hopeful wrote:People...chillout. Let's not forget why we are all a part of this website. We won't be able to help each other if we're too busy getting upset at each other. Sweets, please please continue to post here. I think every contribution a member makes is really important in understanding our bb better. By the way, I read your original post and wasn't really confused at all despite not having read your other posts about visiting your family. Your point got across to me. Thanks for sharing.
well here i am. i said i wouldn't post here anymore, and the reason really had everything to do with the fact that posting here was negatively impacting my life. i worry more about bb now than i ever did, and i'm even having nightmares about bb (it's ridiculous)! i'm also extremely shocked to read the comments jimi, the site administrator, has left. i'm horrified actually, and saddened. lord knows i wish i could run home to my mother. i wish she was still alive.
but my point in writing:
after going to the family practice doctor today, i found myself writing to someone about my experience, and it dawned on me that bb suffers need to hear this not just my confidants. then i read 'hopeful' and 'emotional rescues' messages which confirmed this feeling i had. so here's my experience today:
i went to the family doctor today, and she treated me for my allergies (zyrtec + nasonex). she said that my nose was pretty blocked especially on one side which i was unaware of. i'm just so used to it.
i didn't really bring up the bb thing (just stuck with reporting my sinus and allergy symptoms), but when my dad went a few hours after me he did! i was so shocked that he would do that. the doctor told him i didn't have a problem (she didn't smell anything) and that treating my allergies/pnd would get rid of a possible cause of any bb i may have.
i felt pretty good to hear that, but still it doesn't change how i feel when i talk to people. i'll always feel like if i project my breath when i talk someone will react to it. that's just been my experience. all i did today was brush with smartmouth and tung. actually that's what i'd been doing for the past two days as well (no dioxirinse or tonsil cleaning with 'swish' on a qtip). at least i know the minimum i need to do now to be "okay." i even made sure to eat right before i went (two breakfast sandwiches from mcdonalds) to rule out eating factor. no water either.
i still hope to be able to get my tonsils and adenoids removed at some point, but i can't worry about that right now. being so concerned about bb is giving me horrible anxiety, and i need a break.