Just another rant
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:45 pm
The treatment for h. pylori did not work so now I still don't know what my problem is. I'm so sick of living like this. I can't go anywhere in public because if I do I just feel like some freak show.
I'm sick of the way people act around me. Every time I have to talk to customers they act so awkward around me. Like the smell is so bad they can't even think straight. They just stand there and think in their heads how bad the smell is. I just wish I had just one person that would be honest with me about this. It would be so helpful to have someone describe the smell to me and how far they can smell it. It would be helpful to know and I can try treatments and see if something is working or not. But I have no one to tell me. How the hell can I get rid of this when I can't even describe to a doctor how it smells. Even if I try some treatments I would have no idea if it is working so that I can continue it until it cures me. I can't tell any doctors that I have people tell me directly my breath smells. Because of that no doctor will take my problems seriously. They will all dismiss it and not try to fix my problems.
I want to get rid of this problem so much. I have been trying and I'm just sick of this. I just can't do it alone. I have been trying, but I can't do it. I really need some help, but I have no one. It's bad enough living with this problem, but its worse when everyone around you ignores it like its not a big deal. They probably think I should just get over it. Yet at the same time these same people constantly react to my smell. Always rubbing their nose non stop and making a stink face. I bet people don't even realize they are making a face and they are doing it involuntarily. Too bad they don't know I see that face even if it comes on for only a split second I see it.
I feel helpless all the time. I don't even know what to do anymore. I spent so much money on all these products and visiting doctors. I just can't afford the more expensive procedures like an endoscopy. If I was rich then yea I could afford to spend tens of thousands just going to specialists and taking all these tests to find any possible problem. But I'm broke as hell so what am I supposed to do? I can't even focus on making money because I am so depressed from this. I have no motivation to do anything at all. Everyday I just distract myself from my problems by just watching tv shows non stop. Or playing a game online for hours just so I don't have to think about anything.
You know I would even be able to live regularly if I could even just get rid of my nasal smell. If the smell only came from my mouth I would even be ok with that. Because then at least I can go in public places and people won't smell me as long as my mouth is closed. But my smell is so bad I can stink up any area I go to just by walking around. At this point I feel so defeated. I am exhausted mentally, and physically. I don't want to give up, but I have so little hope left.
I'm sick of the way people act around me. Every time I have to talk to customers they act so awkward around me. Like the smell is so bad they can't even think straight. They just stand there and think in their heads how bad the smell is. I just wish I had just one person that would be honest with me about this. It would be so helpful to have someone describe the smell to me and how far they can smell it. It would be helpful to know and I can try treatments and see if something is working or not. But I have no one to tell me. How the hell can I get rid of this when I can't even describe to a doctor how it smells. Even if I try some treatments I would have no idea if it is working so that I can continue it until it cures me. I can't tell any doctors that I have people tell me directly my breath smells. Because of that no doctor will take my problems seriously. They will all dismiss it and not try to fix my problems.
I want to get rid of this problem so much. I have been trying and I'm just sick of this. I just can't do it alone. I have been trying, but I can't do it. I really need some help, but I have no one. It's bad enough living with this problem, but its worse when everyone around you ignores it like its not a big deal. They probably think I should just get over it. Yet at the same time these same people constantly react to my smell. Always rubbing their nose non stop and making a stink face. I bet people don't even realize they are making a face and they are doing it involuntarily. Too bad they don't know I see that face even if it comes on for only a split second I see it.
I feel helpless all the time. I don't even know what to do anymore. I spent so much money on all these products and visiting doctors. I just can't afford the more expensive procedures like an endoscopy. If I was rich then yea I could afford to spend tens of thousands just going to specialists and taking all these tests to find any possible problem. But I'm broke as hell so what am I supposed to do? I can't even focus on making money because I am so depressed from this. I have no motivation to do anything at all. Everyday I just distract myself from my problems by just watching tv shows non stop. Or playing a game online for hours just so I don't have to think about anything.
You know I would even be able to live regularly if I could even just get rid of my nasal smell. If the smell only came from my mouth I would even be ok with that. Because then at least I can go in public places and people won't smell me as long as my mouth is closed. But my smell is so bad I can stink up any area I go to just by walking around. At this point I feel so defeated. I am exhausted mentally, and physically. I don't want to give up, but I have so little hope left.