Depression comes and goes...
Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:57 pm
My first realisation that something wasn't right was when I was 9 years old, on holiday with family at a Turkish restaraunt.
While waiting for my meal I got bored and took a toothpick and started picking at my teeth. I pulled the pick out, smelled it, and asked my mum why it "smelled like poo?"
And so it began.
My childhood was always happy. I was sporty, popular and my bad breath was only ever raised once by schoolmates. I brushed but never used mouthwash or floss. It was never anything that I worried about until age 16. I'd just finished school, started college and a job in a pub kitchen.
I had just began what would be my first and only and still going 'big' relationship.
Being a popular kid meant I was always confident with people and never had any hangups on life.
But people began to snigger from afar. They would look over, and laugh. They would cover their noses or take a step back when I talked to them. They would end conversations early or not want to speak to me. The confident and popular kid grew to know something. Something horrible. Something that he had commented on in the past of others.
I realised I had breath that smelled like sh*t. Not like rotten eggs, or fish or cheese...like sh*t.
My girlfriend of 10 years now has been great and she has grown with me and my breath. I am lucky to have her. She's told me ONCE that my breath smelled of faeces. I've recently made jokes about it and how I have accepted that "I know I'm clean but for some reason I'm stuck with this".
It's so sad that I have just accepted it.
I've used all different kinds of toothpaste and mouthwash. Even after I clean my teeth, there is still a smell there. I chew gum all day. I drink 10 pints of water daily. I do everything to mask the issue and feel panicked without gum/mints/bottle of water (to hide my mouth behind!).
I've had sex with my gf hundreds of times but it's getting less and less. She grew to hold her breath when kissing me...now she just turns her cheek or blames her 'own bad breath', "Yeah, right..."
She bought some Parsley the other day...'For no reason...' "Yeah, right..."
I can't stand it.
It's all I ever think about. I get upset because I cannot talk to my girlfriend face-to-face. I cannot talk to my work collegues without them scratching their nose. I'm sick of making up untrue operations on my throat that causes a bad smell..."But hey, I've still got my life...".
I go weeks without it affecting me. I go on with life and then one thing...one thing sets off the depression and I yet again realise that I have a great job, beautiful girlfriend, lots of money and a foul smelling mouth that will always be the bain of my life.
While waiting for my meal I got bored and took a toothpick and started picking at my teeth. I pulled the pick out, smelled it, and asked my mum why it "smelled like poo?"
And so it began.
My childhood was always happy. I was sporty, popular and my bad breath was only ever raised once by schoolmates. I brushed but never used mouthwash or floss. It was never anything that I worried about until age 16. I'd just finished school, started college and a job in a pub kitchen.
I had just began what would be my first and only and still going 'big' relationship.
Being a popular kid meant I was always confident with people and never had any hangups on life.
But people began to snigger from afar. They would look over, and laugh. They would cover their noses or take a step back when I talked to them. They would end conversations early or not want to speak to me. The confident and popular kid grew to know something. Something horrible. Something that he had commented on in the past of others.
I realised I had breath that smelled like sh*t. Not like rotten eggs, or fish or cheese...like sh*t.
My girlfriend of 10 years now has been great and she has grown with me and my breath. I am lucky to have her. She's told me ONCE that my breath smelled of faeces. I've recently made jokes about it and how I have accepted that "I know I'm clean but for some reason I'm stuck with this".
It's so sad that I have just accepted it.
I've used all different kinds of toothpaste and mouthwash. Even after I clean my teeth, there is still a smell there. I chew gum all day. I drink 10 pints of water daily. I do everything to mask the issue and feel panicked without gum/mints/bottle of water (to hide my mouth behind!).
I've had sex with my gf hundreds of times but it's getting less and less. She grew to hold her breath when kissing me...now she just turns her cheek or blames her 'own bad breath', "Yeah, right..."
She bought some Parsley the other day...'For no reason...' "Yeah, right..."
I can't stand it.
It's all I ever think about. I get upset because I cannot talk to my girlfriend face-to-face. I cannot talk to my work collegues without them scratching their nose. I'm sick of making up untrue operations on my throat that causes a bad smell..."But hey, I've still got my life...".
I go weeks without it affecting me. I go on with life and then one thing...one thing sets off the depression and I yet again realise that I have a great job, beautiful girlfriend, lots of money and a foul smelling mouth that will always be the bain of my life.