Love & BB

hali_grl · Post by **hali_grl** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:54 pm

Ok i created the following post about a week ago

ruth
i can tell u being in a relationship w/ bb is tough i found myself pushing my bf away, being bitter and mean. i felt like i was being treated unfairly bc he thought i needed him like i couldn't get anyone else. i found myself dealing with and putting up with things i normally wouldn't have. we were togather for a long time and been through hell togather so figured we can make it through anything but i guess not through bb. i can tell he wasn't as attracted to me even though we had plenty sex it lacked intimacy not to mention my bf reached the big "O" pretty quick for 9yrs he said it was bc he was really turned on by me and before me w/ others he lasted but recently since my bb got way worse he takes longer to climax and he constantly stops and reaches, bends down, or something like it he's trying to get air he even whistles sometimes wtf? he doesn't let me hug, hold, or kiss him he always makes up excuses like he's still mad at me or it's hot or something. i just came to the conclusion that id rather be alone and deal w/ this than have someone there and feel like their disgusted by you. i can't wait until i cure this thing and he sees the old me again beautiful on the outside as well as the inside.

it's weird how we all have this in common we say we're good looking, sexy, nice bodies but we have bb are we being punished. im not saying this because im on the internet and no one can see me but im a very nice looking girl i feel maybe God is punishing me sometimes and gave me a seat back to really observe who i was and what i was becoming. bc of bb im a changed person not all for the bad im a much stronger person, i know exactly who i am and what i want, ive gotten more spiritual, i feel like once i conquer bb i can do anything. my life has been in park for so long under the dark but when i get relief i will blossom and spread my wings and become a social butterfly ive already decided im going to move to new york and pursue my dreams. once im sure ive beaten his thing unlike most i will regain my life im not going to let yrs of recluse affect me. that day will come folks and soon trust me!

Since then my bf & I as of ysterday have reconciled even though I didn't want to bc i truly wanted to be bb free before getting back together i wanted him to be in awe of me and my regained confidence. But he kept calling and texting day to day and i finally gave in i hate to see him like that i know he loves bc he doesn't have to put up w/ me he's a good looking guy but he does he told me if God would come down and bless our relationship he will marry me right now. My bb has made me so sensitive and insecure i think he's not attrached to me anymore and that he has to be cheating or why would he want me like this bc honestly if the roles were reversed I don't think i could hang so i know he has to love me to put up with me and after he expressed his feelings yesterday I know he truly does love me. Our problems has nothing to do w/ my bb but has everything to do with the person my bb has made me become. Even though my bb is clearly obvious how do I tell him about this issue i think maybe if he knows what I'm going through emotionally it will be easier to deal. I don't want to tell him any bs about sinus issues bc i don't think thats my issue I want to be completely straight forward and honest.

mike987 · Post by **mike987** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 5:19 am

Don't jump to conclusions about him cheating on you.

Before getting back together, maybe you should tell him about your problem.
Tell him how it keeps you emotionally insecure, anxious, and distant. Tell him of the desperate struggle you make trying to solve this problem alone, and that while you know there's a solution out there, it's very trying living a life with this condition.

His reaction isn't so important as you just getting it out there, but if somehow it becomes a fight or he starts saying mean things, forget that guy. He needs to understand the hell you go through.

hali_grl · Post by **hali_grl** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:39 pm

mike
thanks for the reply!

maybe i gave my bf a bad rep he's not purposely mean to me he reacts how i would expexct anyone w/ a nose to but w/ me being so sensitive it still feels like a blow to the gut. i dont want the man who wants to marry me feeling like he's with a human septic tank

josef5111 · Post by **josef5111** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:32 pm

there is no need to tel him that you have badbreath he already know that you have bad breath because he is the closest person who can smell you all the time, only if he thinks its bad hygiene then tel him that your badbreath is chronic and you did all these efforts to stop it, why do you want mary him ? do you want children or what?

deebo · Post by **deebo** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 1:14 am

josef5111 wrote:, only if he thinks its bad hygiene then tel him that your badbreath is chronic and you did all these efforts to stop it, why do you want mary him ? do you want children or what?

Yep , hygiene and health are get segues to talking about bb . i feel like , no matter how close , its important to know how heavy a burden the other person can take from you . Let him know that this is what You are dealing with . You are open to his suggestions too. But you dont plan to put it all on him . You are actively working on this issue.

Don't be afraid to mention sinuses, stomach, wuteve .. just to get the ball rolling . Its still an unknown ,of course, but you are dealing with the anxiety of halitophobia mainly .Its what you want to get off your chest with him primarily .

hali_grl · Post by **hali_grl** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 9:06 am

josef
yeah ofcourse he knows my bb is bad but he doesn't know how it affects my life and to what extent. His sister had a party friday night he wanted me to go i made up an excuse. He wants me to go to church with him this morning another excuse. I've been with him 10 years 5 of those years started bb free so yes i love him deeply and he loves me but im not the same funny, charming, confident woman he fell inlove with and i love him soooo much for dealing with my bb & the person it's made me become when he really doesn't have to so yes i would marry him & have his babies in a heartbeat.

deebo
ive decided to give myself a month to beat or control this thing with the products ive ordered so when all goes well (positive thinking

) i then wouldn't have to tell him. but if not then im going to let him know everything just how u said it about how im dealing with this, being open to suggestions, and letting him know it's a medical not hygiene problem. Thanks!

deebo · Post by **deebo** » Mon Sep 12, 2011 10:37 am

hali_grl wrote:
deebo
ive decided to give myself a month to beat or control this thing with the products ive ordered so when all goes well (positive thinking ) i then wouldn't have to tell him. but if not then im going to let him know everything just how u said it about how im dealing with this, being open to suggestions, and letting him know it's a medical not hygiene problem. Thanks!

trust that he can be understanding and helpful. i'd want to know if i were him . its really the only way he can make an informed decision .

Something to keep in mind is :most guys are logic based . We want to Fix problems . You 2 have invested lots of time and energy into each other. If hes been cool about your bb for this many years , its doubtful that telling him verbally about it will drive him away now.

i wish i had someone like that to test whether the pills and stuff were working . =)

Phantasist · Post by **Phantasist** » Tue Sep 13, 2011 5:48 pm

If you have been together with this man for ten years, then he obviously knows about your breath problem. He may think that it's just because you don't know how to brush your teeth properly.
But if you are contemplating marriage, then you have to be honest with him and tell him that it is a chronic condition for which there may or may not be a cure. Then the ball will be in his court, and he has to decide if he can live with that. But you also have to prepare yourself to accept his decision. The situation is a little difficult, but not insurmountable. It does require strength on your part, in case things don't work out.