I never got to flirt growing up

lolalola · Post by **lolalola** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:28 am

You know how people look at each other with longing eyes and say sexy things to other people. Nope not me, can't do that even now I flirt with my husband on the phone not when he is infront of me. growing up, I had to stick to writing letters, send pigeons with letters, smoke clouds because even if you are attractive when you open your mouth to say something sexy the other person will never have a sex drive again due to the stink!

Busted · Post by **Busted** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 5:26 pm

We never got a chance to live. THis life is a joke, there is nothin we can do about it.

thanatos · Post by **thanatos** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 6:02 pm

It really does ruin most of the intimacy. When I'm cuddling up to my girlfriend in bed, I'm always thinking about tit, holding my breath, trying not to speak directly into her face, redirecting my nose breath away from her by positioning my head at weird angles......

100% of the spontaneity is non-existent and 90% of the intimacy is tarnished.

lolalola · Post by **lolalola** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 6:05 pm

I have been with my husband for so long and I too do all these weird things with him and my nieces so that I can avoid killing them with the bb. My biggest fear and embarrasment is to hear a loved one telling me that I my breath smells. You feel so violated like they are supposed to be your lifeline and to hear them say things like other people is really the worst.

Post by **Jimi Stein** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 7:38 pm

the same with me, never really enjoyed love life and if I got a gfr i picked up the shit nobody else wanted, even though they were pretty, one was drunk, one was bulimic, one was stupid, on was a hooker......

lolalola · Post by **lolalola** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:15 pm

I agree even the choices of men I used to try to make a relationship with were shady. Most of them were mean, low expectation losers but they all had fresh breath... THE IRONY!!
I used to see goodlooking/smart men and always think they were out of my league even though I went to college and have a pretty decent job. I have been told I am very attractive but with bb that brings me down to downright disgusting b/c you can make yourself up anyway you want the bb is front and center. I have been to places where women and men are looking at me and I am praying no one wants to chat and it is sad because you never make new friends or want to because you have to introduce your disease to a new person and they may react by laughing about you to others. Too scary!!!
My breath is awful I would say when someone gets a few feet of me but I don't stink up the entire rooms anymore like I did when I was younger. Growing up, I had no self esteem and it took me so long to figure out that it had been the bb all along. I used have guys like me initially but the second I open my mouth and do all the shinanigans that go with letting them NOT smell the bb is enough for someone to think you are psycho, smelly and belong in a mental insitution. I have this habit of jumping back, pursing my lips, mumbling, chewing gum 20 hours a day, and this way of speaking where I try not to breathe out or in. YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!!! I am fun on the phone but when guys used to try to hug or kiss me I used to do this thing where I was playing hard to get but it wasnt I was too scared to get close/kiss with the bb. I dont know how my husband who is a beautiful, kind, succesful man accepted me, maybe God felt sorry for me and gave me just one person who loves me regardless of the bb.
This site really helped me see that I am not alone. We all do these strange things to survive this disease. Thanks Jimi because there are really no other outlets for me to say these things. I must admit I do cry when I write on this site as these are things I have never been able to tell anyone.

XXdEaThBrEaThXX · Post by **XXdEaThBrEaThXX** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:12 pm

WOW, I'm exactly the same.

I fear getting too close to people in case I offend them with my atrocious bad breath.

You're all very lucky. I've only ever had one relationship and that didn't end too well.

Oh well.....I can live in hope.

elliott · Post by **elliott** » Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:38 am

Well, you can be happy that you at least have a husband or wife. Some of us will always be alone.

brokenbuthopeful · Post by **brokenbuthopeful** » Wed Sep 10, 2008 1:54 pm

all the pleasures this world has to offer are not for us!!! I got chronic bb at beginning of my teenage. now here i am, never had a girlfind, or a close friend at all. nearly 24 years old now. I know loads of girls who had a crush on me. but bcoz of my fear of getting humiliated, i always ignored them and posed to be hermatic and rude. even last weekend one preety lady at my job flirted with me i know she really wants to go out with me. And what was my response,i did not even smile. All i want from this life is to love and to be loved but...... i want to have a family and kids of my own. is that too much to ask. but from where can i get a fresh breath to say a simple sentence that; " i love you". even if i try to make a relationship, it will definetly fail bcoz the part of my brain which deals with social relations has been shut down as its not in use from ages. i hope some day i get across a decent girl who is also suffering from same problem and who understands me.
Whatever; i know i have lived and i have not lived in vain. I will keep my fight going on against the depression that bb brings with it. This fight will not be over until one of us is eliminated, either me , or my fears. I know who is the boss around. BB can make me panic but it wont stop me from getting what I want. I know i am in a battle and so are you. but remember in the end that wins, who think he can. so pick up yourselves, hang in there and keep the good fight going on. cheers