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Advice on dating please ?

Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:49 pm
by Sabbir
Hi

I am a 37 year old male in London. When I was in my teen I was traumatised when my mother and a friend at school told me I had bad breath. I feel terrified aroud dating women . I am able to meet them as friends and keep a reasonable distance.

I have hardly had any girlfriends. I want now to date a woman I like. But I am not sure how I should appraoch the issue. We are friends at the moment.

Any advice is appreciated.

Should I be honest with her from the start. Should I just tell her I have bad breath and I want to date her? Or should I just try and kiss her on a date?. I don't know what to do. and I hope somebody has experience.

Please reply to the noticeboard or give a reply.

Sabbir

Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 8:32 pm
by Leena
Hey Sabbir,

In my opinion you should just get closer and closer and then things can naturally lead to a date.

Don`t tell her you have BB. I mean if someone approaches me and warns me about his BB this would be a major turn off - it`s not romantic at all and girls like romance. So just act like nothing is wrong with you because nothing actually is wrong with you. Maybe your BB is not that strong. Or she might not have a very good sense of smell.
So be natural and just kiss her. If she reacts in a negative way then you can explain her about your problem.

The key for a succesfull date and being attractive to women is confidence. Which of course is very difficult for all of us but you have to manage somehow. Don`t show her insecurity or anything similar to saying you have BB.

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 2:28 am
by HappyDays
Leena is right. Confidence is the key!

There are tons of people with BB but they either dont know it or act like they dont know it and the more regular they act, the more regular the people around them act. If you act selfconcious about it then she will be turned off. If she does find out somehow, then just be honest with her and let her know the truth as best you can but let her know its a medical issue and inform her about it. Communication is the key, let her meet the real you when you have a chance and she will respond open and honestly. If she doesnt want to be with you afterwards than you dont want to be with that type of person anyways.

Thank you so much for the replies

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 2:01 pm
by Sabbir
Thank you Leena and Happy days

Both your replies are very gratfully appreaciated. I have so much fear involved in this area. And getting your responses has been extreamly helpful. Both your replies make a lot of sence. I feel a lot more hopeful and confident about what I should do.

It is also really helpful to get the view from womans point of view because I am not sure what is romantic and what is a turn off in dating.

Thank you so much.

Sabbir

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:22 pm
by Larc400
I totally agree. I don't tell dates that I'm aware of any problem and just try to get on with it. Starting off a first date by talking about BB is an obvious turn-off as it's not part of any girl's (or boy's) ideal.

After a while though, when she's already hooked and deeply adoringly in Love with ya, maybe it's time to tell her about it, as it might be the best way to find out when the bb is good or bad ... at least that's what I would like to do with this girl I've been dating for a few weeks... We'll see though: maybe I'll only do it if she actually asks. And if I talk about it, I'll make sure she understands it's a medical condition (Something like, yeah I have a bacterial problem in my sinuses ... it kinda smells funny sometimes, haven't you noticed?) 8)

Good luck!

:-({|=

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:35 pm
by HappyDays
Again Larc is right on!!

Perception is everything. Someone thinking you have terrible hygiene will get you ignored big time, someone knowing you have a medical condition that you are working on, especially if you try to explain in in an intelligent way, will get you sympathy and understanding which should draw her even closer.

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 6:55 am
by austuser
yes agree with larc

my last girlfriend and i were friends for a year when she told me she was madly in love with me. after that we were together for a year and she always told me i had shit breath but that didnt change anything. when a girl is in love, no amount of bad breath will change her feelings, no matter how much she complains about it.

it's all great advices, but ....

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:50 am
by bb_us_hope
it's all great advices and all, but when you can stink up the car just by opening your mouth, it's kind of hard to be subtle about it.

Just lock the doors as soon as she gets in, she she can't escape.

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 2:48 am
by lolalola
I also dread being in the car with people. That is why I turn the air on full blast so that the smell doesn't smell up the car. I do this in the winter and open the window in the summer! If I am a passenger I always make an excuse and crack the window and try not to breathe too hard..

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 2:02 am
by thanatos
:-k

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 3:01 am
by integral
Why would one with bb have to tell about it to their partner, if it would be sensed fairly soon?

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 6:19 pm
by DRASTIC
I have to agree with integral on this point.

Your bad breath would be obvious for others to smell no need to go telling your partner because he or she probably already knows you have bad breath. :oops: :? :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

Drastic