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CANDIDA CRUSHER
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Think of one moment more than others where you wish you were
Think of one moment more than others where you wish you were
The one day out of the 30 years I asked and hoped that I would be spared of bb was the day I got married. Nope, no rescue!!
So here I was with my bb and guests are coming over to say congratulations and I am smiling at them without saying anything back. My hubby is all smiles and chatting with each guest, thank God!!!
If I was a guest there I would have assumed the bride (me) is a weirdo or had an attitude problem or they must have smelled the bb and got grossed out. I have never ever been to a wedding where the bride and groom had bb, I know because that would stick out in my mind.
I have never ever had one day free of bb and just one day, one day I had hoped I would be spared. WHAT A JOKE!!!
It is the other people who will let you know or show that they can smell it.
My boyfriend's mother came to stay with us in our flat.
BAD IDEA.
She started to give me bad feelings. like turning away when I speak.
I even tried not to sit close to her but that caused a problem and my boyfriend got upset. I told him off.
Anyways, I get invited to his family/cousins party /dinners. I dont go. They are lovely people but I cant be around them. I overheard one of them saying quietly behind my back' she smells.
My boyfriend is upset that I dont go out anymore and it is causing a rift between us. Much more than badbreath.
He told me that he bought tickets for us to go out in October and he said dont even think up any excuse why you cant go. Well, I told him outright that I dont want to go. I cant bear to be in a crowded public place sitting next to other people.
I think me not going out anymore is destroying our relationship. He says he is tired of telling his family that I am sick. He is more tired of my excuses than anything else.
Drastic
I isolate myself and maybe pushing my boyfriend away. He says he cant understand why I am like this. But I do think that he smells my breath. He does because he rubs his nose and to tell you the truth.
Halihope. When we go to his family he complains later than I dont talk to them that I am too quiet. Then I tell him off for leaving me alone with his family. Anywhich way I am stressed. When I am around him I feel comfortable no stress but bring others into the picture and I get panic attacks.
I just cant bear to sit next to someone at a concert or wherever else he wants to take me. I simply cant go. If he doesnt understand, then tough luck. I decide not to put myself into that position again. People say mean things to me when I go out.
Drastic
I cannot even describe when I look through magazines and see successful women traveling and doing all the things that I always wanted to do but I know I can't. I always wanted to work in fashion etc but how can I with the bb??? I have always been an underachiever in all aspects because of this disease. I hate when people say you can do it, go for it because the element of bb is something that no one is taking into equation!!! I am by no means lazy and always keep trying as long as it does not include socializing with others.
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