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Sometimes people think i dont want to interact with them. I avoid going to parent teacher conferences, getting my hair done, going to the nail salon. Just about anything that i ahve to have direct contact with people. And i feel like a horrible moma nd person but im so tored of embarrassing my family my kids. As they grow older im sure my reputation will follow them around. And it devastates me! My faith is tested time and time again. Because i ask mysyhow can GoD punish me this way? Is there really a God? Did he really give me this crappy life and im just supposed to deal with it! Its unfair. I would love to go to chrrch with my family but for what? To embarrase my husband? My kids? To have people criticize me? I cant anymore. I need and want to put an end to this agony!
I know your pain Morena. I have always enjoyed alone time but ever since I realized this problem I find myself alone a lot more. It's stressful and painful to be out with people. I'll try to let myself relax and enjoy my time and usually someone will make a comment at some point and I will be so disappointed. I've gone home and cried myself to sleep. But what keeps me going is imagining how wonderful life will be once I have my confidence back. While this is a living hell, I know that if ever I can live a normal life again I will never take it for granted and appreciate the simplest things.
Sadface wrote:I know your pain Morena. I have always enjoyed alone time but ever since I realized this problem I find myself alone a lot more. It's stressful and painful to be out with people. I'll try to let myself relax and enjoy my time and usually someone will make a comment at some point and I will be so disappointed. I've gone home and cried myself to sleep. But what keeps me going is imagining how wonderful life will be once I have my confidence back. While this is a living hell, I know that if ever I can live a normal life again I will never take it for granted and appreciate the simplest things.
Hello, yes this is terrible indeed. People take for granted what some of us would die for. Its horrible. I pray that we can find a cure every day i find myself asking the greater power for an answer. Hopefully this forum will help us understand better.
Its actually funny for the past 15 or so years my only birthday wish has been "please God let me find a cure. Please no more stinky breath." Thats ALL! Never asked for money or a new car. Just that! To be normal!
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