bitch non-stop.

Anyway, his reference of me included my bad breath and he wasn't very flattering about my supposed "hygiene".

I have spoken privately to him about this matter before, he simply told me to "brush my teeth". I explained that I brush my teeth 4 times a day, I chew gum and I drink herbal tea, don't smoke etc. It's a chronic problem to which he just shouted, "Get it sorted".

Now, no-one will hire me, I have been to several interviews with which all the interviewers were laughing and giggling throughout it. I eventually had to confront an interviewer and demanded to know what was so funny and he told me what had been said on the reference.

I feel so embarrassed and betrayed. My faith has deserted me, I have personal problems, family issues, I am suffering from depression. I really can't take anymore.


Busted
God
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Post by Busted »

What exactly is this reference all about? Do you have to cure your bb before you can get a new job. It's impossible. :?
Busted
God
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Post by Busted »

Has anyone else had the same problem?
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DRASTIC
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Post by DRASTIC »

Hi,

I personally know what it is like going for interviews. I went for one recently and 2 out of 3 people in the room who were interviewing me kept coughing and coughing and cover their noses and they were awful to me. Everytime they asked me a question and I answered they coughed and coughed. I felt humiliated, so humiliated. I brush and floss snd gargle so many times and scrape but still awful breath. I have asked close friends and they all deny it yet when they see me they cover their noses. I cannot smell it yet they can. I have become a hermit myself. Daily trips to the supermarkets and other shops are for basic necessity food items and then i rush back home so I dont offend other people.

I ask God how an we live with this condition. I know its human nature to react the way they do but come on. Have a heart. Dont give up hope. Just try to live life at your best that is all you can do.

People look at us as if we are dirty people. I know what you mean. They laugh, giggle and talk behind our backs. I have grown so tough that I dont get affected by their comments anymore. I just shrugg it off and move on.

Re: The job situation. I am trying to find a job that has nothing to do with public or people. I cant find any yet. But still looking. Keep the faith. I and many others struggle daily just like you.

Keep hopeful. Never give up.

D
macks86
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Post by macks86 »

isnt it illegall to write something negative in a reference? it is here in UK....not sure about other places, but if there is something negative the referee simply can only say they cant give reference....

sorry to deviate from the pain of interviews,i feel that pain a million times over
Hal_1t0515
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Post by Hal_1t0515 »

Isn't it unusual for references to be checked before the first interview? Most companies in the US only check the references when they're interested in a job candidate they've already interviewed at least once. Maybe it's different in the UK.

In the US, people have sued for getting bad references like that, that have nothing to do with job performance. Most corporations don't give any personal information in references now, just time of employment and position.

I recommend DioxiRinse to at least control the bb before an interview. I think it works, unless the odor is coming from the throat area that can't be reached by gargling.
Jimi Stein
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Post by Jimi Stein »

dude you have to be strong, we are all in the same mess, I could not get a job, but after like 20 interviews I got it. It becomes a routine and somebody will take you. Just repeat and repat the process, do you have references?

Dress in a suit, put a gum in your mouth so they can see you care about smelling. YOu will do it!!!!!

WHen you start working it is easy, for my first job it took me like 20 or more interviews, then I got a job, i was fired after 6 month, immediately got another job and I was fired again :)

then I started my won business, was hired again but this tome from people they did not know about my bb.

And after that I just work from home.

Many people are like internet businessmen, they live from the net!!!

THis is your path, or work from home, especially in USA they need a lot of phone support people and you can work from home.
bleh
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Post by bleh »

That is the most unprofessional thing I've ever heard. First off, what company were you working for that would openly say something so rude. That makes your manager look like an idiot if he can't even speak professionally of a past worker. Second, I'm sure you can seek legal matters if you really wanted to. There should be an option for "may we contact your previous employers," and just circle "no," and explain why. And as for the interviewers for the jobs you want, that is ridiculous. There should be some level of respect between and interviewer and interviewee. I could expect that from a restaurant or fast food joint, but not from any professional work environment.
sharon
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Post by sharon »

I feel so sad after reading your post.
Today is also a day that I feel I can't take it any more.

I don't even have a real job yet, I am a graduate student conditionally employed by my advisor. The job requires one to be extremely active in mind and constant discussion and work with people closely. I can not concentrate to understand the problem people are discussing, I can not come up with new ideas, I can not talk freely, while my co- workers, my advisor keep covering their noses, sitting even behind me and several seats away. I am not even depressed, I am almost broke down, yet my advisor criticizes me being not alive and being passive and going to fire me, my co-researcher thinks me lazy and stupid while not answering my questions, not discussing with me, covering his nose even if I close my mouth tightly. How can I be active? how can I be smart and aggressive? I don't dare to eat nutritious lunch, I eat brown rice and salads, my coworkers eat fish and beef and eggs....how can my brain work? how can one feels being humiliated while at the time being a science genius?

I had struggled tens of years at school, I once worked so hard and excelled with extra courage. I believe it is the years of staying up late and mental stress and poor physical health that accumulated to kill me now.

This is my crappy graduate school life, I feel it will end with failure soon. I have experiences with several professors, almost all of them--from old prestigious ones: distinguished, honored, dean...to young just employed ones, gave me covering noses reactions without any hesitation, and then I know I will never even have an opportunity to be under their advisor and can do something.

I can't be creative under such humiliating stress. I have no family, no career, no money, not even a bf, a friend who respect me and thinks me is also a noble one in spirit.

I want to die, really do.
Hal_1t0515
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Post by Hal_1t0515 »

Don't give up, sharon! I hope someday bb will be treated as the serious dis-ease that it is. In the mean time, we have to keep looking for solutions or at least ways to keep it under control.
XXdEaThBrEaThXX
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Post by XXdEaThBrEaThXX »

Sharon. I'll be your boyfriend!!! :)

We can get through this together.
TIRED
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Post by TIRED »

Whata jerk! I'd sue the bastard!!!

I'm dreading the day that I go back to work and have to interview again! Interviews are nerve-racking enough as it is, put bb in the mix and forget it!

Hang in there!
XXdEaThBrEaThXX
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Post by XXdEaThBrEaThXX »

I don't want to name names but I've been really depressed of late.

All I can do is my best, keep focused and stay positive.

Thanks for all your comments.
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