talking to people

[waitingforrelief]

what kind of response makes you feel the best when you talk to people about your bb problem? what makes you feel bad?

i just recently talked to my therapist about it. she not only validated my suffering by acknowledging how horrible having this condition is, but she even said "no, you shouldn't have to deal with something like that daily, it's horrible." (just thinking about her saying that makes me want to cry now.) sometimes even when someone, out of love, tells you that you shouldn't make such a big deal out of it because it's not a big deal - is somehow not comforting at all. she also kept trying to talk about it as a health issue, to explore what might cause or remedy it. which has helped me bypass the shame issue a little bit, because that's what it is - a health issue, just like a cold or a sinus infection. it's not something that's wrong with our persons, but our bodies. granted, since she knows nothing about real halitosis, her medical advice was not really constructive. and when i let her know that all her ideas wouldn't/didn't work, she didn't seem helpless/hopeless.

so for me, basically an acknowledgement of my emotional suffering and sincere sympathy for it, and also a pragmatic approach to the fact that this is a medical issue and not be embarrassed about it and want to help me explore options are some things that make me feel supported.

[oceanside]

Beutifully said, WFR.

We are amongs some of the most brilliant, strong and determined people in the face of hardship. We are survivers.

We have hearts of gold, compassionate, and empathytic of others who are suffering, because we know how it feels to have to suffer.

[Busted]

Your therapist is very understanding. Unlike all the other ignorant people out there. It's always easy to say that something is no big deal as long as you haven't experienced it yourself.

[Iris]

I also did not have any real understanding from those people who I opened my real feelings about my problem, which is a big deal for me. Last month when my friend and I went out for a lunch, I had to say to her why I am not eating the same food as before. First, she was curious to know which kind of food bother me. We talked about that. Later on, she forgot about my diet and invited me again to have a snack in another place. I said, I cannot go there. Then, she asked me: "Are you doing all these efforts just for your bad breath?" I realized then that she could not understand my feelings, my suffer, my life. For her, BB is not a big deal. For me, this is what made me behave so different from my adolescent times. That time, I did not notive any reactions from people. I think this friend, who I talk to, does not smell my breath all the times because when we lived in the same dorm, she rarely reacted to my breath, just sometimes. Also, she used to made me feel that I did not have bad breath by the way she used to talk to me very close, the way she asked me to eat and drink at the same glass and plate, by her wishes to stay always close. She is not the only friend who does that. This is why I think some people cannot smell my breath always, but unfortunately others can. My husband also says that I should not do a big deal for that because it is not bad all the time. However, I think if it was not so bad, people would not react. So, for me the best way to know how is my breath is talking with someone who always react. On the other hand, I have to say that one of my professors always covers her nose when someone is talking to her. It does not matter who is talking, she always does that with everyone. It is a kind of weird behavior to do that with everyone. She is funny though.