its so sapping when the ones you hope you can trust just shit on us and are dishonest . I'm so sorry to hear this story H-Grl , but very glad to hear of your new found mettle because of it . Sometimes it sure is easier to see a clearer path through our problems without having to deal with the drama and games of a close relationship . Don't get me wrong , a sexual connection with someone would be fabulous , but for me it would be extraneous if the person was not equally honest about the bb at least.
To think back on an old gf, I went through a similar story before i knew i had bb. I'll admit ,i'm socially inept in a lot of ways and never got her or anyones hints about my bb ,so I Really require straight forward ,blunt honesty more than most . But even if I got the hints ,i think relationships with a huge weird secret like bb are very flimsy when its not in the open .
We all are seeing how this situation can fortify or break us in the long run . I am so grateful for the perspective and support you all give . I cant even explain how much this community helps me cope daily .
You are not alone .
i feel so lonely :-(
To have a husband and child makes it both better and worse. I'm trying to lead a normal life as far as I can for their sake but sometimes I resent being exposed to situations which I would have avoided if I was alone, like going to church and sitting so close to other people. I hate it and the hurt is so bad that I constantly have to try to swallow and hide the tears so that others don't see. I would simply have listened to services on TV if I were alone.
On the other hand I feel so bad for them, because they are exposed to my bb all the time and if we are in company they must obviously feel ashamed of me - though they never say or show anything.
At work I am also not ridiculed or anything, but I do feel very lonely and isolated, because I have to keep my distance at all times and everybody is so social. We go away for courses and for work and I would always try to sit and eat alone, because I don't want to put people off their food.
I sometimes wish I could show my family and colleagues these posts so that they can see I'm not the only one. This condition is so rare, they do not know other people with chronic bb. The experiences shared by my fellow bb sufferers here make me sad, but help me to deal with things better, because at least I know there are others like me. I love the openness with which sensitive things are discussed, because I cannot discuss these things with anybody. The silence around this issue in the normal world makes it so shameful, unlike other diseases and disorders.
On the other hand I feel so bad for them, because they are exposed to my bb all the time and if we are in company they must obviously feel ashamed of me - though they never say or show anything.
At work I am also not ridiculed or anything, but I do feel very lonely and isolated, because I have to keep my distance at all times and everybody is so social. We go away for courses and for work and I would always try to sit and eat alone, because I don't want to put people off their food.
I sometimes wish I could show my family and colleagues these posts so that they can see I'm not the only one. This condition is so rare, they do not know other people with chronic bb. The experiences shared by my fellow bb sufferers here make me sad, but help me to deal with things better, because at least I know there are others like me. I love the openness with which sensitive things are discussed, because I cannot discuss these things with anybody. The silence around this issue in the normal world makes it so shameful, unlike other diseases and disorders.
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Word_Is_Bond
- Total Newbie
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I agree! My family's like "other people deal with problems too like acne and being overweight." But those people have an open community. They have Proactive and NutriSystem commercials. We don't. We have nothing. And bb is so taboo that no one can come out right and say they have a problem. I don't mean to downgrade the importance or severity of other conditions. But let's face it, if you tell someone you have chronic bb they're more like to laugh than they would if you told them you were an emotional eater or something. No one takes it seriously. All you hear is "chew gum" or "maybe you should try flossing".jen wrote:The silence around this issue in the normal world makes it so shameful, unlike other diseases and disorders.
i have felt lonely for 3 years and i know that i will probably will always feel lonely. my parents have never bought BB up with me and part of me feels like i am letting them down. my 3 siblings are either married or in a long term relationship and i know i will never be. talking to blokes with this problem is hard but talking to girls i find even harder. i know i will never have a relationship. i am even still living with my parents and i should be finding a place of my own but i have no fight or go in me to do anything. every day is basically the same for me now, just one long struggle. i dont talk to anyone about this problem. i am usually just in my own world and alot of people probably think i am weird, including my parents and family. i just want to end it but i aint got the guts. at least then i could leave a letter explaining to my parents why i have been such a letdown
I love this forum as well bc of the open honest dialect, the inspirational stories, and just to know we are not alone. I share more w/ u guys than i ever would w/ family or friends. Here it is labor day my mom and sis has been calling me all day about a family bbq there having but ive been avoiding the calls i have no more excuses or apologizes. my family thinks im so strange bc of my distance they always say what happen u never used to be like this but i think they know why it's literally obvious. but im here to tell u folks that i feel as though im coming to the end of the road w/ this bb it may sound crazy but i feel it in my spirit i went to bed smiling last nite. i will proclaim life and experience the joys and happiness living carefree has to bring. when we overcome this we will live each day to the fullest we will have such a new bright outlook on life. then ppl will say what has gotten into her not bc of reclusiveness but bc ill have more spirit, liveliness, and character than them all combined because ive learned to appreciate life & literally just breathing. i look forward to that fast approaching day! 
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Jimi Stein
- Site Admin
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- Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2004 8:00 am
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i am lonely too, i go days without speaking to anybody, i kind of a live online, i dont have any social life any more. My life is like a zombiville.
I am not sure how will i get through my old days. Probably living even more alone, with a dog or something. When you have bad breath you mean less than shit to other people.
I feel lonely for almost 20 years, and people are just damaging me all the time. My parents damaged me the most I think.
I do not beleive in cure, nobody gives a shit, we are a small group. And nothing works, even cancer is easier to treat than this shit I think.
****ing doctors dont give a ***k when they do a checkup. They can find out if you have other problems, but bad breath is still a mystery.
I am not sure how will i get through my old days. Probably living even more alone, with a dog or something. When you have bad breath you mean less than shit to other people.
I feel lonely for almost 20 years, and people are just damaging me all the time. My parents damaged me the most I think.
I do not beleive in cure, nobody gives a shit, we are a small group. And nothing works, even cancer is easier to treat than this shit I think.
****ing doctors dont give a ***k when they do a checkup. They can find out if you have other problems, but bad breath is still a mystery.
i am sure i have found the root of my problem. it is the way my tongue is structured and the upper middle part of my tongue has grooves which i can visibly see in the mirror are different to the rest of my tonguehali_grl wrote:danger
i know it sounds like a cliche but try finding the root of the problem and leave no stone unturned. if u can't afford your own specialist or researcher do your own. im taking my health into my own hand........
i know i will always have this. as i have said on the other thread, i cant get a new tongue
danger
i have the same geographical tongue your talking about ive always had it even the tonsil stones i noticed my first at 7 but i never had bb until i turned around 20 before i hd the occasionally bb from being parched or eating dairy or caffeine (which i now think are intolerances for me) but it was something gum easily cured. so i think the tongue is the vehicle allowing the bb bacteria to latch onto but our bodies should be able to fight off the bad bacteria our defense receptors should kick in there is an imbalance somewhere. i think dentist and mouthwash companies promote the tongue and mouth as marketing tools. unless you have gum disease or rottening impacted teeth but my teeth and mouth are fine i know my issue is internal.
jimi
there is a cure out there dr's are not well versed in halitosis alot of them still think its a hygiene or dental problem. the ppl that seem to take a interest to take the time to study and research this and come out w/ products are only interested in $$$ and are only band-aiding the problems for some but for us chronicers they dont even work. but jimi there is something out there i believe that w/ all my heart. don't give up and accept this life we have to be our own advocates we need to become well versed in how the body works and responds i swear ive learned so much i should recieve a ph d by the time this is all done. i believe that something has caused our immune system to lacks whether over use of antibiotcs, adrenal fatigue, etc. i think the relaxed immune system caused the imbaances which caused theroot problem for each of us. just keep on jimi don't let this defeat u i see so much darkness in you right now but i knw once u beat this thing there will be such a light.
fyi
i think for alot of us we see other problems like myself i use to have beautiful skin now for the past few months my face is breaking out, i have bloating, gas, fatigue, etc along w/ bb i think this proves bb is symptom rather a syndrom for most of us.
i have the same geographical tongue your talking about ive always had it even the tonsil stones i noticed my first at 7 but i never had bb until i turned around 20 before i hd the occasionally bb from being parched or eating dairy or caffeine (which i now think are intolerances for me) but it was something gum easily cured. so i think the tongue is the vehicle allowing the bb bacteria to latch onto but our bodies should be able to fight off the bad bacteria our defense receptors should kick in there is an imbalance somewhere. i think dentist and mouthwash companies promote the tongue and mouth as marketing tools. unless you have gum disease or rottening impacted teeth but my teeth and mouth are fine i know my issue is internal.
jimi
there is a cure out there dr's are not well versed in halitosis alot of them still think its a hygiene or dental problem. the ppl that seem to take a interest to take the time to study and research this and come out w/ products are only interested in $$$ and are only band-aiding the problems for some but for us chronicers they dont even work. but jimi there is something out there i believe that w/ all my heart. don't give up and accept this life we have to be our own advocates we need to become well versed in how the body works and responds i swear ive learned so much i should recieve a ph d by the time this is all done. i believe that something has caused our immune system to lacks whether over use of antibiotcs, adrenal fatigue, etc. i think the relaxed immune system caused the imbaances which caused theroot problem for each of us. just keep on jimi don't let this defeat u i see so much darkness in you right now but i knw once u beat this thing there will be such a light.
fyi
i think for alot of us we see other problems like myself i use to have beautiful skin now for the past few months my face is breaking out, i have bloating, gas, fatigue, etc along w/ bb i think this proves bb is symptom rather a syndrom for most of us.
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Phantasist
- Sheriff
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- Joined: Wed Jul 21, 2010 8:32 pm
@Jimi,
"My parents damaged me the most, I think."
Jimi, that sentence in your last post caught my eye. I have always felt the same way about my own parents. They were decent law-abiding people, but they didn't know how to raise a child. My father died when I was 16 and I ran away from my mother when I was 18. I know how you feel, and those feelings produce a lot of bitterness and resentment that make you feel worse. We are caught in a vicious trap. But I do a lot of reading, and I recall a very important sentence that some guy wrote in an article. Can't remember who it was, but here is what he said, "The first thing we have to do when we grow up is get over our parents!" I think he was right.
@Danger
If the deep groove in the middle part of your tongue is really the problem, you should be able to clean that out with an antibacterial rinse. But I knew a fellow who had a real geographic tongue (several deep grooves) and he never had bad breath. So maybe that's not the real cause.
"My parents damaged me the most, I think."
Jimi, that sentence in your last post caught my eye. I have always felt the same way about my own parents. They were decent law-abiding people, but they didn't know how to raise a child. My father died when I was 16 and I ran away from my mother when I was 18. I know how you feel, and those feelings produce a lot of bitterness and resentment that make you feel worse. We are caught in a vicious trap. But I do a lot of reading, and I recall a very important sentence that some guy wrote in an article. Can't remember who it was, but here is what he said, "The first thing we have to do when we grow up is get over our parents!" I think he was right.
@Danger
If the deep groove in the middle part of your tongue is really the problem, you should be able to clean that out with an antibacterial rinse. But I knew a fellow who had a real geographic tongue (several deep grooves) and he never had bad breath. So maybe that's not the real cause.
The hand we are dealt is fate. How we play the cards is free will.
PERSPECTIVE
Firstly , I understand that this is all an individual experience and it seems like nothing compares to this bb issue . And there is no way to inform people you love about it or have at least some support to deal with this .
I've considered drastic measures for other issues in my younger years too . ,for a hygiene issue in my teens, for a severe dermal issue in my 20s, for anxiety issues and bb currently . I swore to God in my teens what I'd do if he 'cured' me . For the Dermal issue in my 20s , again ,I swore and promised the person Id become .
The only pattern is How I chose to react to each issue . Creating a bubble and at the same time thinking I know how other will react and there is No good way out of it ."No one can understand" . Let me say how profound it is to talk about those past 'secret' issues recently with my parents ,siblings ,friend or counselors in hindsight now . I find out now that my parent has a very similar dermal issue and deals with anxiety/depression because of it. I am now able to offer support and advice because I went through it a decade ago. I find that a hereditary sinus issue is a springboard to talking about my BB with family . I make sure not to lay all the weight on them but let them be supportive and help with perspective ,because thats what I need most. Not secrecy .
Over time ,I have created a reclusive personality . Someone who often avoids . "The weird guy" as Danger says . And now the weird guy with BB .
But the guy who has learned that God does not forsake or curse us. He does not cure or heal us either . He gave us the tools we needed to Fix or Forsake ourselves at our birth. My terrible skin issues could come back worse !! My bb may become worse forever (knocks on wood* ) !! I've already contemplated the drastic negative of self harm, and unrealistic positives of promising to god.. Now in the 3rd+ decade I'll try honesty with myself and those that I need support from .
At my new job My boss has bb(mouth,type1?)and pretty strong .I'm sure he knows it, he doesn't take gum . He doesn't stand way back when talking ,and he and everyone knows I have bb . We have not discussed it yet ,but I've talked about sinuses recently to open the door to bb talk. So its coming. About gum: workers have offered it like they know it will fix bb , I take 2 pieces , chew, and when they realize it didn't help much and that my teeth and gums are perfect ,its squashed .
With the help of you guys ,your posts, and looking at my history of fatalist thinking , i know there are Many better ways . Most importantly ,the way I see my world . Please allow yourselves to take even small steps to being honest with someone about bb . Halitophobia often can easily overshadow even our Worst BB.
I've considered drastic measures for other issues in my younger years too . ,for a hygiene issue in my teens, for a severe dermal issue in my 20s, for anxiety issues and bb currently . I swore to God in my teens what I'd do if he 'cured' me . For the Dermal issue in my 20s , again ,I swore and promised the person Id become .
The only pattern is How I chose to react to each issue . Creating a bubble and at the same time thinking I know how other will react and there is No good way out of it ."No one can understand" . Let me say how profound it is to talk about those past 'secret' issues recently with my parents ,siblings ,friend or counselors in hindsight now . I find out now that my parent has a very similar dermal issue and deals with anxiety/depression because of it. I am now able to offer support and advice because I went through it a decade ago. I find that a hereditary sinus issue is a springboard to talking about my BB with family . I make sure not to lay all the weight on them but let them be supportive and help with perspective ,because thats what I need most. Not secrecy .
Over time ,I have created a reclusive personality . Someone who often avoids . "The weird guy" as Danger says . And now the weird guy with BB .
But the guy who has learned that God does not forsake or curse us. He does not cure or heal us either . He gave us the tools we needed to Fix or Forsake ourselves at our birth. My terrible skin issues could come back worse !! My bb may become worse forever (knocks on wood* ) !! I've already contemplated the drastic negative of self harm, and unrealistic positives of promising to god.. Now in the 3rd+ decade I'll try honesty with myself and those that I need support from . At my new job My boss has bb(mouth,type1?)and pretty strong .I'm sure he knows it, he doesn't take gum . He doesn't stand way back when talking ,and he and everyone knows I have bb . We have not discussed it yet ,but I've talked about sinuses recently to open the door to bb talk. So its coming. About gum: workers have offered it like they know it will fix bb , I take 2 pieces , chew, and when they realize it didn't help much and that my teeth and gums are perfect ,its squashed .
With the help of you guys ,your posts, and looking at my history of fatalist thinking , i know there are Many better ways . Most importantly ,the way I see my world . Please allow yourselves to take even small steps to being honest with someone about bb . Halitophobia often can easily overshadow even our Worst BB.
Last edited by deebo on Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
deebo
the line where you mentioned God doesn't forsake or cure us but gives us the tools we need was well put. i once heard a parable about a man lost out at sea and two boats came by and ask if he needed help and the man replied no thanks God will save me but when the man drowned and went to heaven he asked God Lord why did u not save me and God said I sent u two boats. my point is deebo your right faith w/o work is dead.
the line where you mentioned God doesn't forsake or cure us but gives us the tools we need was well put. i once heard a parable about a man lost out at sea and two boats came by and ask if he needed help and the man replied no thanks God will save me but when the man drowned and went to heaven he asked God Lord why did u not save me and God said I sent u two boats. my point is deebo your right faith w/o work is dead.
dont worry girls. we will find our cure. we just have to stick together and find out what is causing our bad breath. we will need to have a variety of tests done with doctors to rule out bacterial imbalance, stomach and bowel issues, dental issues (which in my case is highly unlikely), GERD, irritable bowel syndrome, TMAU, bile issues, bowel obstructions, and the list goes on... we will find out cure! we have to believe that the Lord will help guide us. I felt so alone for so long but now i feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. we are so close, i can smell our fresh breath! haha.
it has been a tough journey but we are nearing the end of the race! lets keep researching to find ways to help ourselves and each other. i would give you all my number but i am just so scared people will find out about me on a bad breath site. i love this site, but that would be very embarrassing to me. i hope you all understand! but please feel free to message me anytime! much love, happiness, peace, and patience to you all!!!!!!!!!!
it has been a tough journey but we are nearing the end of the race! lets keep researching to find ways to help ourselves and each other. i would give you all my number but i am just so scared people will find out about me on a bad breath site. i love this site, but that would be very embarrassing to me. i hope you all understand! but please feel free to message me anytime! much love, happiness, peace, and patience to you all!!!!!!!!!!