I have to do community service
Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:46 pm
I got some traffic tickets, and thank God I only have 24 hours to do Monday was my first day, I did three hours. And I thought I would make it. I had my peach flavored sugar free gum. I was feeling good at first because I was just putting clothes on racks, I made it O.K. the first 2 hours. The bacteria multiplied. I was too scared to go in the break room to drink the water I brought.I was scared. I spent my last hour wondering, or should I say knowing people can smell me. Customers started sneezing coughing.
And the worst thing ever is my mom is watching my son so I can get this done. And she wants me to do a full 8 hr shift. I actually enjoyed the work. But I my God 8 fu$#%$%$ hrs. What am I goig to do? I tried to tell myself before I went that, Its Ok , I dont even know these people. So I get there and the woman is someone I know. My neighbors ex mother inlaw. I can see it now. They'll be talking. Some days I think my nose fart is gone, some times its back. I thought my son was a good teller of it. But he seems to be nice aboout it when things are good, and more honest about the stench when for instance he may be on punishment or something. He's 9.
So I probably won't even sleep good tonight. How in the hell can I do it. I am really worried.I know I have to no matter what, its just so sad.I want to be sociable and be close to people. And laugh with my mouth open. And say yes instead of mhm, and people think your stupid. I am tired of people thinking I am a stuck up priss, that thinks shes to good to talk to people. I want to visit my grandmas. I want to go shopping with my cousins. I want to stand in a line, without a panic attack. I want to dance. I want to have a glasss of wine with a wonderful gentleman. I want to kiss and hug someone. I want to stop scraping and brushin, I am so tired of it. I want a friend that understands. I want to go to work.. Please God. I want a cure.
I could think of more that I want. I need to go wipe my tears.
And the worst thing ever is my mom is watching my son so I can get this done. And she wants me to do a full 8 hr shift. I actually enjoyed the work. But I my God 8 fu$#%$%$ hrs. What am I goig to do? I tried to tell myself before I went that, Its Ok , I dont even know these people. So I get there and the woman is someone I know. My neighbors ex mother inlaw. I can see it now. They'll be talking. Some days I think my nose fart is gone, some times its back. I thought my son was a good teller of it. But he seems to be nice aboout it when things are good, and more honest about the stench when for instance he may be on punishment or something. He's 9.
So I probably won't even sleep good tonight. How in the hell can I do it. I am really worried.I know I have to no matter what, its just so sad.I want to be sociable and be close to people. And laugh with my mouth open. And say yes instead of mhm, and people think your stupid. I am tired of people thinking I am a stuck up priss, that thinks shes to good to talk to people. I want to visit my grandmas. I want to go shopping with my cousins. I want to stand in a line, without a panic attack. I want to dance. I want to have a glasss of wine with a wonderful gentleman. I want to kiss and hug someone. I want to stop scraping and brushin, I am so tired of it. I want a friend that understands. I want to go to work.. Please God. I want a cure.
I could think of more that I want. I need to go wipe my tears.