Maybe there are some silver linings?
Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 8:37 am
Hi everyone,
Firstly, I’d like to thank Jimi for running and operating this forum. I promise to donate soon.
I’ve had bad breath my whole life. I remember the first time I was told. It was by my grandma and I was maybe 6?
FYI I am currently a 40yo woman.
Grandma said both my brother and I had it. I cannot smell it on him so I am unsure if he still suffers...
It has destroyed many potential relationships, most before they began.
Luckily, I am very attractive and men as it turns out are willing to overlook this issue.
Although, I am always VERY careful what type of men I have allowed to get close enough to date/ kiss/ sleep with etc.
Only quiet, kind and sensitive men.
I would say my chronic bad breath has at various times blessing in disguise because it has done several things in my favour.
Firstly, I desperately wanted a young man that I was crazy in love with as a young girl and then young woman. I did become his girlfriend but nerves make my breath 100 x worse and if was ****ing unbearable for both of us.
But on the plus side, he was terribly abusive - he was actually expelled from our high school for having a previous girlfriend bashed.,, he also later became a heroin addict which he remains to this day.
If it weren’t for my B.B. I probably would have married him and I am not joking.
There were several other boys that I missed out on dating, guys that pursued me and I wanted them too but I was too ashamed to let them close.
Another potential positive is that I think I had the potential to have been a real slut.
My sex drive has always been extreme, but because of B.B. I did not lose my virginity until I was 18.
I have only slept with 8 men total, and I married 2 of them.
I had many, many sexual opportunities as I lived with my single mother growing up and she was totally neglectful, as a result I spent lots of time with the neighbourhood guys... but I felt I couldn’t indulge the way my friends did.
One final positive, although this is multifactoral, is that I am an excellent romantic and life partner.
My boyfriends and husbands have always really loved me. I have always totally devoted myself to them and their needs during our relationships.
As a result I have always been able to call the shots.
I say it is multifactoral because my mother is an ignoring narcissist and spending my entire childhood vying for her attention helped me to learn how to be cute, charming, funny, entertaining and disarming.
BUT, on the negative side. And this shouldn’t be minimised...
My B.B. has brought me terrible mental health issues, I have had two major nervous breakdowns. The first was when I broke up with that guy I mentioned earlier.
My breakdown was so bad that I left school and had to repeat the year. (Grade 11)
My second was my first year of university. My breakdown was because I was away at school, really, really broke and feeling so much alone.
I felt unlovable and I had never needed to be loved more.
I finally married in 2001 for the first time, but I left him shortly after.
I married again in 2007 and we are still together.
He, my current husband has mentioned my breath to me. He still wants to kiss me (Christ knows why?) but I rarely kiss on the lips and avoid breathing on people as a rule.
This affliction is really heartbreaking, but for me, I must reluctantly admit it might have helped me in some ways...
My love to you all xxx
Firstly, I’d like to thank Jimi for running and operating this forum. I promise to donate soon.
I’ve had bad breath my whole life. I remember the first time I was told. It was by my grandma and I was maybe 6?
FYI I am currently a 40yo woman.
Grandma said both my brother and I had it. I cannot smell it on him so I am unsure if he still suffers...
It has destroyed many potential relationships, most before they began.
Luckily, I am very attractive and men as it turns out are willing to overlook this issue.
Although, I am always VERY careful what type of men I have allowed to get close enough to date/ kiss/ sleep with etc.
Only quiet, kind and sensitive men.
I would say my chronic bad breath has at various times blessing in disguise because it has done several things in my favour.
Firstly, I desperately wanted a young man that I was crazy in love with as a young girl and then young woman. I did become his girlfriend but nerves make my breath 100 x worse and if was ****ing unbearable for both of us.
But on the plus side, he was terribly abusive - he was actually expelled from our high school for having a previous girlfriend bashed.,, he also later became a heroin addict which he remains to this day.
If it weren’t for my B.B. I probably would have married him and I am not joking.
There were several other boys that I missed out on dating, guys that pursued me and I wanted them too but I was too ashamed to let them close.
Another potential positive is that I think I had the potential to have been a real slut.
My sex drive has always been extreme, but because of B.B. I did not lose my virginity until I was 18.
I have only slept with 8 men total, and I married 2 of them.
I had many, many sexual opportunities as I lived with my single mother growing up and she was totally neglectful, as a result I spent lots of time with the neighbourhood guys... but I felt I couldn’t indulge the way my friends did.
One final positive, although this is multifactoral, is that I am an excellent romantic and life partner.
My boyfriends and husbands have always really loved me. I have always totally devoted myself to them and their needs during our relationships.
As a result I have always been able to call the shots.
I say it is multifactoral because my mother is an ignoring narcissist and spending my entire childhood vying for her attention helped me to learn how to be cute, charming, funny, entertaining and disarming.
BUT, on the negative side. And this shouldn’t be minimised...
My B.B. has brought me terrible mental health issues, I have had two major nervous breakdowns. The first was when I broke up with that guy I mentioned earlier.
My breakdown was so bad that I left school and had to repeat the year. (Grade 11)
My second was my first year of university. My breakdown was because I was away at school, really, really broke and feeling so much alone.
I felt unlovable and I had never needed to be loved more.
I finally married in 2001 for the first time, but I left him shortly after.
I married again in 2007 and we are still together.
He, my current husband has mentioned my breath to me. He still wants to kiss me (Christ knows why?) but I rarely kiss on the lips and avoid breathing on people as a rule.
This affliction is really heartbreaking, but for me, I must reluctantly admit it might have helped me in some ways...
My love to you all xxx