Anyway this is probably going to be sooo long! thats because i feel like writing and don't have anything better to do .. and theres no stopping me!!!! muaahaha hehe jk
I am a 19 year old gal and well lets see i remember being such a jolly person i would always put a smile on people's faces, very outgoing and i was just seriously always happy even if i was having a bad day i wouldn't let it get to me. I remember being around 9 years old i had bad breath..i don't know if it was that bad or not but i clearly remember it, as a child i honestly really didn't care about it. Going into middle school i noticed sometimes my friends would cover their nose sometimes when i would talk to them close (i still didn't care) then i discovered Listerine in like 7thgrade and that helped=) i used Listerine twice a day and remember telling my mom i felt my breath didn't smell anymore ..
Years passed i entered high school had my first boyfriend freshman year i remember one time we were converting and he totally backed his head away from me and i was like huh? but i did not really pay much mind to it. freshman - junior year were loads of fun i really enjoyed it,( i got braces sophomore year) got pretty good grades, hung out with my girlfriends and do social things ya know, had a few boyfriends. Then came senior year, the most anticipating year since you start high school, its suppose to be the best year right? You get your drivers license, job, the partying, graduation and your last year before going off to college
. I was expecting all of this, unfortunately it was the worst year of my whole entire life. that summer i realized that my breath was horrible i noticed my friends and people would do all those reactions they do when something reeks, i started getting self conscious and started paying attention to peoples reaction when i would talk to them (i probably shouldn't have started doing that in the first place) and i realized "umm my breath must really stink" i said that in my head lol. i had a boyfriend at the time we had been in a relationship since the last few months of my sophomore year, i was really comfortable with him and asked him if he could smell my breath and tell me if it reeked, he said no and i was like hmmm... didnt believe him. anyway people's reaction really got to me, i remember this guy in my english class would literally cover his nose through out the whole time we were in that class, i wanted to run out of that class and hide under a hole!!!When we went on winter break that's when i got bad it started to get to me, when school started i avoided my friends made excuses when they made plans for the weekend, i stopped eating with them during lunch at first i would just sit in the bathroom through out lunch and not even eat ( i was hungry but i found it nasty bringing my food into the bathroom stalls) i got tired after sitting in the bathroom without eating after a while so i started going into my Spanish teachers class and eating my lunch in there. i was doing really bad in school most of the time i would skip school and just stay home and be depressed, because of this my grades were horrible i was failing almost every class, i talked to no one at school my boyfriend had graduated 2 years before me so i was pretty much a loner, my friends did not know what i was going through they just knew i was avoiding them and after awhile they stopped inviting me to places which i was so glad about because i was tired of turning them down. I didn't graduate high school
because my grades bad bad bad! i was so depressed and as dumb as this sounds i was going to attempt s*****e i wanted to get so high off pills and have an overdose or something my boyfriend got suspicious because i would ask him questions about drugs and he already knew i was depressed thank god for him because i wouldn't be here today if he was not at the right place at the right time (that's a whole other-story though and this is getting pretty long) i had to suck it up and go to adult school which i did not have a problem with because you don't have to do group projects or partner up with people bc the teacher says so, it was all independent work i got my high school diploma and was outta there woot woot. omg you guys this is sooo long!!! sorry if anyone will be reading up to here, i dont think anyone would haha whatevs.. gona try to shorten this up. Ok so i have been doing better i am not as depressed as before, i go out in public more than i used to, either to the grocery store or run errands, my boy friend and i broke up last year but we are like best friends he has really put up with my shit which i thank him for. i have been putting off college because i know if i start its not going to be my first priority, i actually started this fall but i dropped my classes because i couldn't do it, all i thought about was what are people going to think about me when i talk to them. I brush my teeth after every meal and floss, use Listerine and therabreath. carry mints and gum with me everywhere!!
I am determined to not give up until i find a cure for this .. i went for a cleaning to my dentist and discussed to him about my breath (btw people i have told about my breath tell me its not as bad as i think it is, i feel like it is though and i have no self esteem) he told me my widom teeth have been growing in and my gum is overlapping it he says maybe that is the cause of a "little foul smell" (pssshh yea right) because i am not able to brush my wisdom teeth since they my gums are overlapping them and little particles of food get stuck in there, which is kinda true bc i always use a toothpick to take out any pieces of food my toothbrush isnt able to and i go under the gum from my widom teeh and sometimes im able to get some particles of food when i do that, also when i got my braces off it staaaankkk!! like i smelled this like odor ugh i cant explain it but it smells like when you haven't flossed in so long and when u do the floss smells (i always smell my floss after i finish flossing) but yea i felt like the smell was coming from the back teethes ... but he says i can go to an oral surgeon and get the piece of gum cut off or just getting all my wisdom teeth taken out. I decided i will just get them out which is 4 of them ughhh my appointment is on Tuesday eeeek! I am also planning on getting a deep cleaning but it is pretty expensive so i am waiting for my friend to go to Tijuana hahaha because they do it super cheap over there. if all this doesnt help then i know it is coming from my stomach and will go to a gastrointestinal thing.
Yay guys i hope we can all find our cure!! Don't loose hope, hope is what keeps me going because i didn't have any i would probably shoot myself (not literally) i hope to talk to u guys and have started reading some of your stories, they are very touching and im so glad i can to relate to everyone here!
*cyber hugs*
