My story

[TiredofbeingTired]

This might be long, so bare with me...

I’m convinced that I wasn’t supposed to enjoy life during this lifetime. I have been stressed, and have been suffering extreme anxiety and depression for the past 4 years. I have been dealing with this issue for almost a decade and it seems like every year it’s getting worse. I first found out I had bb in the 6th grade. I was talking to these two girls in science class (back then I was very outgoing, it upsets me so much just thinking about how I was then vs how I am now). Next thing I know, the bell was ringing and everyone was packing their bags up to go to the next class. I overheard the girl on my left say to herself “her breath is humming”. I was so embarrassed. I was the one sitting the closest to her so I knew she was talking about me and not the other girl. Ever since that day my life hasn’t been the same.

There would be multiple occasions where I had to put up with sly and cruel comments made by my peers. I attended an all girls school from 6th to 8th grade, and you know how girls can be. CATTY and PETTY! I remember my class and I was waiting for the teacher to let us in. There was an orange tic tac on the floor and I don’t remember exactly what this girl said but she was pointing towards it and telling me to eat it. Her friend was snickering behind her. I also remember when I told two of my friends at the time, that I knew my breath has some type of odor, and they were smiling/giggling while pretending to be clueless saying “what?!! No, no you don’t”. Which I knew was an absolute lie because too many people were saying something. At that time I would brush my teeth for a looooooong time. Literally scrubbing the ***k out of my teeth, tongue, gums, and the roof of my mouth, causing irritation and soreness. Fast forward to 7th grade and I was starting to search up symptoms, tonsil stones kept popping up several times but I didn’t think anything of it. Around this time I told my mother about my situation and she has been helping me find a solution ever since (I’m really grateful for her I don’t know what I would do without her). She would buy gum for me every morning from the convenience store in the train station, however I knew this was not putting a stop to anything because I remember on an ice skating field trip this girl and her friend were having a convo by me but I wasn’t facing them. I don’t know how it started but I heard one girl say “yeah it smells very bad” and the other girl agreed saying that you can still smell it even while there was gum in my mouth. Another painful memory was when my classmates and I were standing outside because we were going on another trip, and it was extremely cold (New York weather during the winter is the absolute worse). This girl I knew was telling me and some other girl how cold she was, she then stood in front of me and said “aaah, much better” as if my breath was warming her up. I literally can go on and on with traumatic memories that still scar me and make me cry to this day, but I’m trying to make this short as possible. I went to one ENT, my orthodontist, regular doctor, and a dentist and they all said nothing was wrong.

In high school I went to a regular boys and girls school, and the same things were occurring. I had the courage to tell and ask two of my new friends at two different times about my breath and they both told me sometimes it smelled and sometimes it didn’t. They also apologized about being rude, etc. I told another friend of mine and she had the same reaction as the two “friends” I told in middle school, acting as if she smelled nothing and I was delusional. After my sophomore year, my family and I moved to another state and I had to finish up high school. This is when shit really hit the fan and I became emotionally unstable. I was going to multiple physicians, ENTs, and gastroenterologist. They kept saying they didn’t see anything but was making me take multiple antibiotics, making my breath worse. People were smelling it even when I was a couple of feet away. My bb was filling up the room where ever I went. I was skipping classes, isolating myself and super lonely. I was crying every other day. One day I was just fed up and went to my guidance counselor. I told her I didn’t want to go to class and other things. She took that as me hinting to her that I wanted to commit s*****e (which I wouldn’t dare because I’m too scared to do that), I just went along with it. My father was so pissed. I told him little cliffs about my situation a couple of weeks before that day and he made it seem like this was all in my head. My father drove me to the facility that my counselor referred us to. I had to stay for a whole week (it felt like a month). I met so many people my age that were feeling the same way I was emotionally. It was so refreshing, knowing I wasn’t the only one. There I was told I had social anxiety by a psychologist. After the 7 days, it was time to do a meeting with one of the workers at the facility and my parents. This was to see if I made progress or needed to stay longer. She talk about her experience with tonsil stones, and shortly after my mother made an appointment with an ENT. The ENT doctor finally found one (my dad finally believed me), I got the surgery and I thought I was finally able to live my life but nope. I was back at square one.Still having to deal with rude comments. It was extremely rough because a lot of guys would try to approach me, but would back off when I was being standoff ish or if they smelled it. This was so upsetting especially when some were cute. My mid to late teenage years were the absolute worse!!!

I finished up my last two years of high school (my gpa was really affected because of me skipping school). Had to go to a community college and i just transfer to my dream school. I also got my first job. My social anxiety was getting worse and I was enduring the same rude comments from students, customers, etc.. My social anxiety was really extreme, causing me to look through my peripheral vision without me noticing it ( I guess to see if the people around me were smelling anything). Many people were thinking that I was staring at them intentionally when I wasn’t. I literally walk around with shades and/or hold my head down to avoid this. I also switched to online courses to finish my first two years.

Next fall semester is going to be the start of my junior year of college and I’ve decided to go on campus. After all the doctors, tests, x-rays, antibiotics, and emotional and mental suffering, I’ve decided to put a stop to all of this. I want to find a cure, I want to make friends. I’m tired of feeling lonely. This whole situation fucked up my psyche, but it also taught me a lot. I’ve learned how to love myself more, and pull myself out of a funk whenever I’m feeling down about my situation. I’m still learning how to not care about what others say or think. Every now and then my mind somehow finds a way to play painful flashbacks from the past, making me cry. The doctors have fucked up my insides so bad. Prior to taking the antibiotics I just had dry mouth and tonsil stones. After the antibiotics I have dry mouth, white coated tongue, abdomen pains/ ibs (semi-painful bowel movements, growling stomach), food doesn’t digest properly, and mucous in the back of my nose. The doctors have said they seen a little bit of inflammation in the lining of my stomach and my nasal passage but nothing that they considered major. I tried saline nose sprays/neti pots, allergy shots, antibiotics like I stated above, peroxide, parsley, diets, every damn thing and no results. I’m going to try cutting foods out, such as dairy, and red meat. I’m looking into the blood type diet as well. I hope I wasn’t all over the place with my story I just needed to express how I feel. I’m currently 20 years old and I don’t want to spend my 20’s like how I spent my teenage years. My dream career requires a lot of communication and I just want to live life to the fullest without any worries about having bb. If anyone has the same symptoms like I currently do or a similar story, feel free to comment. Also don’t mind my grammar I was trying to summarize late 2011 up until now the best way I could.

[KL123]

yeah dude ... we all have been through this.
But at least this forum is a good place to vent it out.

Since the cause of this shit is unknown, there is no permanent cure. However, since you are young, your generation has more hope as new exploration is done in gene therapy.

If I was you, I would make my peace with a few things. First, accept the ground reality and bitter facts that face to face communication is our weakest link. So any job that requires a lot of mouth blabbering is simply not for us. But since we gotta pay our bills we gotta find work. So I would channel my future where I could make reasonably good money by working from home or from a back office. Software development is one such field where the chances of working from home are better than the rest. You also have fields like legal assistant/secretary, medical billing etc.

The reason is, you do not want to add 8 hours of additional stress on an already battered brain. If you are at work at an office, your brain will continuously think about this shit. You simply won't be able to focus and be productive to your potential. But if you work from home, you will at least have less worry.

Second, follow the eliminate process to see what is NOT the cause of your BB.
Get tested for SIBO, Hiatial Hernia, H Pylori if you haven't already.
Then move on to see if any of close family members have the same issue? If yes, it will probably open you up into looking at genetic disorders that cause BB.

Also, find someone local in your area who has the same issue and they are willing to meet up. Do your research and make sure it's safe to meet someone from online. It may help to take it off of your chest once in a while.

[Freshhope]

Hi welcome, thanks for sharing. I think we can all relate to your story. This odour condition literally effects all facets of our life. We all understand what your dealing with. I literally hold my breathe to just walk to check my mail. Not because I have to I just have trained myself to check if the coast is clear before I start breathing. Your really young and have just started your journey .

Life is not going to be easy and yes you will develop unbelievable mental resilience to cope with our issue. Sometimes we even have to create a lie in our head or alternate reality but there’s no shame in wanting to survive and live in this world.

Your very mature for your age . I am nearly a decade older than you and only have just started to try to be open with dealing with my odour issue. It has been on the back of my mind for ever but luckily was able to find jobs that I could manage . It hasn’t been easy. I am a sympathetic person when I see someone having reactions to me and they comment or get offended I just go else where . I try not to get angry or take it personal it’s just a natural response . As for your parents it’s good your mum is supportive but unfortunately there’s only so much they can do for you. I think a lot of parents don’t want to admit there is a problem with there offspring , who knows

Funny things I can relate to from your post . The peripheral vision lol. Sometimes I do that or have a glance back after an interaction with someone just to see there reaction. I think we are hyper sensitive with bodily language. Most times I try not to be that way being hyper sensitive makes things awkward.

Another interesting thing is the social anxiety part of it. Is it the bad odour and reactions that gave you this condition. Or is it social anxiety that gives you the halitosis. I often wander this. I have a little nervous energy before a date or social event or whatever but I can really push through it cause obviously I want to have a good time in life and I know I will have a good time when I get there. When we I have to go have a social interaction. First thing I think is how can I cover my odour where can I stand where can I sit to avoid reactions. Thankfully most people love to talk about themselves and most times you can get by with saying one word replies

Anyway thanks for sharing , your story gave me comfort that I’m not alone. Stay strong

[Kh mer]

Let’s be friend . We have the same problem

[Gelonaxy]

Hi ! Do you have nasal bb? what exactly has been examined so far?
The support of your family seems to be great. I hope you can find your cause quickly !!