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Life is so empty...

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 8:50 am
by daveparker
sorry but this is just a pathetic rant because i can't tell doctors or my family these kind of things because they dont understand...

lately i've been dreaming about my past a lot, in a way it's pleasant because I am kind of reliving the best parts of my fairly young life (im 21), but moreso it's been depressing like i haven't changed as a person but just this curse has fucked my life up, all i do is get up, go to work (salesperson too), come home, eat, sleep, and repeat, I have 0 friends, just cuz of this illness. I am extremely unhappy, I have spells during the day where I'm an inch away from sobbing like a baby for practically no reason but just thinking about my life, i look back at times not to far ago where i was a fairly popular guy, friends with nearly everyone, happy, excited about my future, now no friends, no future, extreme depression....now i dont know what to do with my life, i've been to dentists and my doctor, they have no clue, my doctor recommended therapy imo not because he thinks im halitophobic but because of what it's done to my mind, its practically fried. i am lost and miserable, i'd sell my soul to cure myself, honestly id probably be willing to kill a person to cure myself, this is just too much, and i know this kind of thought process is alien to most w/o sum sort of socially crippling problem but to those who share my dread you know messed up it can get you, im just sooo incredibly lonely, i dont know what to do.

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 1:30 pm
by sandy
Hang in there, were all going through the same thing. I believe in Hope and we will find this cure & dont be surprise it just might be blue led light. We will see ,hope & pray. [-o<

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:25 am
by leon4371
hey man, i know it is hard to suffer with this kind of disease but don't be so desperate that you're willing to do anything like sell your soul or kill. This life is precious. Eventually there will be a cure so hang on there man.

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 3:55 pm
by Hank
daveparker,

I don't know exactly what you're going though, but I've felt similarly at times (feelings of no friends, thinking only of the past when things were better, loneliness, sadness, etc.). And when someone vents as you did, the instinct of others is to give advice, but you may not want any. You may just feel like feeling shitty for a while, which is okay. Also, I can't imagine what it would be like having this problem at such a young age. Mine didn't hit until late 20's when hopefully people should have a bit more perspective on life's problems (but not necessarily). Having said all that, if I had any advice to give to those suffering with this problem, it would be: (1) Get a job where you don't have personal contact with others all day. This just gets you more down, looking at all those reactions all day. That was the case with my previous job and it sucked. Now I have a job with MUCH less personal contact, and I'm happier. (2) Exercise like crazy. Obviously it's good for you in general, but you get the endorphins flowing which cuts down on depression feelings. Most of my friends I've met though sports (running, tennis, and hiking). So you interact with them thru sports and not sitting around bullshitting which a lot of people do. (3) Keep trying anything and everything to fight the BB. Even if you get a stupid idea like eating bananas helps, just try it. I've found this is a good coping mechanism because at least you think you're doing something against it, rather than just being a victim. I've tried just about everything people have suggested on this forum. (4) Tell yourself repeatedly that you're more than this problem; you're more than BB; you're not defined by a smell emanating from your mouth. Keep developing yourself in terms of other interests and activites.

Hang in there bro...

Hank

Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:58 am
by daveparker
It's sad really that if I didn't have this problem, i could pick up girls so easy and make friends so easily....but i do have this problem and am extremely paranoid most of the time.

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:57 pm
by firecracker
I can totally relate to that! I feel the same way.

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 10:58 pm
by Natureisawhore
I know exactly what you mean with the whole disease messing with our heads and that's exactly what it does. Makes us feel worthless and just alone all the time. I know how it is being so young dealing with this watching people live their lives while we just sit back and do nothing.I wish I was able to live a little more before actually dealing with this. I know feeling sorry for myself doesn't help at all but it's hard to not let this get to me. Keep your head up things will get better for you.

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:57 am
by terminalBB
At least you got to experience high school, i'm going next year and its gonna suck! We assembles on every wednesday i stink up the room, where ALL the students from my school are and they all know its me cause whenever they walk past me they smell it. Life suckz, i've totally given up, just don't give a f**k i mean just be urself. At least people will say aww wadda nice guy if only didn't have bad breath but if you just stay quiet around people mabey one day that person ur destines to be with might meet you and you stay quiet, she will never know how awsome you are. If that person really liked you she wouldn't give. :D

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:58 am
by terminalBB
At least you got to experience high school, i'm going next year and its gonna suck! We assembles on every wednesday i stink up the room, where ALL the students from my school are and they all know its me cause whenever they walk past me they smell it. Life suckz, i've totally given up, just don't give a f**k i mean just be urself. At least people will say aww wadda nice guy if only didn't have bad breath but if you just stay quiet around people mabey one day that person ur destines to be with might meet you and you stay quiet, she will never know how awsome you are. If that person really liked you she wouldn't give. :D