Why am I doing this?
OK - this will be pretty long but I hope there are somebody out there that will take interest in my shit.
It all started 6 years ago when I got a comment from a friend that my breath was bad. It was in the morning and I’ve just ran out of ead so it was probably a case of morning breath but I took it very personal and that’s when the paranoia kicked in. It just took one comment and I started being obsessed by the fact that I might been smelling bad and that people will start to avoid me and such things. From that moment on I avoided situations where I knew people could smell my ”bad breath”. It really made me feel bad about myself and it was the only thing I could think about. I Improved my hygiene but I kinda felt like I was doomed to a life with bad breath anyway and that I had to accept it.
Life continued but I was under heavy stress because you’re always in situations that could lead to people noticing your breath. After a while people started to take notice about why I was acting so weird like putting my hand infront of my mouth when speaking and why I suddenly became so quiet when I came near them. I loved socializing but within a OK range if you feel me.
Years passed on and I never really felt OK because it felt like life was moving on and that I was missing out because of this problem. So I asked my mom and a couple of friends what they thought about my breath and they said it was fine. I even got to visit a bad breath doctor and measured my breath in a Halimeter. The results were fine and I diden’t even have to pay because he said that that I did not have a problem. STILL I was convinced that i smelled bad and yeah, life continued but I was feeling more and more unsecure about myself and I diden’t even enjoy things anymore.
My mom knew about my problem and said that if you can’t belive me then you’ll have to talk to somebody about your problems so I started seeing a psychologist that said I had a mix of OCD/phobia and the only way you can get over it is to exposure yourself and breath near people. I did do it for a while and I kinda felt much better after a week or so but it went to hell.
Why? Well I’ve figured out that i’m stressed the fucked out and this is what’s causing my bad breath. I had two weeks this summer where my head was like ”man, you dont smell bad” and it was like my saliva was unleashed and I was feeling sooo good. My personality changed to the so much better and I diden’t get any reactions at all. All good right? Well I wished. I felt so great that I started to worry that I might fall back to the old thinking and yeah ofcourse I did. The dry mouth, stress and all that came back and I started too see reactions again.
When I tried to exposure technique it was so shitty in the beginning because I bet my breath smelled thanks to my dry mouth but after a while that went away. The saliva came back and no more reactions. I could be drinking and smoking at the club and I diden’t mather because the saliva made my mouth feel ”neutral”. Once again I got scared that I would get a relapse and yes I did!
So why the ***k am I doing this to myself?!?! I know that when I’m ”normal” I don’t smell but it’s like I cant convince myself that and it feels pretty shitty. It’s like I’m scared for life..
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Why am I doing this!??!
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halitosisux
- Moderator
- Posts: 3339
- Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:29 pm
Maybe you don't realise it yet, but perhaps you're using this breath fixation as a way of avoiding other issues in your life which you are anxious about. You should go back to that psychologist and disuss this and hopefully work on it if this is the case.
That's why you keep swinging in and out of your situation, because as soon as you feel settled about your breath, you are subconsciously bringing it back as an avoidance mechanism.
That's why you keep swinging in and out of your situation, because as soon as you feel settled about your breath, you are subconsciously bringing it back as an avoidance mechanism.
Re: Why am I doing this!??!
Wow that's a bizarre reason.Try chewing a gum when you are stressed about it and you stop producing saliva.The gum will help you produce more and will keep you fresh if you go once again on dry mouth mode by your own fearsDrala wrote:Why am I doing this?
OK - this will be pretty long but I hope there are somebody out there that will take interest in my shit. It all started 6 years ago when I got a comment from a friend that my breath was bad. It was in the morning and I’ve just ran out of ead so it was probably a case of morning breath but I took it very personal and that’s when the paranoia kicked in. It just took one comment and I started being obsessed by the fact that I might been smelling bad and that people will start to avoid me and such things. From that moment on I avoided situations where I knew people could smell my ”bad breath”. It really made me feel bad about myself and it was the only thing I could think about. I Improved my hygiene but I kinda felt like I was doomed to a life with bad breath anyway and that I had to accept it. Life continued but I was under heavy stress because you’re always in situations that could lead to people noticing your breath. After a while people started to take notice about why I was acting so weird like putting my hand infront of my mouth when speaking and why I suddenly became so quiet when I came near them. I loved socializing but within a OK range if you feel me.
Years passed on and I never really felt OK because it felt like life was moving on and that I was missing out because of this problem. So I asked my mom and a couple of friends what they thought about my breath and they said it was fine. I even got to visit a bad breath doctor and measured my breath in a Halimeter. The results were fine and I diden’t even have to pay because he said that that I did not have a problem. STILL I was convinced that i smelled bad and yeah, life continued but I was feeling more and more unsecure about myself and I diden’t even enjoy things anymore.
My mom knew about my problem and said that if you can’t belive me then you’ll have to talk to somebody about your problems so I started seeing a psychologist that said I had a mix of OCD/phobia and the only way you can get over it is to exposure yourself and breath near people. I did do it for a while and I kinda felt much better after a week or so but it went to hell.
Why? Well I’ve figured out that i’m stressed the fucked out and this is what’s causing my bad breath. I had two weeks this summer where my head was like ”man, you dont smell bad” and it was like my saliva was unleashed and I was feeling sooo good. My personality changed to the so much better and I diden’t get any reactions at all. All good right? Well I wished. I felt so great that I started to worry that I might fall back to the old thinking and yeah ofcourse I did. The dry mouth, stress and all that came back and I started too see reactions again.
When I tried to exposure technique it was so shitty in the beginning because I bet my breath smelled thanks to my dry mouth but after a while that went away. The saliva came back and no more reactions. I could be drinking and smoking at the club and I diden’t mather because the saliva made my mouth feel ”neutral”. Once again I got scared that I would get a relapse and yes I did! So why the ***k am I doing this to myself?!?! I know that when I’m ”normal” I don’t smell but it’s like I cant convince myself that and it feels pretty shitty. It’s like I’m scared for life..
