Thick skin, that's me.

[jen]

Some of our members posted a while ago about not worrying about their bb anymore. I am naturally very thin skinned and very worried about what other people think of me and I've started praying, "God, if you are not going to heal me, please then help me not to mind so much."

When I was away for work a while ago, I missed a meal and ate a whole bag of cheese flavoured popcorn. Wow! Usually food doesn't affect my bb - or so I thought - but the next day my smell was 100 times worse. I was gross! Of course that had to be the day that I had to travel with my boss and some colleagues in the car for 2 hours. I was absolutely MORTIFIED and felt traumatized afterwards. I even felt a huge weight crushing my chest. I took sick leave for the rest of the week, because I couldn't face anyone. I wanted to curl up under the bed and just remove my offensive presence from everybody.

Then gradually I started feeling rather angry instead of ashamed. To hell with them all. Ok I stink, that's that. I usually nearly pass out from holding my breath when I'm with others even though I know it doesn't help. I don't do that anymore. Now I breathe freely and try to relax. I am tired of being pathetic. I smile and greet people and if they ignore me or frown at my audacity, well, then let them. I'm just going to live my life to the best of my ability. In the meantime I will still try to find a cure. But - I will never eat such strong smelling stuff again!

[halitosisux]

Jen I like to try to understand the psychology of this problem. I think it's quite natural for most people to feel mortified at the thought of others perceiving them as smelly.

Let me just say that I would rather be buried alive than to have bad breath and to be trapped in the back of a car between two others. When I look at a picture of a man in a space suit, I feel a sense of peace like nothing else can ever give me.

I can remember this guy I used to know when I went to college for a while. He was good looking, dressed really nicely, had no problem getting girlfriends etc. Every time we ever went back to our digs, or at every opportunity he could get, he'd brush his teeth, and I could never understand why because his breath always smelled of absolutely nothing but clean air. One day I asked him why, because it started to annoy me knowing that I wish it could be that simple for me too, and he said GOD I'D DIE if someone ever told me my breath stinks. And that moment really stuck in my mind, that perhaps my fears weren't so irrational afterall.

We all have a certain self-image that we try to uphold. That self-image is one which has become ingrained throughout our childhood.

It's analogous to a man's macho self-image. It's part of his self-preservation mechanism. Men dont cry unless they can't help it, they'll fight that emotional response because it's not masculine to cry. In the same way, women try to uphold certain lady-like attributes. But common to most of us is the fear of exposing any kind of unattractiveness that might make us undesirable. Only those who don't have this fear are the ones who dont care that their breath smells.

Someone who is gay will never feel free to "out" themselves until they are ready to be perceived as being gay and let go of any image of themselves that they've been holding onto. But once they do, they free themselves and are ready to be perceived differently.

In a way, that's what you are doing. Personally, I never had to come to this, but I was getting very close to "outing" myself as a smelly person and endeavouring to get on with life as this new person in the best way that I could. Plenty of people (obliviously or not to having BB) lead full and rewarding lives with bad breath. I see them every day in happy marriages, with children running around and a nice home and rewarding career.

[mike987]

I don't have thick skin.. and I want to end my ****ing life.

It takes one gesture or comment to ruin my ****ing day..
My roommate came in the door, first thing he says is "Whheww! Somebody laid a stinking turd in the toilet tonight!"



.. What the ***k you piece of shit prick.. Not only does it not smell bad at all by the toilet, no one used it since this morning! And I haven't even been near the door for the last 2 hours.

I said "So what, does it stink over there or something?" .. He says "Well when I came in the door it smelled like poo or a bad fart"

.... Okay.. so does this mean I really am filling rooms? WTF.. I was sitting at the kitchen table not doing anything but writing in a notebook. The only thing I can think is that he smelled the eggs I had boiled? Eggs don't smell like a bad fart.. eggs smell like eggs.

Last week he broke me down and convinced me to go out to a bar with him.. there weren't any girls and it was late, so we left to go to another bar.. went into a convenience store. When we decided to go to a different convenience store he said "Yeah, it smells like poo in this one anyway"

I said "Huh? Well the toilet's on the other side" (I don't know why I probe.. out of frustration I suppose) .. That ruined my evening right there.. I was feeling pretty confident up until that point.



.. I want to ****ing stick a knife in his ****ing eyes and take a shit in the holes. ***k you you piece of shit prick. If I hear you say 'smells like poo' one more god damn time I'm gonna punch you in the ****ing mouth.

We don't talk often and when we do I usually employ my best efforts or distance enough (I thought) to be comfortable while conversing.. So I guess he doesn't realize that it's me... Why would he though.. I know it's not fair for me to direct my hate at him like that.. he's oblivious to my problem, like most people would be.

Jesus... I want to die.. I want to ****ing die.

[halitosisux]

Mike, how can he possibly not realise it's you (if it is you)?? And if he does realise it's you, do you really think he'd say these things if he's hoping for you to hang out with him at bars etc?

Maybe it's him who smells or he can smell something up his own nose that only he can smell or something stupid like that, but that he thinks the smell is all around him. Does anyone else come out with the same comments as him?

If such a smell was coming from you, it'd be obvious it was coming from you.

My sister is a classic example of a person who for some really annoying reason is always going on about smells. It's almost like her own insecurity makes her do it. It's constant and I hear her doing it to everyone. My mum is a bit like it too, they just dont understand how dangerous their comments can be to HYPER sensitive people like us.

Just one thoughtless stupid comment or gesture is all it takes to make us think we MUST smell.

Dont let it get to you man. Even if it is you, there has to be a reason why it's happening. There's still lots of very hopeful things you haven't ruled out yet.

[mike987]

The other times it's when I've been talking closely. He just thinks someone farted.

He probably doesn't know it's me because it smells like farts, and who would expect such a thing from someone else's mouth? And I don't talk to him up close and personal.


I don't know about last night. Maybe he did just smell the eggs... it did seem unusual.. but I was in the apartment for a few hours, no windows open.. I know what it's like to come into a room for the first time after not having been in a place for awhile and catch the general smell of it. I just smelled no such thing..

His farts do smell really bad for whatever reason, but unless he was farting just as he opened the door, I don't think so... I think I would have sensed it.

I've had similar comments in classes but by now I think the kids all know it's me. I hate having to limit myself as a teacher and a human being by being as distant as possible..

Anyway it just destroys me. Yeah, I can't wait to take care of this problem...

[deebo]

boiled eggs are often loaded with sulfur http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 647AAmmGo5
He could maybe smell you cooked ,shelled and ate them but its also likely that the same egg smell was emanating from you after eating them .

People are strange . I learned not to be paranoid about it but i don't put anything out of possibilities with folks . And people choose weird ways of dealing with odd situations(bb,your & theirs) often to be Politically correct or avoid ruffled feathers .

When we were kids ,we would just say "man.. you got doo doo breath !! " or "Jo Bref STanK !! " . Sorted in seconds flat. Now ,as law abiding adult ,we can go literal Years with bb/bo,etc and have no clue because of these bullsh!t hint and social Codes .

Also , as we know, we mainly sense Changes in odor . If you work at a sewage plant ,you may only smell it when arriving at work for a few minutes ,then nothing. So your roommate walking in the door is hit by the new smell but it diminishes in minutes ,even with the smell still kickin . Its not likely always there .

I wouldn't put it past a roommate to take you to a bar so his buddies could secretly come by your apartment to witness the odor ! anyways..I think it helps to put myself in the 'smellers' shoes. What would I say or do ? What can calm the smell ? Is it better if he were blunt ? Maybe bluntly tell him so .
I was in the building hallway a few months ago getting the elevator . I walked past some girls and said 'hello' or whatever. They are like "PFEwww!! smell like somebody Farted up in here!!" fanning their face . I held the elevator door for them . Now this is 3 obese black girls . Taking the stairs 5 stories down on a hot day . So I know what you mean about 'room filling ' bb. But personally i really welcomed their straight forward bluntness for a change . I did not kid myself. My breath was not good that day .
My parent pulled the car over at a gas station , gets out, no gas, comes back with water and gum . Asking "did you brush your teeth this morning ?". Not good that day .
In class i answer a question . The lady in front of me suddenly appearing as if birds are dive bombing her head ,looking up and fanning frantically . .She asks "do you smell that ?!" . Not good . Is this the extent of my existence ? 'That guy with bad breath' ? No way . I know its not every day . Even if it was ,we are all Much more than what we are judged as . Right ?

[ihatethebus]

Yep. Cooked eggs stink n i have 2 leave the kitchen to avoid throwing up if sum1 decides to boil/fryan egg while am in the kitchen to avoiding puking. Havnt eaten an egg in 12 years. Not willing to split hairs but eggs smell, but dont smell like shit. Thats probably yo mike. Gotta learn to live with it. U are the bb and the bb is u

[hali_grl]

mike
i agree with deebo ppl have a way of telling us things indirectly to prevent any hurt feelings or bad blood. i had no idea i was a room filler until this past holiday after rude remarks were made by my brother, his friend, & our cousin all talking about me behind my back but still in ear shot distance so they had to know i heard them (im tearing up right now just thinking about my own blood talking about me like that &how low ,hurt, and embarassed i felt i spent x-mas crying my eyes out ). my sis, mom, dad, aunt, grandmother have all made remarks. thats why i love my bf so deeply bc he has never ever once tried to hurt my feelings or mentioned my bb and unlike my family he's not stuck with me i dont know why he loves me and want to be with me .

[mike987]

Ugh... Even when I feel good about my breath, apparently it smells just the same, .. same shit all the time..


I went to hang out with some acquaintances/friends today. We went to a game center.. played air hockey.. I felt pretty good about my breath.

Then we went to Outback Steakhouse. I ordered from a gluten free menu, which kind of seemed annoying to do in front of people.. I normally never eat out.. Eat the same 3 or4 things all the time at home.

Anyway, it wasn't the food.. I just started eating... I guess it could be the small amount of alcohol I had, but I used to feel like while I was drinking, my breath would stay okay... Well after dinner, the one dude who doesn't really speak English .. he gave me a piece of gum and said 'Present' .. then gave this single 'Hah' ..Yeah ***k you guy..

Then later, we did Karaoke (jesus, what a situation to be in..) .. Well, it didn't seem room filling this time (but who knows)... but my one lady friend who I can sometimes get pretty close with.. She was near me until I started singing... I did my best to sing out of other's directions, but I guess my head moved near them.. anyway soon after she pulled the other lady over to her, whispered in her ear, and I heard the word Japanese word 'gross' ... ***k you people. You have no ****ing idea....

I escaped into the bathroom, brushed the back of my tongue, gargled with some baking soda, and didn't have any apparent reactions after that (though I was more careful than ever and didn't have any more drinks) and I was able to be a little closer with my one friend as we were about to say goodbye before getting on the subway.... I know if I didn't always have shit breath she'd consider me to be her boyfriend... We've been so close before, but I have to jump through hoops to keep up 'the act'.


I'm going to use the praziquantel tomorrow... I hope I have severe symptoms taking the drug.. that would indicate parasites dying off... Man.. if I could be BB free... wow... They would see me as a completely new person.. I'm pretty good looking (well, somewhat handsome for a short guy).. smart.. talented... but BB weighs me down and kills my motivation for life. I want to impress them.. I want to show them who I really am without them revolting in disgust.

.. The others were drinking too.. When I was sitting right next to the girl I'm really into before we said goodbye.. well, I could smell her alcohol breath for a moment... Smelled wonderful.. Pleasant actually... I WANT THAT. I want that so bad... I've made out with her before in the past.. I desperately swished her saliva around in my mouth, hoping it was somehow take over my own breath....

Then on the way home, this completely drunken disfigured woman confronted me and asked if I'd teach her English. It was a little strange, but I felt bad, so I kept talking to her. She was so drunk she could barely speak, but she must have a decent grasp of the English language, or have learned it at some point in her life because it was pretty good... She just sounded like she was going to collapse at any moment.. Anyway, even her breath wasn't that bad Hell, it was more than tolerable. Give her a mint and she'd have had great breath
... I can't lie to people and I can't say no,.. Just can't... so I ended up giving her some of my personal info and rather than ride my bike from the station, walked with her for 40 minutes since she asked. I guess it was nice to get some appreciation. She kissed me on the cheek when I let her go and told her how to get home from where I had to depart.

[deebo]

Your bravery is commendable bud . You are getting out there and testing the waters. I think its important to see that most of this is reaction to our breath , Not us. Otherwise friends would never interact with us.

Its really confusing though how we react to their reactions . Would i want ppl to not say a thing ,letting me think my b is fine when it isnt ? Do i want them to make a scene and be loud and public about my bb ? What do we expect ? I can't really control my breath, can't really control ppls reaction . I only work on curbing my own. My expectations .

Gotta be honest with myself, cause they won't . i'm working up the balls to when i see obvious reactions(nose rubs, coughs,reeling back) i want to say "..it is my breath ?" or "please excuse my breath today.". Its not our fault ,and not in our control ..yet

[ruthere1]

I agree. There are so many nights that I love just going out and drinking so I won't think much about my breath. And another good thing is that most drunk people don't care about my breath, or at least they never comment or react to it. I wish people could be that way all the time. Why does my breath have to be so bad? I feel like crying and hiding from the world when people comment or react to my smell. It sucks because I feel so lonely and don't have good friends because of my breath. It seems like people don't want to be friends with the person with bb.

[mike987]

...Okay, so apparently that disfigured strange drunk woman I met the other day... well the next day when I woke up and turned on my phone, I had 3 text messages, a shit ton of missed calls, and 3 voice mails... WHAT THE HELL.

She's been calling every at least once every waking hour non stop since yesterday Morning.. I'm really scared here. I turned my phone off when I went to work today, turned it on, and low and behold, there were more missed calls and voice mails from the same number... This person is psychotic.

It was hella expensive, but I got my phone number changed... From now on I don't give out my number, even if it is just to be a nice person.

It's a shame that the one person in the world who didn't seem to care about my breath (though at the time she was so absurdly drunk I think her sense of smell was completely shot) is an utter lunatic.

[elliott]

Mike, your story reminds me a bit of a guy I used to sit next to at a freelance job. Funny, his breath didn't stink when he spoke, but every now and then he'd just whiff this straight fart smell, and you would never know it was him if you didn't sit next to him. Me knowing that smells can possibly be related to our own *issues* I suspected he was having nasal farts.
They would happen out of nowhere, and the smell was non-directional. I know it's him because he's the only other person there, and later I also noticed that he carried some nasal prescriptions.

But yeah, it was like he'd just fart. No one normal would imagine that it would be anything else. It was simply nasal farts.

[halitosisux]

elliott, maybe they were real farts from this guy?