Surrender to the will of God
Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:11 pm
One year ago I started to suffer from BB. I started to suffer from excess post nasal drip. My first GP gave the wrong diagnoses (sinus infection).
Steroids and antibiotics didn't do anything for me.
Yesterday I saw an ENT doctor, my sinuses look very healthy, no infection, no polyps. The only thing is that my inferior turbinate is enlarged. A turbinate-reduction might or might not reduce the post nasal drip as it seems that the membranes of my sinuses just react overactive in general on heat/cold etc(I'm not allergic).
In the past year I've emotionally suffered a lot. Things like talking to people became a sacrifice. In this period I started a new job and it affected my work as it was hard for me to consult colleagues for advice, I was locked up in my body, couldn't express myself.
I became isolated. I have very nice friends who accepts me the way I am but emotionally it was to exhausting to meet with them.
When I reflect on this episode of my life, it should have been the worse I ever had to go through. When I look at it from the outside it was. Maybe it was in some way but there was also a peace I can't describe. The time I spent alone I read religious books, I visited mass, I cooked healthy meals. I knew, God was there. He heard my desire to "heal" from this, but God permits it in my life (at this moment). Nothing that happens in our Life, happens outside the will of God. The only reason why He permits things in our life, is because in a mystical way He can turn it into something positive. Everything He permits is for our own good.
I do not understand why, I am sometimes crying so sad am I, but I know in his infinite wisdom, He decided that it is good this way.
For the ones who are religious, there is many books written about "complete surrender to the will of God".
Steroids and antibiotics didn't do anything for me.
Yesterday I saw an ENT doctor, my sinuses look very healthy, no infection, no polyps. The only thing is that my inferior turbinate is enlarged. A turbinate-reduction might or might not reduce the post nasal drip as it seems that the membranes of my sinuses just react overactive in general on heat/cold etc(I'm not allergic).
In the past year I've emotionally suffered a lot. Things like talking to people became a sacrifice. In this period I started a new job and it affected my work as it was hard for me to consult colleagues for advice, I was locked up in my body, couldn't express myself.
I became isolated. I have very nice friends who accepts me the way I am but emotionally it was to exhausting to meet with them.
When I reflect on this episode of my life, it should have been the worse I ever had to go through. When I look at it from the outside it was. Maybe it was in some way but there was also a peace I can't describe. The time I spent alone I read religious books, I visited mass, I cooked healthy meals. I knew, God was there. He heard my desire to "heal" from this, but God permits it in my life (at this moment). Nothing that happens in our Life, happens outside the will of God. The only reason why He permits things in our life, is because in a mystical way He can turn it into something positive. Everything He permits is for our own good.
I do not understand why, I am sometimes crying so sad am I, but I know in his infinite wisdom, He decided that it is good this way.
For the ones who are religious, there is many books written about "complete surrender to the will of God".