Is this really my life?

[Colekist]

I don't really know where to begin, but maybe the actual beginning is appropriate. I have suffered from chronic bad breath for about 20 years that I know of! When I was about 10 or 11 years old I got a route canal. My mother's insurance only covered the actual procedure and did not cover the cost of the cap. Needless to say...about 5 or 6 years down the line my tooth began to chip and eventually just kinda broke off. When I was about 18....I was talking to a coworker about my chipped tooth and she responded..."So that's why your breath smells sometimes?" I didn't even know to say...so I just said..."I guess so."
I tried to take better care of my mouth right there and then. I met a guy about a year later and two years into my relationship he kept telling me to go the dentist. It still hadn't hit me that I had "chronic halitosis." He just kept telling me that maybe I needed to get my teeth cleaned. I had neglected my cleanings for years...not having insurance and all. (BIg mistake). So here I am still walking around with this bad tooth knowing that it smelled, I would rub my finger on the tooth and then smell it....yuck!
Fast forward 5 years later...I get a job as a flight attendant and of course I am coming in contact with people all the time. I was introduced to Altoids so I thought I could use that to mask the problem until I actually took care of it. Lol...yeah right! What was I thinking? Well...I eventually went the the dentist to get this bad tooth removed because I think this will solve my BB problem. After this I go back to work a lot more confident thinking that I no longer had BB. Boy was I wrong! One time I was on the plane doing a beverage service...after I got a few rows up I turn around to see a passenger that I had just serve turn to the woman beside her and say..."Did you smell her breath?" I wanted to break down and cry right then!
I then talk to my dentist about it and he asks me to purchase a Rota-Dent toothbrush and to come in for a series of special cleanings. Happy Happy Joy Joy....NOT!!!
No one has ever told me exactly how bad my breath smells...I've always just overheard people talking about me. I know it can be embarrassing for people to be honest with you, but I would prefer that over people smiling in my face and talking to me....and then when I leave the room cut into me. It's gotten really hard to deal with. I've tried TheraBreath, Clo Sys, etc. I even went to a well known dentist in New York that I seen on television. He supposedly specializes in halitosis. I breathed into a halometer and was horrified! He told me that with this particular halometer that anything over 50 was considered "bad breath." I topped out at 83!!! He told me that I probably have some dry mouth issues and that dairy, coffee, alchohol, gengavitis, etc were my culprits. He also told me that for $2,300 I could have fresh breath with his series of 4 treatments. Needless to say I don't have this money right now...and my worst fear would be to pay this money and still have BB!
Socially and emotionally I have suffered beyond belief! I'm no longer a flight attendant, but I still have a job where I'm constantly coming into contact with people....as a matter of fact THAT IS MY JOB! I just want to curl up into a ball and die! I've always had dreams of being a singer, novelist, travel journalist, etc...and as of late I have become interested in acting and musical theater. How does one have the confidence do this when you know that you will probably alienate around you? This little story is only scratching the surface of what I've endured over the last 20 years. Is this really my life? Sometimes I just want to die!

[smileyXDD]

I nearly cried while reading your post.
Yes I feel your pain. That's horrible.
I am only 14 and I really want to be a composer
and I want to get my first boyfriend soon.
But I can't because my bb.
I can't even hang out with friends anymore
and they get mad at me for not hanging out with them.
They tell me that I'm losing my "social abilities."
I really want to meet them at the mall and watch
movies with them too but I can't because bb always
gets in the way.
Why do we have to deal with this at such an early age???
We barely lived our lives and now we're receiving a burden
to eat away our once happy souls?
I'm not even excited anymore. My maximum happiness is satisfied.
Not even happy. It used to be EXCITING but now the maximum is
lowered to satisfied since bb gets in the way of everything.
And I do sometimes get surprised that this is my life.
I feel like it's FAKE. but it's REAL. THE REAL THING.
I don't get it. Why did God give us these burdens?
Why now? Why forever? WHY?????!?!!!!

God if you are reading this post,
please answer us.
Why did you give us bb?


And please God.
Please cure ALL OF US.
WE'RE PRACTICALLY IN AGONY

[wnaysha]

true smilyx,

I have been suffering for so many years now, I'm 20, and the whole time, every single second, I asked god the same question, but I finally came to believe that maybe God wants us to get ready for something else, He wants us to be positive and see how bad and unfair this world can be, he wants us to atleast learn to not judge others. because he never gives anyone a burden they can't bare, and that always makes me stronger.

[meowkity1]

Wnaysha I like what you wrote.
I remember in middle school year's i actually used to have this thing with thinking and treating chinese people like there breath stunk because to me itdid and the food. So it has definately helped me as i grow older not to be so judgemental.
And I am finaly breaking out of my chinese food fobia realizing its only rice. Vegetables mixed with other things

[Susie]

Did you quit being a flight attendant b/c of your breath? I always thought that would be such a fun job, but I get motion sickness.

Susie

[exume]

aah same stories ppl dat can relate to me oneday guys oneday

[Colekist]

Hi Susie...

No...I didn't stop being a flight attendant because of my breath...I just decided to try something different...so I went to go work on a cruise ship. Now I'm thinking about going back to interview for another airline next week and I'm scared as heck because my breath is worse (I think) than when I was first hired at the airline almost 10 year ago. Then I had six altoids in my mouth during my interview...this time I'll have about 12...lol!

SmileyX.....thank you...but it's all gonna be alright you just wait and see!

[Zeeza]

This is my first time even seeing a site like this. I have searched for years for information at bb and to know avail. My story starts when I was six. Since then I acquired this problem, but what is interesting is that my Mom always took good care of my teeth. I went for cleanings every year and didn't have a cavity until I was about 28. It has been over 30 years with the same problem and it just seems to be worse. Throughout my journey like many of you posted, I have seen dentists, physicians, etc. I have had the hpylori test done, negative. Endoscopy, negative. I continue to go to my dentist every 6 months for cleanings. Tried all the tongue cleaners and all the nonalcoholic mouthwashes. Had my tonsils removed, my wisdom teeth as well, but bb still exists. I relate to some of you when you speak of friends that have gone their way. I have had many friends but when I sit here and think about it as I write, we really do not spend much time with each other anymore. I am married with kids. And I have spoken to my spouse about it but they say they don't smell a problem. I remember so many times when I dated people to then abrutly be told that they are seeing someone else. One guy asked me a question, How do you feel about hygiene? At the time, I answered that hygiene is very important. But later then realized what he was really talking about. Just like most people, they feel if you have bb you are not a person that cares about hygiene. That is the furthest thing from the truth.

I agree with some of Jimi's older post about the people coming up with so called cures. I flew to another part of the country just to see a doctor in Tampa which advertised a new product to cure bb, but of course it have not worked and that was over 10 years ago.

I just ask God for a miracle because at this point, I really don't know what else to do. I made another appointment to see a Gastroentologist, I don't even know why or what more to tell him. I tried Reglan and it worked for a minute then bb again. I am glad to see this site and to be able to relate to others. Great idea.

[goldenbrown]

i'm really sorry to hear your story. I just chew gum to mask it, it's like hell. I' only 16 and I've had it since I was young. I wish I were dead.

[f_this]

colekist, what is this 2300 dollar treatment you speak of...i have no money but i would be willing to do/try anything to cure this

[jollibee1208]

guys please don't lose hope.

if god really exist and science is developing, there is still a chance and someday a CURE will be discover and we will all escape this nightmare of our life.