33, Cursed with BB, Tonsillectomy made it worse!
Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2021 3:49 am
I was about 20 or so before I went to the doctor after feeling something weird in my throat. It was tonsil stones and I suffered with these and bad breath for many many years. I consistently had tonsils that were stuffed with this foul smelling stuff. I considered getting my tonsils out while I was away at college and I finally had and was required to have health insurance. However, during that first year there was a high profile case of a little girl going into a coma at a local area hospital after awakening from her tonsillectomy. That scared me out of it for many years. In January 2020 I decided to take some action and made an appointment with an ENT and was committed to getting these suckers out and changing my life for the better.
I was on a waitlist to get my tonsillectomy and then the pandemic hit. I did eventually get my tonsillectomy done in August 2020. I anticipated all the things that I could do once I had this procedure that I never had the confidence to do before without great mental turmoil. I could sing a duet at karaoke on one mic, talk loud, whisper closely to someone, makeout with people with joy and pleasure, and finally develop a happy and confident personality that I’ve been robbed of. I thought that most likely the removal of my tonsils would improve things if not solve my problem outright. I even considered the possibility that maybe things wouldn’t really change, but I never guessed that it would make my situation worse. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened.
My breath is infinitely worse smelling. There is now a rotten decrepit death smell that emanates from deep in my throat. Nothing helped before as far as mouthwashes, dietary changes etc and nothing does any good now. I wish I hadn’t rushed to surgical intervention. I had convinced myself that the tonsils were the likely cause even though it is estimated to account for 3% of bad breath. There is obviously some other internal source and my tonsils were likely doing their part to help fight off some of the bad bacteria. Now there’s nothing to fight it and the smell is more out in the open. I can hardly stand to live embodied with this stench and horrible taste in my mouth. The only relief is sleep. I always talked quietly before, and did certain things to try and hide my bad breath, never been a kisser in relationships, sleep turned the other way from someone in a bed, but now it is so much worse I can’t imagine trying to date or even have close friends ever again.
I wish I hadn’t gotten the surgery, but in my mind it was the only proactive way to do something about my problem. Had I not gotten it, I’m sure I would always wonder if it could have helped. So it is what it is, I still watch movies in wonder when I watch characters kiss or people talk to others with no shame and with close intimacy. I wish I never had to open my mouth again. When I try to be positive I am grateful to be in good health otherwise, and feel good in my body in every other way. I am glad not to smell horribly from any other area of my body. I can keep my outsides clean and present a nice appearance, but I will always lack the confidence to be who I might have been. I have to find a way to create a decent and meaningful life alone, despite the curse of the worst breath in all the world. I am an attractive 33 year old, coming to terms with the very real possibility of being alone throughout life because of this. It is embarrassing and isolating and hard to talk about with others. They don’t know that most of my thoughts are of my own bad breath. Constantly reminded of it because it never goes away. I try to be grateful for my early years where I didn't have this problem and for my teenage years up until 20 where I was able to date and try to have relationships with confidence.
I was on a waitlist to get my tonsillectomy and then the pandemic hit. I did eventually get my tonsillectomy done in August 2020. I anticipated all the things that I could do once I had this procedure that I never had the confidence to do before without great mental turmoil. I could sing a duet at karaoke on one mic, talk loud, whisper closely to someone, makeout with people with joy and pleasure, and finally develop a happy and confident personality that I’ve been robbed of. I thought that most likely the removal of my tonsils would improve things if not solve my problem outright. I even considered the possibility that maybe things wouldn’t really change, but I never guessed that it would make my situation worse. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened.
My breath is infinitely worse smelling. There is now a rotten decrepit death smell that emanates from deep in my throat. Nothing helped before as far as mouthwashes, dietary changes etc and nothing does any good now. I wish I hadn’t rushed to surgical intervention. I had convinced myself that the tonsils were the likely cause even though it is estimated to account for 3% of bad breath. There is obviously some other internal source and my tonsils were likely doing their part to help fight off some of the bad bacteria. Now there’s nothing to fight it and the smell is more out in the open. I can hardly stand to live embodied with this stench and horrible taste in my mouth. The only relief is sleep. I always talked quietly before, and did certain things to try and hide my bad breath, never been a kisser in relationships, sleep turned the other way from someone in a bed, but now it is so much worse I can’t imagine trying to date or even have close friends ever again.
I wish I hadn’t gotten the surgery, but in my mind it was the only proactive way to do something about my problem. Had I not gotten it, I’m sure I would always wonder if it could have helped. So it is what it is, I still watch movies in wonder when I watch characters kiss or people talk to others with no shame and with close intimacy. I wish I never had to open my mouth again. When I try to be positive I am grateful to be in good health otherwise, and feel good in my body in every other way. I am glad not to smell horribly from any other area of my body. I can keep my outsides clean and present a nice appearance, but I will always lack the confidence to be who I might have been. I have to find a way to create a decent and meaningful life alone, despite the curse of the worst breath in all the world. I am an attractive 33 year old, coming to terms with the very real possibility of being alone throughout life because of this. It is embarrassing and isolating and hard to talk about with others. They don’t know that most of my thoughts are of my own bad breath. Constantly reminded of it because it never goes away. I try to be grateful for my early years where I didn't have this problem and for my teenage years up until 20 where I was able to date and try to have relationships with confidence.